I've been trying to find friends online for quite sometime now... I've posted a few times on here and a few other forums... The thing is, I'm engaged so I'm not looking for hook ups, to swap pics or anything like that, I'm only looking for friends to chat with. Everytime someone says they are cool with chatting they always seem to turn it to sex and ask for pics or to cam and then the convo ends... For example, I was chatting with a local guy, (he was about 45 min from me), we were going to meet up for coffee and chat, we had a ton in common and things were going well, I was excited to have someone besides my guy to talk to and I was looking forward to hanging out... he then decided he wanted to distroy the friendship by deciding the only way he would hangout with me is if we messed around, here's the messed up part... the guy has been in a relationship for seven years and is engaged... yet he wanted to sleep with me... We finally stopped talking today for good... It's been bugging me for two days now, I was really looking forward to his friendship and now it's gone. My guy met a local guy on a fourm he uses and they are meeting for the first time in a few days for dinner, and I was suppose to do the same with the guy I was chatting with and now I just feel left out... any suggestions?
Finding a friend or even friends online is possible but neither easy nor really probable. Guys are hanging out here for many reasons. Making friends with other guys is usually not one of them. Unless we are talking friends with benefits. This is now off your limits. Consider the fact that most people have very busy lives. You are trying to make a living, hit the gym, get laid, run a household, have some time with your siblings and family, educate yourself to further your career, get a second job to pay the money you owe... You are getting the picture. The days of your usual HS friendships are now past you. You can still make friends and have very meaningful friendships if you instill some content into your friendship. Connect with the guys who share your interest. This is invariably the best starting point. People who share the same challenges and difficulties usually tend to flock together. Understand that content is needed. Very, very few people will be willing to spend their time and money simply shooting the breeze with you. Common interests and common problems bring the people together. KD
this is sad actually. it's true, this is the reality of everyday life for most people, but it's sad. i see it happening with my own friends. most people i know have become stuck in a loop where most everything they do is associated with work and home only. no time for external interests, friends that aren't colleagues, or just doing something different for a change. the sad part about it is that they want to do all that stuff, pursue other interests, make new friends, etc, but either they just don't have the time or they're constantly tired and don't bother. sad.
I've had the same problem before. I've had the same problem in real life!!! I hate to have a friend that has alt motives. Fake friends that are just waiting around to hook up! It's hard to trust people because of this! People need to stop wanting to have sex all the time!
I fully agree with MW here. This is sad. And it ain't gonna change any time soon. The only way out is to accept the reality, sad as it is, and adjust your ways to meet the new challenges. We do not live in a golden age, and we ought to understand the people who are trying to make their ends meet, and improve their lots. Sure, it is neither good nor enjoyable to have fake friends of any kind. Least of all, the guys who want to jump your bones under the pretext of friendship. People are being left with very few options... KD
hey guys, I know what u mean but you're also being very negative - if you're not content with your lives then make changes, life is not just about mortgages n taxes n pension pots; we only get one go - it's for experience and enjoying while trying to do some good. Things that we each consider worthwhile...........make tie for them. Just my pennyworth..... Simon :sunny:
i am fully okay. i never compromised my life like that and have no plans to do it in the future either. but i've steered my life in this direction consciously. and i'm also the type of person to always do what i want whatever it is no matter what. so it follows by default from there. but i can't change the lives of my friends. they're different in their personalities, priorities, and commitments. i agree with you, if a person wants to do something he should go after it no matter what, but most people don't see it this way. sadly. some of my friends i wouldn't even see if i didn't make an effort myself. a lot of people have moved into their computers and try to keep in touch with friends who aren't colleagues through the internet. that's not a real communication for me though. also, making new adult friends, what this thread is about, has become an extremely multilayered issue for most men these days. they meet some guy, connect with him, but then he's not really part of their life, doesn't move in their circle of friends, is not connected through work...and some guys are also nervous about looking gay if they go out of their way to spend time with another guy like that. and most just don't bother. they let it go. i had an experience not unlike this one this summer. i met a great guy, and we connected with each other. it was one of those rare moments when you meet someone and you just click. but it was only a summer thing. he has his work, his girlfriend, his other responsibilities. we don't move in the same circles at all. i would have loved to be his friend, but it's just not happening. his lifestyle and personality it just follows from a different perspective. and i can't do anything about that. i can make an effort on my side, but i can't force another person on theirs. and i see this everywhere nowadays. and it is sad. but it's also how some things are. you can't change the world alone. not really.
