I wanna give up.

I feel like my whole life is just crashing down.

I don't have a job.
My ex-boyfriend is trying to get back with me just to control me.
My friends are slipping out of my fingers.
My family ain't trying be there for me.
I have no one or nothing to rely on at all , but my own self.

I feel like I should just become this new person, or I have to just to make
my life make sense or for someone to like me &/or deal with me.
Maybe if I have a little money everything will be alright..
Everyday I've tried to pray for a miracle to god.
and it seems like he has me on hold..just like everyone else.
I feel ready to die , hell or heaven .
I don't wanna live no more.

 

"It does not take much strength to do things, but it requires great strength to decide what to do"

I bet you know what you need to do, because you know what you want in life.

Pick the first happy thing on your list and get to work.

Don't expect fast results, stay focused, and any goal will be met.

It will be beautiful.

 

Get a puppy

 

First off, Jay, I understand.
But...2nd, you are just a teenager and truly have a whole life ahead of you to experience...there WILL be trials and tribulations; but, there may also be great happiness and REASONS to live.
You mention God...I remember being a teenager and actually being angry with God...a whole lot of good that did me.
At least you do have an ex - many people (male or female) don't even have that. Perhaps your family is trying to be there the only way they know how; but, they just need you to tell them more.
You are right that you are the only one you should rely on. As a teenager, I learned (a hard way) that lesson. I also needed to learn it AGAIN (the hard way) as an adult. You just hang in there...and regardless of how many here think there is no God, I do...and I'll be praying for you that something happens for the good...that you'll know there ARE reasons to live.

 

I know that there are reasons to live , but I just don't want to anymore.
I've given everything my best shot in life from dreams to people I've cared about only to be crushed.
I'm just tired.
Like very , tired..

 

hi jay.a job will come evntually.don't let no one control you.they can't if you don't let them.control is not freedom!and ask yourself this, are friends that can so easily slip through your fingers really the kind a friends you'd like ta have resting on your palm?ya, you do have your own self.if you became a new person then you would'nt be you anymore.now that would really suck!the only person your life has ta make sense ta is you.! but life don't make sense anyway a lot a time,so thats normal anyway.what is it do you think that money could make right jay ?money is just a part of life,but it dose'nt make everything right.all of of the rightest things are free!an whos right anyway?one persons right can be another persons wrong.your probably feeling a bit deppressd .talk ta someone in your life to,like your doctor or someone.a problem shared is a problem halfed.its good ta talk!an the god guy your talkin' ta.well maybe its not that your on hold.maybe he's just being so quiet, cos he's so deeply listening to you ,that you think he's not there.onethings for sure jay.everytime the sun goes down,it always comes back up again.so maybe you could just hold off from not really wanting ta live anymore ,just in case ya miss the sun smlin' down on you when it rises again tomorrow!the sun is never really gone either.sometimes it's just hiding behind a cloud.hang in there jay,cos this world is a much more beautful place with beautiful people like you in it.an last but not least don't forget that..........jay_hasBeauty.:mickey: :grouphug: :sunny:

 

You're a great person , roamy
with great advice .
You gave me a little bit of hope.. :/-->

 

Hang in there!

 

please don't do anything rash. you're still quite young, things can turn around for you

if you are still thinking this way, you might also want to check out www.suicideforum.com or www.befrienders.org for a list of hotlines.

maybe meditate or do some exercise if you have some time on your hands

hope that things get better soon!

 

Depression is a tough road to deal with. Im sure you have more people that care about you than you think. Try to look for the good in things and best of luck to you.

 

Yes don't give up! Your clearly a good person..with some difficult times ahead. Just keep a cool mind and do anything impulsive. Think on it for a night and do one little thing everyday to improve your life - whether those changes have to take place inside of you or outside

 

and don't get back with your boyfriend..he sounds like a tool

 

confidence and vulnerability are usually the things that bring people closer to you...

you don't want people who will step over you, ignore you or try to control you, but you can probably find someone to listen to you or support you if you allow yourself to be a little more vulnerable, without expecting or demanding a certain response from them...being detached from their response can help you to find some confidence and it may encourage them to express how they feel for you in the best way they know how.

if you can't find anyone to share and be honest with you...that's okay too, spend time doing things for yourself. There must be something you like to do for yourself. Something that helps you feel good about yourself...focus on those things and build yourself up before trying again with those around you or meeting new people.

You can create or encourage a new side of yourself to come out...but you should do it for yourself. You're lucky that you see the motives of your boyfriend, there are lots of people who can't see the signs, so you have that to be gracious for, at the least... how can you use that to get you to the next step? Do you have insights on other people's motives & personalities? Maybe sharing your viewpoints with those around you could support a change in your life.

Good luck.

 

But, death is so final....

I have gone through similar situations like yourself and it sucks, it really does. But u gotta push through life jsut for the pleasure of living it. And when life isnt fun, u slap it and make it obey. Think of it, life is your's without u life isnt real. So wouldn't that mean that this is YOUR world?

And this is the secret. If everyone had this mindstate, Life would not only be a paradise but a wonderland of your own.

heaven, not hell.

 

im glad you feel hope jay.now do hold on really tight to that one.,cos hope is precious and free! :mickey:x

 

Don't think I'm not reading any of the comments , I am.
and Thank you everyone ,
'cause you didn't have to reply..
I wish I had more to say but I really don't , I'm just doing more reading & thinking than typing. 'Cause that's all I'm feeling to do right now.

 

I love Roamys and aesthetics posts.

As Roamy said, Jay has beauty,

and like aesthetic said, Jay has life.

 

I've dealt with very severe depression, and let me tell you. Suicide is NOT the way out. In fact, it's not a way out at all. It only leads to worse consequences, for those who you leave behind, and for the eternal existence of your soul. It's a LIE.

If you've ever taken psychedelics, they open you up to a lot of reality. After my last shroom trip in January, I became 100 % sure that suicide is not the way out. There's a lot of forces out there that our senses don't normally have access to, and suicide puts your soul at risk for an eternal chaos. Peace and love is the only way out.

Trust me, I've been in a psych ward. I kept obsessing over killing myself. I've been through the most deepest unbearable depression. I still have rough days sometimes, like today for example. I've felt alone, neglected. The guy who I thought was my brother/best friend lied and turned his back on me permanently over a month ago. (I still feel a scar from it.) But you know what? That same day, I bonded closer with another friend.

This past month I've met and talked to some great people. A couple weeks ago, I met a guy who straight up offered me free guitar lessons any day I please. And I've wanted to play guitar for the longest time, but always had doubts holding me back and didn't know how to approach it. Not only does he teach me guitar, but he's a good friend, too. And we talk a lot about music.

I'm not in college (besides one class I'm taking). I'm not good nor interested in math and science. I don't drive, and the jobs I tried getting didn't hire me. I'm pretty directionless in life.

But you know what? Along this journey we call "life", I've experienced a lot of signs and I feel like I just need to develop my talent and see where life takes me. But I need to make the effort, too. I can't just give up, or laze around. Then I'll get nowhere.

Try meeting people. Go to a non-denominational church. See where life takes you. You never know who you might meet just by getting up and doing something. If I can begin to see the pieces putting themselves together in my life, then anyone can. Please, hold on. You have to. I know it may seem like an eternity until things finally start coming together, but you'll be so grateful in the end.

And I know mainstream society doesn't agree with it, but if you feel smoking weed can help you get your drive back, then try it out. It certainly helps make me productive. In fact, the reason I wasted my entire day today was because I didn't smoke. Too many negative vibes inside me, and I just wasted time on the computer. I could have smoked, and finished some stuff for my class instead. Oh well, can't spend time on regrets.

Seriously, though, I thought I was different than everyone else. But I'm not. And you're not either. You're a unique individual, yes, but you're not any worse as a human being than anyone else.

God Bless You. I'll pray for you tonight. Peace and love!

 

Just like Rick Astley, we're never gonna give u up.

 

Hang in there, kid... You have your whole life in front of you and the world is your playground, just wait... You'll see.


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