Desperate for advice on insecurity

I've struggled with low self esteem since I can remember. I was raised in a very negative-verbal and church strict home. It seemed the older I got, the less I did right. I met an amazing man that I can trust, loves me and treats me like a queen. But just like my previous relationships, I get extremely uncomfortable when there's a sex scene in movies/tv shows. Not pornos, just movies. It's even worse when our friends are over and it happens. I know it's all fake and I'm the one he goes to sleep with at night... I hate myself. The only confidence I have is in my personality. Days like this I feel hideous and worthless. I have been diagnosed with severe depression and I unwillingly take antidepressants, but I know I need them. I have talked to my fiance about it and he tries to reassure me. How do I get to the state of mind where that stuff doesnt bother me anymore? Any advice is very appreciated!

 

Just wondering how you "know" you need antidepressants? I would suggest you steer clear of them as best you can... (don't believe the commercials on TV)

As far as that "stuff" bothering you maybe a councilor/therapy (no drugs) possibly hypno-therapy, or something like EFT (emotional freedom technique) or other energy work of that sort. What are your religious beliefs now compared to how you were raised? if you don't mind my asking

 

I agree with avoiding antidepressants as far as possible, they are horrible drugs.

I think if you can root out this mentality, maybe you'll find it easier to feel more secure. Not easy to feel secure about something you hate.

 

Why?

 

yeah, to Tyrsonswood and JimmyP, why are antidepressants so bad?
I suppose it's always better if one can live without drugs, but i have good examples of people whose lives have literally been saved by antidepressants, so frankly i'm glad that they exist...

and to SweetAshweed86, i'm not sure i got that right : do u mean that u feel threatened when your man sees sex scenes on tv?

 

I don't know if I feel threatened or what. It just makes me feel uncomfortable. I was raised old school Pentecost, I'm not sure what exactly I believe in. I know there's a higher power but I don't believe in the way I was brought up. I'm very unsure about everything. I tried cutting back on the sertraline half to try weening myself off, but the change was hard to handle.

 

They're most likely coming from where I'm coming from:

Anti-depressants don't often help, and can have very negative risks and side effects. The pharmaceutical industry is greedy, and is first and foremost concerned with profit/marketing over actually helping the patients. Cannabis and psychedelics are better ways of handling psychological issues because of the lack of negative physical side effects, and the effectiveness of those drugs.

 

the same things that will help your depression will help boost your self-confidence as well. exercising, healthy, balanced diet... maybe some vitamin B12 for your mood.

 

Its hard, I whent through a lot and am still going through events that I cant really handle. I suffer from mild psychosis, depression, disassociation, self destructive behavior and self esteem issues....

I have 4 misdemeanors and 1 felony. Looks like fate was being nice to me by not sending me away.

How i push through it idk, death is final. I backup my self esteem with confidence, I slay depression with peace, I live life because I can.....

I cant give you solid advice because nobody understands what ur going through, but I can say this, "Life is a privilege."

Dont take pills, the first human didn't u shouldn't either. The mind can do anything, people just never try to do anything.

 

Missed your post, Carole... An antidepressant called Cymbalta nearly killed me. I run a forum for this and there are thousands out there that have run into the same thing with just this one drug. (There is a withdrawal forum for just about any SSRI/SNRI drug made) The problem is these drugs are handed out like candy with no warnings about their dangerous side effects or how hard they are to quit once you start taking them... But the drug companies are making out like bandits.


Sorry for the off topic...

 

Do you have any info on prefaxine and trittico cr? That's what I'm taking.
Trittico extremely helped me to regulate my sleep, I don't see huge changes after prefaxine.

 

Ok, i understand your point. But there's one thing i don't get, u say "The pharmaceutical industry is greedy" and then u advocate using illegal drugs ("cannabis and psychedelics"), which, for the record, i don't think most people are willing to do... So do u think people should trust drug dealers who sell illegal drugs more than they trust the people who sell legal drugs ?

I see. It is indeed true that doctors prescribe antidepressants too easily and they don't explain the side effects enough. I'm sorry to hear that u had a terrible experience with them...

(and yes, sorry OP for the off-topic conversation)

 

It depends on the dealer. There are plenty of dealers that aren't just in it for the money, and don't sell hard drugs. You could also move to a medical state, and get cannabis from a dispensary. You could also grow your own cannabis or shrooms, if you have the option.

What don't you get? If the pharmaceutical industry really cared about the patients, then they wouldn't be the ones lobbying for keeping cannabis illegal. They also wouldn't fire people for bringing up the fact that cannabis in oil form heals cancer and other diseases. (see the documentary "Run from the Cure" for reference) There's a lot of people who make a living off of selling pharmaceutical drugs, and they're not willing to give that up by allowing drugs that actually cure and effectively help the patient to replace them.

Yes, there are plenty of doctors that actually want to help the patients they're seeing, but they're unwittingly part of a larger system which forces them to use the drugs they're given. Most of them only know what the system teaches them.

I think if you research drugs regardless of their legality, but based on the actual science and safety, you'll learn a lot and can then make an informed decision on the matter. I've looked at plenty of articles and testimonies. And I've watched plenty of documentaries. Yes, I definitely feel more safe taking cannabis and psychedelics than I do taking something the doctor would give me. There's a reason why I avoided anti-depressants once I knew the info, and I'm glad I did.

Based on her username, my guess is that OP already smokes cannabis. Maybe 1 or 2 psychedelic trips may be what she needs to help cure her psychological problems. My last mushroom trip in January made huge strides in overcoming my depression and changing my mindset/outlook on life. I feel like I could use another, though. Hopefully I can find a way soon....

I'm also taking a class about psychedelic drugs (yes, my local college actually offers that), and we're learning a lot about this kind of stuff. MDMA particularly sounds like it'd be good for this type of situation.

Check out http://maps.org, and you'll see where I'm coming from.