About a week ago, I had this very weird dream that was slightly disturbing. It left me thinking about it and feeling its effects for a couple days after. It was very vivid, but it wasnt lucid, except maybe one moment of it. Theres no way I can accurately explain how it made me feel. It started off with me and my girl friend (not girlfriend) walking together. I said goodbye and turned away. Then I heard people yell and I turned around and she was gone. Someone around said she fell in the (inaudible)!" I ran up and she was in this hole in the ground, but there was concrete near the entrance, below the edge and she was sorta between it and falling down in the hole. I dont know how to explain it. But I grabbed her hand and held her up so she wouldnt slip down in. I remember her saying "Please dont let me fall" and I said "I wont." It was all very scary. I remember seeing her face and it was a look of pure terror. (Also, shes one of those people who are quiet and doesnt talk much so it was pretty weird to see that) I didnt let go, but I felt something pull down on her and she sorta rotated around the hole and then it felt like something pulled down on her or she fell off a ledge or something so I really had to hold on. Then, again, I heard someone say "Shes inside the.. (inaudible)" I was suddenly in my bedroom, and there was a fat man laying down behind the end of my bed. You cant see it from the doorway. He had very short arms and legs but a big belly. I realized that she was inside him. This is where it kinda gets lucid. Out of fear for her safety, I took a large knife and I sliced his stomach. He yelled in pain so I had to slash his throat. Then I cut his stomach open but she wasnt in there. His guts spilled out and I felt extremly sad that I didnt save my friend. It came to me that she somehow died. My mother said something and opened the door and I spun around, not wanted her to see the dead body in my room. Nervously, I got her to leave and then I had to wrap up his body and dispose of it. Thats when it ended. The feelings of dread and sadness and fear were so real in my dream. The part where I had to slash his throat was so.. Idk. It felt lucid but I couldnt stop myself from killing him. And then when his guts fell out..... When I woke up, I thought about it for the whole day. It just came back to me now and I thought id share it with you.
Uh, wow. How do you feel about your girl friend (not girlfriend). Do you have a sense that you may lose her in waking life? Somehow it seems significant that this young woman died but she wasn't in the fat man's belly. Now there's a sentence I'll probably never have cause to type again in my life.
I would bet that this is at bottom about sibling rivalry and jealousy. You gotta have younger siblings, right? If in fact you don't have a younger sister, I confess that this dream completely baffles me. But this is what I think: You feel competition and rivalry with the girl friend, but this is patterned on a deeper rivalry with a younger sibling, probably a sister. The girlfriend falling into the hole and ending up in a big belly represents a wish from your early childhood that your sister would go back where she came from, i.e. back into the womb. Really it's a wish that she had'nt been born, that the event could be reversed and erased. That way, you (the child you) could have exclusive posession of one or both of your parents, probably your father? So really, you wanted the friend/sibling to fall into the hole and disappear. The dream represented you as trying to help because of the guilt you felt about the wish. In this way, dream absolves you of hostile, competitive feelings towards people you love. The fact that the man is hidden behind your bed suggests that it is your father that you wanted to keep to yourself, i.e. not have to share with your sister. The sister going into the man means that you feel your father prefers your sister to you, and you are saying something like she's "daddy's girl", she's her father's child. But then you kill your father in revenge for preferring her. Now's when you say you don't have a younger sister ...
most likely it was the feelings that generated the events in the dream, rather then the other way around. even if the feelings themselves had no other origin then in it. the mind works that way some times.
