Is this all in my head?

Hey everyone, I'm new here and basically just came to tell my story. I am very confused about myself and I have no idea where I stand in my sexuality. I am a 19 year old woman and I've always believed I was heterosexual. I had several boyfriends in high school but whenever we would get intimate I would become extremely nervous. Perhaps this is normal but I would literally shake in anxiety whenever things got very intense. Later on in life I began to develop more sexual relationships and felt more comfortable engaging in sex with a boyfriend. My whole life though, I have fantasized about women when masturbating. Recently though, my fantasies have been more intense and I have imagined engaging in sexual acts with certain women that I know. Strangely enough I find that when I am intoxicated I feel exclusively attracted to females, though in a sober state I get very nervous when thinking about making a move with another woman. Additionally, I don't necessarily find myself attracted to women as a whole but rather only certain people who may or may not be involved in my life. My question is: Has anyone else had experiences similar to this? I have always identified as straight but I'm not sure if I am queer or if I even want to take my fantasies to real life and fool around with a woman. Also, I feel that "experimenting" would only lead to hurt feelings with any woman looking to pursue me. How do I go about "trying out the water" without hurting someone else?

Thanks everyone!

 

Welcome welcome! It's a little hard to tell since you're 19. Probably just natural curiosity, that's all. Could be bisexual as well. I have a thing sort of in reverse in the fact that I'm gay, but I develop these strange attractions to women when I know them well and they click in a special way with me. It's caused me to become confused about who I am a couple more times than when I initially came out. I'm fairly sure that you could have a great fling with an understanding gal who would take it at face value. I'm no expert, but from observation I know a lot more girls who are willing to dabble in homosex acts than dudes. Take care and I hope the forums are a great niche for you!

 

yeah...im transgender m to f and attracted to women...however i have been transgendered for so long i have lost sight of gender and today do not really identify as any gender other than myself.....as far as your sexual orientation goes....i do not know what to advise you other than just wait...think and feel your way into your feelings and find someone who might be on a similar levil..ay

 

gwen is that you, i didnt think i would talk to you again. good, and strange...to hear from you at a place like this.

 

It's a small world after all.