Ok, so I've always had pretty fcked up dreams. Actually, I can remember waking up in a crib after fucked up dreams. Anyway, I've been using opiates/opioids constantly for a while now. I realized how much I liked them after a pretty serious spine injury which the doctors weren't able to fix because the vertebrae they needed to hold the screws that would support a burst fracture, were ironically fractured. This past year or so I started using opiates pretty heavily, different stuff all the time, but I'd say it takes about 160mg of oral oxycodone to get a good nod. Since I've stared using this heavily I've stopped dreaming. Well, after a very long streak, somehow, I couldn't find shit for about 4 days or so. I've always had problems with insomnia (3-4 hours a night or so and I miss a lot of nights) and rls. So I didn't get a minute of sleep for literally 4 days due to not being able to lay down without thrashing around everywhere. On the fourth day I took a couple ambiens and surprisingly it calmed my body down to the point that I could just lay there bearabley, rubbing my feet together. I dozed off and had a little reminder on how vivid and disturbing my dreams can be. The first 30 minutes or so I was walking around in the woods behind my house in the middle of the night. It was near pitch black and I came up on this pile of smoldering baby dolls. Somehow, I was pretty sure there were some real babies in there so I didn't really check it out. I also knew there was this girl a kind of know, just through exchanging drugs and what not, watching me from far away. Also, I knew there were 2 other smoldering piles like this one formig a triangle somewhere else in the woods. I woke up and I remember it being less than an hour since the last time I looked at my clock. I dozed off again. This time I was in a sort of, post apocalyptic world accompanied by a couple family members, and some guy I don't know. We came up to a beat down house/cabin lookin place in a clearing in some woods and there was a man there. I remember the man saying something mean to my brother, who's autistic, and it got to me but I let it go. It kind of reminded me of how my step mom would treat him in real life when we were little and I was always too afraid of saying anything. Although now, I don't stand for that shit. So the random gu we were wih, the random guy we found at this place, a family member, and I walk into this cabin like place and I open a door and there's a dead body that looks seriously beat. Somehow we all knew it was the guy we found here and we glared at him and he just said "shit", and started swinging. Now this guy was one tough mother fucker. The guy we were with had a saw zaw, that looks exactly like the one I use at work, and he started plunging it into his stomache and moving it around, yanking it out, putting it back in, and so on. So his guys still fucking swinging and I'm just standing there, about 6 feet away, just watching. I remember right before I woke up the guy on our side, stuck he saw right in the dudes neck and pushed it down past his collar bone, and he just looked pissed and kept swinging, and I woke up. So whatcha guys think? They seem very randomly symbolic, especially the first one. I figure it's probably just random shit, but I wanna see wht someone else has to say about it. Sorry for any typos and my horrible punctuation, I'm on an iPhone.
Do you want them to stop? Or are you looking for a dream interpretation? Your on a forum, no need to worry about perfect punctuation.
Whoa Dude!!! Or Girl!! Please stop with the opiates now while you still can! Take what you have learnt and make a diary or something like it so your experiences won’t fade with time. Really you don’t have to go through the shitty part of it, it was enough, get yourself very high on DMT, LSD, MDMA, Salvia, 2CB, Psilocibin, and mescaline. You can learn from beautiful chemicals without being a slave, really, I know is not the point of the thread but I’m saying it out of love, cut NOW with any narcotics. For lucid dreaming there is Silene Capensis, Calea Zacatechichi and Guayusa, this plants will boost your drams colorful and deep with meaning.
Normally I'm generally very anxious and depressed. I have these weird things about me that tend to be brought out and intensified by psychedelics. Every single time I've tripped it was horrible in ways I just can't really explain well. Sometimes I'll just kind of realize how fake everything seems and I almost feel detached from myself in a way. I'll just, all of a sudden, really REALIZE how strange existence is and it really, really freaks me out. I'll look down at my body and my hands and they just seem so alien. So does everything around me, literally everything. Even empty space, I just realize it's there and it shouldn't be, and I can just really feel it around me. This really isn't a good description of what I'm trying to explain. Theres other things that are also difficult to explain, like when i realize how every moment that passes I'll never get back, and it's just going to keep on passing by till I'm dead, and then none of it mattered. Sure, I can change things for he better to improve other peoples lives, but ultimately, there moments are just like mine. I also always care too much about other people, people I don't even know. If I see someone even remotely sad, it makes me sad, maybe even more sad than they are. I can see how people are feeling on their faces, I'm very good at spotting a fake smile, and trust me, i know a good fake smile when i see one. You can tell when people have had a lot of practice at it. You know, when they master they way your brow is supposed to curve, and those wrinkles next to your eyes, those supposedly involuntary muscle movements. Believe me, feeling things like this on psychedelics is just terrible. Anyway, I would really like to quit opiates/opioids believe me on this. I've done it before, but I just go back to how I used to be. My whole life until I found opiates I've just wished I would find something that would fix everything, and I did. When I run out though, all my problems are worse. The rls is torture, anyone wih rls knows what I mean. I also start to think about how I work 10-12 hours a day and almost all the money goes to drugs. I mean, there's people that are literally born and just starve their whole life. The amount of money I spend on drugs could probably make a few family's lives much more bearable.
I've never really bought into dream interpretations, but these just seemed so strangely symbolic, so if you think you have an interpretation it would be appreciated. Do I want them to stop? Honestly, I've almost missed them. They're so vivid and I do have good dreams sometimes.
When you see the baby dolls burning your probably thinking the worst of a situation and disregard the entire event as a whole. (straying away from bad things) The girl, Your dealer? most likely an opiate dealer from what you have said so far. ^ the 2 events correlate or I missed something. So You are trying to get away from opiates, and if your not then your body is telling you something with these graphic dreams "stay away from Opiates." A triangle? Probably a pattern your mind wanted you to recognize. So far: Your body wants you to stray away from opiates, whether its ignoring them or facing them. The triangle indicates a pattern, probably of relapsing I suppose? Apocalypse: Family and 1 stranger, the stranger could be a dealer or a family friend. Your brother means what you said, im sorry to hear that your mother was a ****. this next half is a bit tricky. Everyone recognizes the body, its you. The man you attack is yourself, you feel guilty for not sticking up for your brother so to stick up for the past. when he cuts open his stomach u realize its you (the saw at work) Your self destructive behaviour has led you to destroy your internal organs (liver - again a opiate hint) Now at the beginning you sounded sure of a few things and then changed to a narrative angle toward the end. Probably because you are actually conscious of the actions your taking but instead of acting on reason or motive your acting on impulse or instinct. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You should look into Lucid Dreaming and meditation teks. They will help you a lot with dreams and conscious awakenings. Also, I really think that the opiate thing is a huge factor in these dreams and I suggest you cut back. Im not going to like im a huge drugy, I just use my chemicals responsibly and rarely ( other than weed ) I dont like suggesting drugs but try a mild psychadelic and see where it takes you, you can do it legally or illegally. Look up your local reservation and Shaman's for a spiritually guided mission into the depths of your soul. If you need anything else PM me, and if you think my interpretation was off dont hesitate to let me know! I just help you find the answer to your dreams, I dont make them.
Actually the girl is someone I've given drugs to and gotten drugs from. I helped her out and then she tried rippin me off When I was dope sick and we don't really talk anymore. Your interpretations could definitely make sense though.
I forgot to mention. I used to be a very heavy weed smoker. I didn't realize it at first, because I was very rarely sober, but weed brings all those things out too. I still smoke a little at night sometimes, but it's such a small amount that if I suck too hard the little nug will pull through. If I smoke too much now I generally get really uncomfortable. I do still smoke a fat bowl or j occasionally when I realize I'm fucking up to the point that I'm risking my life, or I start falling into thise suicidal thoughts. It sucks when I get too high like that, and all those things I brought up come out, but at the same time, it makes me really think about what I'm doing with my life. It makes me remember wantig to study psychopharmocology. It makes me realize how I have no ambition, and I realize that's a problem. It keeps me in check. I think there's a pretty good chance I would be dead or in prison if I didn't get blazed and reflect every now and then. By the way, it's only been like half a year or so since I stopped smoking daily.
I forgot to mention. I used to be a very heavy weed smoker. I didn't realize it at first, because I was very rarely sober, but weed brings all those things out too. I still smoke a little at night sometimes, but it's such a small amount that if I suck too hard the little nug will pull through. If I smoke too much now I generally get really uncomfortable. I do still smoke a fat bowl or j occasionally when I realize I'm fucking up to the point that I'm risking my life, or I start falling into thise suicidal thoughts. It sucks when I get too high like that, and all those things I brought up come out, but at the same time, it makes me really think about what I'm doing with my life. It makes me remember wantig to study psychopharmocology. It makes me realize how I have no ambition, and I realize that's a problem. It keeps me in check. I think there's a pretty good chance I would be dead or in prison if I didn't get blazed and reflect every now and then. By the way, it's only been like half a year or so since I stopped smoking daily.
