"Escaping Reality" part two (My DXM Trip)

Later on after what happened in part one, I became more familiar with drug use and did some research on DXM. I heard that it's a better trip by far than Diph, and there are different plateaus of the high, I also read some experiences and it sounded interesting. I wanted to try it once with a friend to find out for myself.

I was with my friend, let's call him Jack. We met up in town and went to the store and bought some DXM pills from the dollar tree, 4 small boxes of them, as well as some food and stuff. After that we sat in a grass field not far from the store, we opened the pills. i took 8 of them for my starting dose. he also took 8, but had more before we met that day.

At this point i wasnt really feeling different, except I felt a bit enlightened in my mind, i was no longer worried about all of my issues going on, and i felt peaceful. After a little while I was like, hey lets go to ur camp (he lives in a tent a little aways from town). So we walked there.

The walk felt like a dream. Wasn't really hallucinating but I felt a little disconnected from reality. When I was walking, I didn't feel like I was doing it...like my legs were moving on their own. I felt numb...a good kind of numb..and my mind was running with all these crazy things that didn't make sense, but they were fascinating. I was enjoying my DXM experience so far.

Then, we got to his camp. We layed on some sleeping bags, chilled out, i talked with Jack about how amazing the high feels, and how thankful i am for life. It was a good talk though it's hard to remember everything we said. Then we opened more of the pills, they were in sheets and i think 8 of the pills were in each sheet. One pill was 50 mg.

We shared a couple sheets together. He was like "are you sure you're ready to trip?"
i said yes, and all together I took about 20, taking them one at a time though. I don't know how many he took but he was helping me finish the sheets.

I meditated for a while cuz I felt so enlightened still. But suddenly when I closed my eyes, I had the feeling that my arms and legs were stretching and curling, so I opened them and reminded myself "you're just tripping."

then i saw a dog. I asked jack, did you see that dog, what was that? and he said "yeah that will happen." We made out a little bit but no sex, I didnt want to have sex with him and i made sure he knew that. i kept saying "we're not gonna have sex. did we have sex?" my voice was slurred and weird it was so hard to talk and understand anything.

Then i felt like the ground beneath us was moving. I was like "Jack...are we going somewhere?" he nodded. "yeah, we are."

i felt like we were moving in a car, even though my surroundings were clear i still felt like i was dreaming. a lot of close eyed visuals, the more i kept them closed the more i felt my body stretching at odd lengths. i saw a lot of colors, everything was kind of brighter but weird looking. my whole body felt heavy, similar to when you get high on Diph, except it was much more soothing and enjoyable.

At last I knew i had to get back to town. we were not far away it only took us 20 minutes to get there and we could see the cars from far away. We were walking and damn, i felt like a baby learning to walk. my footing was off and i kept falling on the ground...but for some reason i liked the feeling of falling. it felt like i was becoming a part of the earth or something, and it felt like a cloud to lay on.

After falling and walking in circles for god knows how long, i looked behind me and Jack was far away. he was just watching me as i continued to trip and fall over dry grass. Suddenly i didnt want him to be with me anymore. i said "Jack..I am alone. and i have to go back." somehow he just disapeared, he might have went back to his camp, that asshole he should have tried to help me part way to town.

I was completely lost. I felt like a child born into a new world, and it only made sense to me to randomly walk around and enjoy my crazy thoughts. my imagination was running wild. at this point i was hallucinating a lot, my world had lots of colors in it, and it was spinning, i couldn't even see straight anymore. i was seeing double.

even though i was lost, i wasnt worried. i had this weird confidence in me i was like i know i can make it back. someone tried to call me and i was so confused, dont remember much of what i said. after that i saw that i was standing on this dirt and rock hill, and down the hill lead to the freeway where the cars were driving by.

i tried to climb down it, because when i looked around, it looked like i had no where else to go. i lost feeling in my body and i lost the ability to feel pain. whenever i fell again, i said "Wait...I'm not dreaming. i have a life. i need to get home." my feet felt like nothing and i tired of walking, so i just sat on the hill and slid down, tellin myself that it wont hurt much if i pretend it's a slide. it didn't feel like it hurt and i was having fun going down it. a few cars honked at me it was obvious i wasnt in the right mind.

i got up and recovered quickly. i crossed the street, waving my arms around cuz there were so many cars and i didnt want them to hit me. i wanted to touch one though, but i didnt. then i kept walking...it felt like a daze to do that, and finally i met up with a group of friends who met me a while back. i told em i was trippin and i needed someone to walk me home, they could totally tell i was, i tried to talk and couldnt explain shit.

one of my friends walked with me. i held his hand because i was feeling pain again, and i had severely bruised my foot from all of the times that i fell. i was limping. there was a police car driving by, he stopped near us and surprisingly i wasnt scared of getting busted. he talked to me, i had no idea what he said, and i was like "I'm just walkin home, im almost there, see you later." i kept walking while my friend was talkin to the police guy. he probably said that i hurt my foot in an acident which is why i was limping. the police got in his car and drove off, and my friend caught up with me.

I got to my friends house cuz i was still trippin and didnt want to go home like that. Let's call him Dustin. He knew i was trippin too, he saw me stumbling and my speech was weird, and i tried to explain him stuff but i couldnt. i kept asking if im a bad person, cuz i sure as hell felt like it. i had burs all over my back from falling, Dustin picked them off of me.

my bff called me on the phone. i answered. she was crying cuz her bf dumped her, but i was so confused at what she was saying i was like "wait...im really high....what? im not home right now...i dont know, what's going on?" i overannunciated my words and she just hung up on me and texted "im done being there for you." i was confused, drunkenly texted her back "hey im sorry." she txted "k."

then i called my mom to let her know i was on my way home. she asked me if i was ok and i needed to come home. again i overannunciated my words, talking so loudly, saying "yeah....i think i can come home right now. yeeaahh i'm fiiinnne. ok...."

my foot hurt so bad at this point. i needed dustin to help me walk. he kept asking "do you need my mom to give you a ride?" i asked "why my house is just over there."

i ran into my friend Karen, i gave her a long hug and said im trippin and a whole bunch of shit. all i remember her saying was "it's ok" but she said other stuff too. i also ran into this veteran guy in a wheelchair who always lends me cigarettes. i was like "hey you" *points at him* another guy looked at me and i said "not you, you. can i have a cigarette?"
he said he was out and i said "ok..sorry....well you guys have a nice day"

i looked like i got beat up and gang raped from all the times i fell. worst trip ever i was so stupid. then i got home and mom knew i was on something. everything looked blurry. i said hi to the family and then crashed into my bed, stumbling as i walked. she barged into my room and kept asking me what i did. i told her DXM. she demanded me to tell the story of what i really did today. i told her, including the times i fell and when i went down a hill and i was chillin with a homeless guy. she was pissed cuz i told her i wouldnt do shit like this again.

i told her "let me sleep, we'll talk tomorrow."
"no we're taking you to the hospital."

so that's what went down. i was sitting in the car, i saw my little bro, at first he looked like some kind of animal with a long nose and it startled me at first. i was like "what r u doing here?"
"leave him alone." mom said.

got to the hospital, got my blood checked, my urine checked, my heart and a few other things to make sure i was fine. i was told that an effect that DXM gives when you sleep is that you might forget to breath. i was like...."fuck...look at me im just layin here and im breathin." i thought it was dumb that they took me to the hospital and while i was high it was amusing. it was bad, i know.

doctors asked me so many questions, including why i did what i did, how much mg, how long ago, etc etc. i layed in the hospital bed in a gown, i looked at my foot it was hella swollen. it hurt so bad to walk on it i was worried it was broken. they did an x ray on it and its not broken or sprained. just badly hurt and bruised and swelling.

mom explained to me how much i hurt her for what i did. i was a liar and i felt so bad i kept saying "its all my fault its all my fault" "i dont know how to live this life" and it got really depressing. i still opened my eyes and saw people with 4 eyes and 2 noses. when they talked it was so hard to pay attention. mom mentioned how i sounded like a naive little girl, like a child. that's exactly how i felt, a curious child in a colorful dream.

finally we got home. mom helped me up the stairs, she also helped me bathe cuz i was still so out of it and couldnt stand on my foot. i got to bed, slept, and the next day was terrible. isolated, everything taken away, not able to do shit. later on my mom and i fought so much more she found out all the times i lied, and things just kept getting worse and worse. the next day she was like "if u want to move out make your decision today."

so...i made my decision. i couldnt stay there anymore, it's a whole new topic to get into but i was causing my family so many problems and just being there was the root of a lot of my issues. as soon as i walked out the door, i didnt look back. she told me i could never come back either, it's a done deal if i leave. to me it sounded like she wanted me to leave, but as soon as i said it she tried to convince me to stay. it didnt work. i left and im at a friends house now.

i want to get my life together now that im away from all that BS. dont wanna fuck with pills or hard drugs, im gonna be looking to get a job, a licence to drive, and stuff like that. after that experience i thought of how scary it was to not be in control of myself like that, falling and having fun, feeling like i was ok when i wasnt....it was just crazy. i smoked a bowl with my new roomates last night (yesterday was wen i moved in), and thats when the emotions hit me hard and i learned my lesson for real. i dont want to hurt myself like that again. i want to start living a better life where im more secure with myself and the people/things i'm around. i want to cherish life again, not loathe it and try to escape reality like i have been.

it's only been day one and i already feel at home here.

 

Jesus christ you're stupid with drugs.

I guess that's usually a side effect of being stupid. You obviously have some serious self-improvement work to do.

 

yes i am stupid. that's why ive decided not to do that stuff until im more mature, in your language, not stupid. i learned my lesson

 

Did the whole city found out you were tripping? JESUS...next time you do DXM, do it at your or your friends' house.

 

DXM is generally best served after the sun goes down, and as others have said, when you can just chill somewhere and not have to worry. You should never take DXM when you have to go back to your parents house or be stuck walking around in public.

That's probably one of the smarter choices you made, though.

DXM acts strongly on serotonin, among other mechanisms of action. You mentioned in another post you are currently taking Zoloft, which is... yes, an SSRI.

You ever heard of serotonin syndrome?

Use your head.

 

actually not a lot of ppl knew, only the handful of ppl i ran into. yeah i gotta use my head, serotonin syndrome and all of that, ive been doing lots of research since this happened, and it was pretty fucking stupid of me. but hey i got smarter by doing something stupid, i learned from it and im not gonna touch drugs like that again till i am able to control myself better and im in a safe place where its no worry. i moved out so ill be able to do it, but id wait for a while. as for the serotonin syndrome, i'd like to read more on that, i know about it, ill definitely use my head and not decide to trip unless i know im safe to do so.

 

im glad u were safe in the end sweetie, if u eva need someone to talk to i'm here. Reminds me of the last time I did DXM and was taken to the hospital by my mom n yeah.. weird shit. I learned that I needed to get my life stable before I alter my mind. I feel u and I send good vibes xx