i know a post on an internet site isn't going to cure anything but i'm really at a stage in my life where i feel like i have no real friends or companions everyone's just chilling because they want to get fucked up and all i have is 1 or 2 true friends but everyone else is just in it for their benefit and this girl i'm talking to is playing some mean mind games with me i want to start surrounding myself with different people but these are really the chillest people around me not that i think that im better than them i just cant make a connection with ANYONE and its cause me a lot depression.
all i do is cover my pain up with booze because thats all i know and all im surrounded by i dont know if im an alcoholic or not because i dont drink excesively but i really cant go a week without drinking atleast once and its allll acceptable in my culture and surroundings. i feel so pathetic this girls just a party girl that i was dating and then rekindled things with, now shes saying she likes me a lot but doesn't answer me when i want to hang out with and when i see her she avoids me, a lot unlike before when everything was normal between us. also i feel like i try to make friends with people not to forwardly at all but theyll think im weird or annoying or something and will just throw me to the side and say that kids weird... i try to tell myself its the people i surround myself with then i go on to think that im just actually weird.. but im actually nice and respectful to people so they should look past my social dissabilties and it all fucks with my head.
18 is a really hard age. Hell 18 to 20 i think is a hard age. Draw a line on what you want and don't want and stop at nothing tell you get what you want. Wether you have social dissabilties or not that does not matter. Lots of people have dissabilties of some kind but that doesn't stop anyone from being a friend. As long as you know what you want and continue to fight for it, you will get it. Sometimes goals take weeks or even years or longer. Though if you want it, and you keep your focus, you will get it. Anything is possible in this world. If anyone says to you, thats impossible, they have the mentality of a failure. Do not listen to them, or yourself if you have those thoughts. Stop drinking now. Find another way to cover up your pain. Trust me brother i understand its hard as hell, but its very possible. Get a hold of your drinkning now before you are legally able to buy. Thats when shit can get really bad. I listen to music constantly to help me. Please quit drinking now, it will only bring you good. The longer you are sober and the more you tell people that you don't drink, you will start to find people who will understand, and will want to be a friend without getting fucked up. You have to draw the line, and never forget why you drew it. You must stand up and fight for it, you must never look at the ground, you must have confidence in yourself, you must not give a fuck about 'social dissabilties' you must tell yourself that you will NOT give up. Stand up tall, put your fist in the air, stick your chest out, and go get what you want in this world. Life is full of quests and ever goal can be reached. Those who stand their ground make it, those who give in for any reason do not. Your choice. Just don't forget why you drew that line and why you are standing for it.
