Married or De-Facto (are you happy)

hi, just curious to see how many of you members are married, or in a long term de-facto relationship, and if so,

1. are you happy with your marriage/arrangement, and why ???
2. are you not happy with your marriage/arrangement, and why ???

seems to be a lot of people posting but hardly ever see anyone mention their partner, and maybe i notice it more because i often talk about my partner in many of my posts.

lets see where this goes.

Please Note: this thread is for those members who are in an active relationship where they share their home with their wife or a de-facto partner, so singles please refrain from posting, or your posts will be reported for removal

 

I'm not married. Too young. But when I'm older I'd love to be. Marriage is beautiful.

 

I'm happily married for 4 months!

 

thx for the few posts so far, i made this thread ages ago and didnt think i was gunna get any replies.

it seems to me that plain jane threads like this dont attract any interest, so im not going to bother posting any more, unless its about a topic that is way out there and one that will attract lots of attention.

my other thread about my wife never having had sex with another man has no replies either

cheers

 

It's because you are new!
You gotta gain credibility around here. People take this place seriously!

 

You don't say!

 

lol ages ago. you made it 3 days ago.

 

Married almost 19 years, been together for about 21.

Am I happy, yes
Am I unhappy, yes

been married for almost 20 friggin years now, of course it's going to be a mix of happy-unhappy.


p.s. trying to put a restriction on who can post in a thread is really just asking for all the people who don't want to post to post in your thread.

 

I do - I do say!


20 years? I can certainly imagine there would be good times and bad!

Do you find that after so many years, the loyalty kicks in and you could never see yourself breaking up? (From one newly wed to a more experienced married person)

 

No, there is always the possibility of our lives going in different directions, but there is a loyalty there for sure.
Raising kids together has a lot to do with staying together and making it work even through the really rough spots.
The biggest difference between my relationship of 20+ years and yours is we have long moved past the warm squishy lovey-dovey romantic bullshit and have moved on to the real meat and potatoes type of love between couples that stands up against all the bullshit that life throws ya. The real test of any relationship is how well you cope with it when all those "in love" warm cozies dissipate, because they will.
I may sound pessimistic but it really is simple biology. In a new relationship our bodies produce certain hormones and neurotransmitters to enhance and strengthen the bond between a couple because that helps ensure mating and offspring and both partners hanging around to raise the kid. But those chemicals don't continue forever.

 

We have an open marriage which turned into an in-house separation.

I could be happier.

 

De-facto/married 7 years +. Back in the '70s we had an on&off relationship her being with Morning Star/Wheelers rural commune/s and
i being with Good Earth Commune in the Haight. (in reality it was hard to separate the families) in '76 or so Rita took off to attend a Ranbow gathering and for almost 30 years nobody heard from her until one day I saw where she had left a message for a Good Earth sister (Shameless_hefer) on the Diggers web page. I got in touch and we've together since.

Happy/Happy/sad

 

We're having a baby together. We live together. We might as well be married but neither of us give a damn about marriage so we probably won't get married unless it's for a practical reason like being able to add him to my health insurance.

We are happy. We're young, working on creating a home, and waiting on a baby. It's a very happy time.

My boyfriend is a romantic. He thinks the sweetest thing in the world would be if we stayed together for the rest of our lives.

I'm more of a realist. I know life long relationships take a lot of work and compromise, and even then there is no guarantee.

 

well, you told people not to post in this thread.

actually, that usually results in lots of angry "don't tell me what to do" posts. so maybe it is the plain jane nature of the thread.

 

Not married yet. Been with my boyfriend for two years now, we moved in together 6 months ago.

We're struggling financially but we're happy together. If things can be this good in hard times, it'd be perfection when we get our shit together.

 

No, never been married.
Had a number of reasonable relationships (3-4 years) but there was always something missing.

ATM I am not in a relationship, although I do have an occasional sex-life with another gal approx in my situation.

Am I happy - Yes.

 

the thread was intended for married people, or those in a de-facto relationship where they both share the same home.

i did that to save on singles posting up stuff that would be irrelevant.

it seems a few posters may have been married, or had been in a relationship in the past, so they posted, so its all good.

well 3 days is ages to me

i sometimes feel this with my marriage, even tho overall its a dam good relationship compared to many others, and i cannot ever see myself with anyone else after all these years together, and even if things did get bad between us, i still think i would stick it out rather than having to start all over again.

that may not be a fair way of looking at it, but i think my wife would also have the same thoughts, and it would be harder on her if we drifted apart because she was 27 and a virgin when we got married 22 years ago, and her experience with other men is zero (that was the topic of my other thread that had no replies)

we often have my daughters friends over on weekends to sleepover, and most of them come from busted homes, or their parents still live together but live out totally different lives, and those kids find it strange to sit at a dinner table with a family like ours to eat meals and watch tv etc because its something strange to them.

 

That is an awesomely sweet story, Ranger! :love:

 

Yep, I'm married. Twelve years. We were together for a number of year before we got married in a weird kind of way.

I don't know how to say. My husband was guardian to me and my twin brother and 10 years younger sister. It's complicated to say the least. Or it was complicated. Not no more.

He's 30 years older. We were really really happy after I got it in his head he wasn't too old for me and he let me have my way with him - he fought it pretty hard.

But, my husband put all of us through schooling as far as we wanted to take it(I didn't graduate from university nor did my twin, but my little sister just graduated university - we are so proud of her).

The sad part is we were never able to have children ( sadder for me more than him ).

Now my husband it getting older things are a bit tough (I'm 35 and he's 65 now) his health is pretty good but I see the signs - but I'm getting older too.

I'm committed, he's committed - I'd never leave him, he'd never leave me.

We have our happy days and then we have not so happy days.

It's all just normal long term relationship crap.

Lately, we are doing really good and all is as it should be.

I want to say - this has been a very hard reveal for me. I know many people will go EWWW - the 3 decade age difference puts a lot of people off. It is what it is.

 

same with me when i was 33/34 i was set up by my 23 y/o house mate with one of her friends from college on a blind date because i loved redheads, and hadnt had a g/f for a few months.

my housemate picked this girl up for our date, and she was only just 18y/o and i found myself a bit on the outer because of the stigma attached with this sort of age difference between a teen girl and an older guy (15 years in my case)

we dated for 1 year, she lived with us in the house for 6 months during that time (she shared my room with me) but we did our own thing, there were no strings attached, although we only slept with each other.

we got some really wierd reactions from a lot of people when we were together, but after a while, it just goes over your head and we stopped worrying about it.

it would have been a different story if she was 30 and i was 45 tho