Hi, I have been with the same man for a long while and he and I have both known that we were different people in bed. Now he says he is unhappy and it stems to the less-than-freaky sex. Now, I love him dearly and I don't want to say anything bad about him but he doesn't last very long in bed (at least not for me) to do all the things that he says he wants to do. I'm down with a few things but no threesomes with other men or women. Its also hard because I feel that he expects me to know what he wants and how to be a freak like it's genetic but i don't have a clue and he doesn't tell me. I thought i was being freaky when i let him do anal and i do oral. But when i ask for sex a certain way that he doesn't like he gets mad and says i make HIM feel inadequate. He has compared me to his super freaky ex girlfriend which shattered me, and made me feel inadequate too. I have always felt that I have to compete with her and the girls in pornos. and I am so lost and hurt now. What am i to do when i don't even know exactly what definition of freak that he expects. Please help.
No communication, comparing you to other women, high expectations with no regard for your wants or needs...sounds like a dud to me. Dump him. If he can't please you, why should you bend over backwards for his pleasure?
I assume you've communicated all these things to him? If not, do so. If not, maybe counseling is in order. Ultimately, you have to talk to each other. Talking to strangers (e.g., here) isn't likely to solve the problem. If he's unwilling to talk, or to go to counseling with you, then you have a hard decision to make as to whether he's worth staying with when he makes you feel so bad.
Ok let me be honest. He has told me before that he was unhappy. I have done what i thought would make things work. The problem is me i think. Im afraid that if i dont do it right or be perfect or have enough time to do all that we both want, he wont be satisfied. Maybe im the problem.
no, you're not. relationships have to work both ways. if one person if the one setting all of the rules, then it isn't functioning correctly. a good, healthy relationship is one where there is constant communication between equal partners about what is best for both of you. sometimes it means giving a little ground for the sake of compromise, but it shouldn't be completely one sided.
Sounds pretty bad. When your partner is not satisfied with you, he/she will look for that satisfaction elsewhere, usually. Sometimes without first breaking up with you. Hope that doesn't sound too depressing, but this is something I've witnessed time and time again, and which also has happened to me. I wish you luck.
Does he know that you have a prob with his timing? Did you try to randomly spice things up? Is it crossing the line askin what exactly you dont do compared to his ex gf? You have the right to set your own boundaries,tell him no periodically. Sadly, your dude sounds like a turd. You let him do it in your ass, lucky ass mofo. If you feel he doesnt appreciate you, you may have to look for a new BF.
Girl it's time to go deep sea fishing! It sounds like you have hella of fine bait. If I were into females I would snatch that bait before it hit the water. It's definitely not you
The problem is not you at all! You are givimg him things lots of others would not. He is not giving you what you need. He sounds selfish and is a rude prick bringing up past lovers. No matter what you think you deserve better then this loser.
