I wanna tell people that im gay, but im afraid.

Im living in Turkey, istanbul. my parents are more civilizied and modern then most turks. but still im afraid to tell them. one of my friend found my gay picture on google by searching my common nickname. and he asked "is this you on this web site?" and i was shocked, because he was my best friend... he told me when did this happen? why didnt i tell him? how i become like this?...

i was afraid to lose him, but he was just terrified and i kept saying dunno what to do with me anymore... our jokes with he and other are based on sexuality, and he said "how did u do these jokes??" i said i was thinking same thing what u thought! i wasnt even imagining something else, i can be anyone like straight, and im feeling okay with this feeling. he said that this is unnatural and unaccaptable. and then he never wanted to talk about this issue and said cya. i wonder what must i do when we meet again? i mean i could act like nothing happened -which i am good at this-.

on the other hand, i am a brave person, i want people to know that i am gay, but im no fool, i dont wanna lose my friend and parent just to let them know im gay... when i was 15, my acting was noticed by my mother, and he asked my gently "are you homosexual? if you feel that way its okay, WE CAN SOLVE THIS PROBLEM?" i was feeling but i wasnt sure and i was afraid so i didnt tell her something about her, because she thought this is a PROBLEM(!) so she would try to change me expect accepting me like this...

i mean im watching some movies and tv series, like desperate housewives... and gays are respected there and they are hiding anything... they adopt kids, they kiss in public and other people feel happy for them... not sorry or discusting. i also hate some gays, which are dressed like bitches or lady gaga, i just wanna be myself and live my life.

sometimes i wanna go spain, because i like spanish people so much and gay are respected, but at the other hand, i dont wanna leave my country, i wanna fix it!

 

Unfortunately, a gay person will most certainly run into these kinds of people. Folks have their own ideas, and they don't always agree with your views. And sometimes there is no way to change their minds about it. Even in the most liberal of places. You have to do what you feel is best for you.
Personally, if I felt that my life would be threatened because of where I live, then I would consider moving. Then I would see what I can do to help others in the same situation. I commend your bravery, and if you can help out your fellow man, that is awesome, but there is not anything wrong with keeping yourself safe as well. You can't help anyone if you need the help yourself.
As for your mother, I can only hope that she will be able to accept you for who you are. I had the same problem with my dad. He did finally come to accept me for who I am, and that I am still the same person before I told him I was gay.

I wish you all the best.

 

I wouldn't tell anyone but I'm not the kind of person that makes a difference so what do I know. But I always consider who I'm sleeping with to be my business and I just live my life for me and to make me happy so just make sure what ur doing is making u happy and then decide. Life is too short to spend it afraid or unhappy.