Pregnant wife completely different personality

I need to complain because since I'm busy comforting her incessant crying and whining I obviously can't complain to her, the only person I'm around.

My wife used to love sex, she's super hot, and she had the most positive outlook of anyone I know, so sweet, happy, inteligent and fun.

Now all she does is whine, demand things, and cry. I know, I know, she's pregnant, she has an excuse, but that excuse doesn't change the fact that my life has gone from fun and sex with a lovely person to constantly waiting hand and foot on a person who never stops complaining or shows any gratitude. She's so whiny I can hardly remember what her normal voice sounds like, when I try to picture it I just hear this nasal shrill complaining voice.

It's not even about being pregnant, maybe it's hormones or something but she's been complaining about everything. Just recently she asked for a snack so I brought her some granola, which she usually loves, she told me she meant apricots then whined that I was wearing shoes, I took off my shoes and she whined that I didn't put them in the right spot. That despite that fact that I have taken over all cleaning and cooking. And when I say the complaining doesnt stop I mean from the minute I get in the door from work till well after we go to bed. I try to be comforting, but she just blames everything on me, which makes it hard to stay nice, and if I persist in trying to comfort her it doesn't help, it's like trying to carry someone on your back while they're punching you. When not pregnant she was a lot smarter and nicer than this, how am I going to put up with this for 5 more months?

And on top of that I've gone from getting sex daily to almost never, and she gets mad if I even try.

She's complaining that my keyboard clicking is annoying...

 

Dick in her mouth will shut her up..

 

Wow...you're marriage is not gunna last once she has the kid if you are whining this much about her when she's pregnant.

When the baby comes, plan on having sex once a month-at best.

Her hormones are going insane. Give the poor woman a break and try putting yourself in her shoes for a minute. She's dealing with a lot.

 

I am sympathetic, that's why I'm still being nice to her and venting about it elsewhere.

 

I know how she feels!

Being pregnant completely changes your personality, not only is your body flooded with all these crazy hormones but your senses and feelings are extremely heightened. What may seem a small issue to you, could be major in her eyes. It really is like a personality swap. And I hate to say this, but as a mum to a now 14 month old, I have only just gotten back to my normal self, the hormones don't magically disappear after birth, infact it takes 18 months for a womans body to go completely back to how it was before (not just physical body btw)..

But I understand your frustrations too, it was actually the opposite for me, I was the one wanting sex everyday and not getting it from my partner.

He was always stressed at me for being stressed at the world but being pregnant isn't easy, although it may be for some, for others it is a major change that really really effects the pregnant womans body. Just remember, right now, her body is catering for an always growing and learning baby, one that needs everything she has in order to survive.

Its hard but it passes eventually..

 

Mate just try and ride this wave with her.

Being pregnant really sucks, but once that baby is here don't expect things to instantly be normal, it takes about 6 months for hormones to get to pre-pregnancy state and if shes breastfeeding as well.........

It sucks but I can assure once you see that lil bub it'll melt your heart and you'll look at her differently.

 

They sell wives on the internet for people like you.

 

I am sure that you are not complaining because it is normal whininess and complaining associated with pregnancy, but more than that. Is this her first child? Maybe she is under the impression that it is the norm for women to act this way and so she is carrying it a little over board.

I have had 4 children and each pregnancy was different. There were times that things bothered me more than normal, especially in month 5 which for some reason was my "hostile" month during every pregnancy lol. and at the end when I was nesting, everything had to be perfect but I always did it myself, that was part of the nesting, I wanted the house MY way and noone else would be able to do it the way I wanted it.

Have you tried to explain to her that you are concerned that maybe her behavior isnt appropriate? I know, easier said than done but I am sure there is a way that you can approach her as kindly as possible and express your "concerns". Be advised that after the baby arrives, she could have post pardum depression and that is another story in itself. That is the time you want to be most delicate to her "feelings" because women have been known to be suicidal and homicidal at this time. It is serious, I went through it but not as bad as some, its so hard and you dont know why, you just know you are unhappy.

I hope it works out for you, have patience and be kind as much as you can. Oh, and saddle up with a dirty mag for a while. Having babies doesnt mean you will never have sex again. We have 4 children, have been married for years and have a great sex life, are still very attracted to one another and despite the fact he works more than 80 hours a week and I raise 4 kids and am a full time student, we still have more sex than any couple I know. Rabbits...best description I got.

 

Thanks MarleyMoon, your post was well thought out and comforting. I do realize that she isn't used to feeling this way, and I love her, I just wanted to whine a bit, hence posting in "the whiners", I wasn't expecting someone to actually make me feel a bit better and give me helpful insight, so thanks

 

no problem. pregnancy is a hard time for both parties involved. It will get easier and once that baby comes, nothing else will matter anyway

 

As a pregnant woman I think her behavior is outside the bounds of normal.

I'm not going to lie, I've done my share of whining. Pregnancy sucks. Its painful sometimes, and it takes over our entire bodies. There is a lot to whine and complain about. But I'm still me for the most part. I don't act like a crazy pregnant lady all the time. I'm still fun, I still joke and laugh with my boyfriend. Our relationship hasn't really changed, I just get on his nerves more often now lol.

I think you should talk to her, but tread lightly. Instead of making it seem like you're complaining about how she is now, make it seem like you're earnestly missing the way you both used to be with each other.

A couple of pointers before you have the dreaded talk: Make yourself an integral part of the pregnancy, instead of just acting like her servant, and she may respond differently. I don't really know what you've been doing so you may have tried some of these things: Offer her massages. Offer to rub lotion on her belly and breasts (this might even lead to sex.) Spend time with her baby bump. My boyfriend puts his hands on my bump all the time and he's constantly kissing my bump...and it annoys the crap out of me sometimes, as sweet as it is....I just don't always feel like being touched nowadays. But if I whine or complain about it he tells me "I'm trying to spend time with my son, leave me alone," and its just so damn sweet I can't be annoyed for long. Offer to take photos of her bump so your child will have pictures later on. If you do it naked that could also lead to sex lol. And take her out on dates as much as possible. This will help you spend quality time with her and has the added benefit of the fact that most people will behave themselves in public so you might actually be able to conversate, have fun, and hear her real voice again.

Most of all just be patient because being pregnant really isn't easy.

As far as sex goes, I didn't have much of a sex drive early on in the pregnancy. Once her hormones really kick in as the pregnancy progresses she might have much more of a sex drive. Keep your head up! no pun intended lol.

 

Whats up with all this advice??

Orison clearly had the best solution

 

This is the one that made me double take.

Lol, it'll get easier cos 2yr olds are so easy to handle.

 

Actually, there are some women who get extreme depression and discomfort during pregnancy. You haven't said how far along she is...things change drastically throughout pregnancy for most women...but I can distinctly remember how almost anything can cause you to feel discomfort during certain phases of pregnancy.

I would say though, it shouldn't all go on you to help her. She may have a hard time letting someone else in on this vulnerable time...but it would probably be extremely helpful if you guys could get more organized and add in some friends and family for support.

As for you and sex...yeah things are likely to change and go up and down several times during the pregnancy and afterwards. That's just the way it goes. If you really love her you're going to need to go with the flow.

You never really know what is going to happen or how things are going to change. It is all a process and there are so many variables, no one can really say what is normal. Post-partum depression is normal, but that doesn't mean you're not going to come in here whining about that and people will tell you her behavior is beyond normal...then you approach her with your wants and expectations and things really blow up.

I would suggest getting more education about pregnancy and birth...and steer away from fear-based teachings and on techniques for prevention and coping instead. Maybe your wife needs some good education about it too. Being stressed and nervous about it could have her paralyzed in a state of constant fear. Getting the right resources is absolutely essential. Pregnancy can be enjoyable, as can birth, as can the postpartum period, as can raising a 2 year old and up... you just need to look at actions that can improve your situation and that usually comes with further education.

 

It gets worse when the kid pops out ENJOY!!

You have to learn A LOT of patience. You know your girl is going through a lot you just have to treat them the best you can if you wanna be a good dad. Its gets harder when she gives birth every minute of your life is devoted to your child. You dont sleep the same you dont eat the same.. so enjoy what you got now.

 

Your wife isn't coming back. Becoming pregnant rewires her persoanlity and hormones. She is not the person you meet, and when she sees that you want to "go back to how things were before" she is going to get very aggravated and upset with you. In other words it will become your problem that you did not change. Your problem you did not have this shift in hormones because nothing grew in you. You have become the immature asshole who does not get it.

It's a sad fact, but most couples (especially the men side) are never happy after children. They always want to return the beginning days of the relationship when there were no kids so the women put all her love and attention on him.

Your number two now, she is wired to make the kid number one. And if it comes down to it, you will be on the curb before the kid will be.

It really makes you question monogamy. The men is not supposed to stick around, and the way the women acts, and the way he wants to act show this. He is supposed to go fuck like an ape.

Of course you not an ape, do you really love her even knowing she will not love you in the same way now? She does care probably but like I said she can't help but put on the back burner now. Think of how you mom loved you? same thing going on, it's an intense thing.

 

Women go through a lot being pregnant, and no, it doesn't just go away immediately afterward. There are a lot of sleepless nights coming your way, but babies grow up fast. Your child will be worth it, and remember that you are new at this, too.
And the sex, go jerk off for heaven's sake. Sometimes it hurts during pregnancy.

Try asking her what she wants when she says she wants a snack. When I was pregnant certain smells and tastes were really off for me. If she normally likes granola, she may hate it for awhile.

Nonsense.
We all grow and change as we learn, but to say that his wife "isn't coming back " is silly.
Telling him that he should be jealous of a helpless infant is also nice advice. This child will be important to him as well.

Is the mother just supposed to throw the baby in a closet so she can wait on a grown man? She's going to be busy, but he can certainly help.

 

There's some really good advice here. That said, you can't go on as if you're walking on eggshells. It will suck the love right out of the whole relationship. I can imagine the level of frustration you must feel.

Besides the noted reasons for her discomfort, she may just feel very unattractive. That alone can make a woman miserable, especially if she has no way of controlling the emotion. She might "know" she's not herself and dislike herself even more!

If your lucky, it will be temporary. I would still have a conversation with her and explain what her mood is doing to you. A relationship between two people has to involve both parties if it's going to work.

Good luck and please post here now and again to keep us up-to-date on how things are going. Congratulations on the new baby!