I don't understand (LDR) Opinions Please

For starters this is not a thread about me being depressed and confused about my sexuality. I'm a 19 year old lesbian who came out of the closet exactly one year ago. So about 2 weeks after I came out, I was introduced to an older women by some mutual friends who no longer live near me. She lives in Texas and I live in Pennsylvania. She is 24 years old, so 6 year difference not a big deal. She came onto me first and I was nervous because I have never been with a woman yet and but we started to learn more about each other and really fast I fell in love with her. I couldn't control my feelings for her but I knew my feelings were genuine because I never felt that way for anyone ever. So after getting to know each other we just coined ourselves a couple. Even though it was long distance we texted everyday throughout and things went so fast. She is my best friend and more. I send her flowers almost every month to show her how much I care. I buy her things left and right and send them to her. I bought her jewelry from zales, kay, and more. I make 7.25 an hour and Im in college and I spent every dime on her basically because I wanted her to no that I would do my all to show her she is a priority and I love her with all I have. So that being said. She never once wrote me a letter, and I sent about 6 or more. Never once bought me flowers, and I am the one who always initiates conversation. She sent out my christmas and valentines gifts 2 months ago. I'm not materialistic at all but it would be nice to feel important sometimes. I am the one who always initiates conversations and we only talk on the phone when its on her terms. Everytime she calls I answer but when I do I never get a response. We were talking about seeing each other this summer. She told me no matter what we would. I told her I would do my all to get the money to buy a plane ticket and I did. I finally got the money and when I told her I need to buy the ticket and she needs to pick dates she just told me that she is so sorry but don't come. I was heart broken...she then said maybe we should be friends. Then goes on a rant saying she loves me and noone has ever treated her the way I do. She said I am the sweetest person she has ever been with, nobody is willing to move for her like I am, nobody loved or supported her like I do. She then says I am everything she dreamed of and wants. She just doesnt understand why she feels this way. She said maybe it was because we havent spent time together but I was trying to change that and I thought it was what she wanted thats why I did my all to get the money. So she broke up with me. What I don't understand is how can you say I'm perfect for you but then just break my heart like that. Knowing I invested everything into her and I made a lot of sacrifices (friends and family wise) and I just get dumped out of nowhere. I was blind sided. I cry everyday and it is just so hard. I feel like I lost everything and I can't help but love her more and more each day. I'll text her and say I love and miss her and then she will say she loves and misses me too...I just don't understand. I treat her like gold and I just feel like I was kicked to the curb. I always ask her how she is and do you think she asks me? no...it just hurts

 

Aww thats heartbreaking, i really feel for you :/ have you tried just asking her why she treats you like that even though she thinks you're perfect for her? Maybe she's been hurt in the past and doesn't want another relationship, or isn't comfortable with the distance....
Whatever happens I hope it works out for you <3

 

I did before, and she just says sorry. However, I'm the one always beating myself up and saying sorry to her, even if I really didnt do anything. She emailed me two days ago and said "I really miss talking to you"...Im just so lost. Thank you, I pray it works out too...

 

Sounds like she needs to be told to either lay off and leave you be or at least give you her reasons for what she did
It's not fair for her to leave you all confused in limbo not knowing what she wants, and you need to tell her that
If she's saying sorry all the time well...I don't know, that makes her sound like maybe she's not got the best self esteem and stuff and maybe she just found the long distance thing hard
I know I would, and I struggle to get gifts all the time and remember to write and stuff because I'm not a very organised person and I'd feel so shit in myself for not being able to give the other person what they want
Sounds to me like she might need someone to sort of...kick her up the backside so to speak
If I were in your shoes I'd get on a plane and see her anyway. Things are much better in person and then you can turn up all like
Hey look I'm here
So either break up with me properly or admit you still want to go out with me and just do it.
But then I'm hardly the model citizen of the world xD

 

Hey..I've been where you are. The only thing different was that we were living together and my ex still managed to switch between hot and cold. My experience with this was not good and I realised that my ex was basically too emotionally stunted for me to waste any more time with her. And I realised this after being with her for 3 years and living with her more than 2 years. I can be a little slow on the updtake
I would tell you to give up, I know its not something you want to do. But if she can't make up her mind, then show her you have better things to do then sit and pine for her.

 

Just a few words of advice real love are shown in action not in words alone. Tell it to her. Precious people have to be treasured and not thrown into junk. Gud luck

 

I was in your same situation when i was 19. She was also my first love, which makes the pain even worse. I feel like when you date someone older like that, it is common that they take advantage of you. I know that's what happened in my case. You need to cut contact with her. Only time away from her will heal your broken heart. Talking to friends might help. But i would definitely tell her to leave you the hell alone. You deserve better find someone worth your time who shows you the same feelings you have toward them. Any questions, feel free to ask