Sex When Roommates Are Around

In a strange series of events, I ended up in a 2 bedroom apartment with two other people. Myself and the "original" roommate are in the bedrooms (separated by a living room and kitchen) and the third roommate is in the living room. To get to the kitchen and bathroom, I have to walk out of my separate entrance, lock my door, walk through the apartment complex, and then unlock the main entrance and go in. From what I can tell, it may not be legal (the roommate is a German citizen possibly here illegally and the room itself may or may not be legal.)

Since our rooms are right next to each other and there is a door in between, the wall is far from sound proof. She sleeps on an air mattress and I can hear it squeak when she moves. It also doesn't help that her bed is right next to the shared wall. She often tells me to turn down my music, which can get annoying, but I usually comply. Now for the sex part.

So I met this girl and we started having some pretty wild sex. She's of the screaming variety and cannot control it. Whether I put my hand over her mouth or ask her to not make loud noises (she really does try) she cannot stop. Obviously, this proves disturbing for my roommate, and she has started asking that we be quiet, which will eventually result in her requesting that we stop all together. Is it wrong for me to ignore her complaints? My girlfriend lives with her parents and extended family, so sex at her place is almost always impossible. My roommate hardly ever leaves and she does not go to school or hold a job. She rarely leaves to go shopping or to see her (I presume) boyfriend. Should I tell her to deal with it or find new (and possibly legal) living arrangements? Should I be more considerate somehow? All opinions are welcome.

 

It's rude, no one should be forced to listen to two people having sex.
If I was your roommate I would make a big deal out of it too.

Just out of curiosity, what does she do?

 

u r having sex with a girl u met, but have a girlfriend?

 

She's the same person. I met her and she's now my girlfriend.

From what I can tell, absolutely nothing productive. When I met her she said she was "on vacation." Being New York City, you would think she would be out all the time. She's never had anyone over, either. She's leaving at the end of October to go back to Germany, so I assume she's just staying here for the hell of it.

I wouldn't like it either, but I would probably just go do something. As I said, she's in the living room, so the apartment wasn't built to handle this particular living arrangement, and it was her choice to live here. When I moved in I was given the option to kick her out, but I decided she could stay as I wouldn't want to be the one to put someone on the streets. The cheaper rent is also a plus, but not necessary for me.

 

You could try to reach a compromise and settle on certain hours of the day where the sex is going to take place and the advanced warning should compensate for the impossibility and unrealistic expectation to be quiet.

Noise reduction should happen on your guy's part.

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But honestly if I were your roommate I just wouldn't care provided it wasn't done while I was trying to sleep.

Sex noises aren't anything you don't normally hear, it's just moaning, a squishy sounds sometimes, and some language.

The only thing that might offend me would be odor, but sound is just that...sound...not anything really great about it except the context our mind slaps onto it. And one can control the context of their mind's perception if they learn how....it's called ignoring it or denial.

 

Simple, just invite her to join you.

 

I would just wait it out and be as considerate as possible.

I certainly wouldn't stop having sex - finding creative ways to "keep it down" can be alot of fun. Having music in the background may diffuse some of your sexual noises.

 

You're in an unfortunate situation with these rooms and your roommate. I'm afraid the best thing to do is take more consideration just because you're in a situation that asks for more consideration (sounds simple haha ). I know it is a drag but it is for your roommate as well I bet (I know I am annoyed when I am involuntarily hearing my roommate having sex)! If she rarely leaves the house and often complains about your noise it is of course the best thing for her to give in a bit too. You guys need to find a compromise. And yes, celebrate when she leaves :biggrin:

 

Investing in ear plugs and an mp3 player with headphones for your roommate would be nice.

 

I say "to hell with my roommates" I clean up after them and have to listen to their bullshit. I'm not going to stop having sex because I can't afford to live on my own.

 

Have all the sex you want and enjoy it, Don't try to make muffle her excitement.

 

I think it's her muffle that is causing the excitement.

 

I hadn't thought of that !! LOL

 

Well, the problem is that we have sex days every 3 days or so and never screw between the hours of 9 pm and 10 am. My roommate asked me to warn her when we're going to have sex, so I told her we were going to some 45 minutes before hand and she reluctantly accepted it and then stuck around through all 4 sessions we had.