Ego crisis...is he out of my league?

I don't have to be the hotter one- I was just used to the idea that I was for the past two years and to think that I might not be kind of shook me up for a minute. It's definitely not a deal breaker because I love and trust him. Something as stupid as this would never be the end of us, it's just part of my insecurity that I have to deal with.

And like I said several times already, I was NEVER worried about him cheating. But thanks for taking one piece of what I said and blowing it out of proportion.

 

Well, YOUR insecurities have absolutely nothing to do with him. Why don't you take responsibility for your own mental well-being and not have to have "talks" with your bf every time? C'mon now.

lol clearly you do. Shut up, shut up, shut up! And just enjoy your 'hot' boyfriend. I personally think that's also terrible you would need such validation.

 

Glad you two talked it out

Also I'm not so sure that's selfish... not really sure what to call it, but we all need a person or place we can feel comfortable with and who can recharge our emotional batteries around, especially if you an extrovert like me.

 

Not sure where the heck all that came from... there is nothing wrong with talking things out, even if it is your insecurity that is the issue. Talking things out and confirming each other is what relationships are about.

And if you don't like it stop reading the thread... she started it, let her say what she wants.

 

"let's have a talk because I am concerned I'm not hotter than you?"


Because of 3 or 5 comments someone else said?

You're not sure where that came from? :|

 

From the OP it sounds like this girl was gushing, over everyone.

While we could analyze this other girl, but the question was if the OP was out of her league.

It sounds like the boyfriend doesn't think so.

What is a "talk it out" going to sound like to the BF.
He'll probably hear his girlfriend "You are so good. Tell me I'm pretty. Tell me I'm prettier than your best friend's girl."

What is this "talk it out" desire that women have? The guy has done nothing, said nothing, suddenly the girlfriend demands "I'm insecure. Tell me I'm wrong about that. Talk to me so I'll know that I'm too insecure." Huhhh... "Convince me that I'm wrong."?

 

Thank you.

 

Because only women do this? Being in a relationship means sometimes stroking your significant other's ego. I've done it for him a lot and I never bullshitted him by saying things that weren't true. Just because I want to hear how awesome I am to make me feel better sometimes, that doesn't make me a bad person or selfish. There have been times he was down on himself as well and what did I do? Exactly what he does for me, telling him he's a great guy and handsome as hell. There's nothing wrong with that so don't come on here with your righteous bullshit and try to tell me I'm some stereotypical woman.

 

maybe your boyfriend's also a stereotypical woman.

 

I don't like people who live to please their ego. Especially those who jump the gun over something as simple as this. I would much rather help people that understand it's living through their ego and working hard on at their own true identity that's living.

 

I don't like people who think they're better than everyone else because they never had a self esteem problem.

 

How do you know that isn't why they think they're better; as a defense mechanism?

 

I know this type of girl. I'm sure she's annoying as shit but that seems to be besides the point here.

What really jumps out at me is not that you're annoyed by this girl but that you're insecure she thinks you're not as funny/cute/talented as your boyfriend.

You should be proud of your boyfriend! He's such a great guy that other people notice and compliment him on it. And he loves you and chooses to be with you. This should be an ego boost for you

 

I am very proud of my boyfriend. You people are ridiculous. I think he's wonderful and never said otherwise. The only thing I did say is that he's not a great singer.

It's awkward and annoying when someone is complimenting someone nonstop and they don't think "Hey let me not look like an ass and compliment the other person here"

 

I know how you feel generally speaking, but I've learned that you can't really expect someone to read social cues because there are variations on how those same behaviors come across especially if two individuals are from different cultures.

If I were you, I'd just tell the person that they're compliments were sweet at first and they probably mean well but that over complimenting comes across as patronizing or possibly sarcastic.
Also I expect to encounter more and more socially awkward people as high functioning autism rates keep rising.

 

I think you need to outsmart her. Yes, she is being covertly rude because she is manipulative and an ass. Don't do yourself a disservice by being affected by her disapproval or approval of your bf and consequently you. She's just one voice making herself into something much larger.

In putting myself into that scenario, I would turn to her and suggest she might have her ears examined. Then put a gentle hand on your bf, and say "no offense dear, but keep your day job".

 

You're several pages deep into a thread you created in order to complain because some girl won't pay you and your boyfriend an equal amount of compliments and we're the ridiculous ones?

 

Each person that isn't giving anything constructive to go on, yes. It's easy to make something that bothers someone sound ridiculous. I hope your boyfriend doesn't do the same to you.

 

What? Do you know the difference between a genuine compliment and flattery? "Stroking your significant other's ego" is flattery, flattery by definition is a manipulative and deceptive behavior - no matter how altruistic the intention. Yes.

Being in a relationship means respecting the person you're in a relationship enough to be honest with them. Let's say your boyfriend really thinks you're really average looking, but he lies to you, again and again, telling you that you're wasting your life by not persuing a career as a super model. How trustworthy does your boyfriend seem to you in this light?
Does he seem sweet? Or condescending? Let me tell you as secret . . . the secret to a fulfilling and lasting relationship is trust, honesty and faithfulness. It's not about preserving or enhancing your self-esteem. If you rely on other people to measure your own self worth, you will always come up short.

 

He does, and thank god for it. It keeps me from taking myself too seriously.

Most "problems" in life are a bit ridiculous in the grand scheme of things