Presidents Ford, Reagan, Carter, Nixon and Clinton were on the Titanic. On that fateful night the ship hit an iceberg and began to sink. Ford screamed, "What should we do?" Reagan said, "Man the lifeboats." Carter said, "Women first." Nixon said, "Screw the women." Clinton said, "Do you think we have time?" :cheers2:
* It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. * It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. * It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. * It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. * It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.
Kid: Mom, why does it look like your a rainbow in this picture? Mom: *grabs book* That, Billy, is a hippie. Kid: My freind Jake says that all hippies are dirty, pot smoking whorebags, but I don't think so. Mom:...You go tell Jake that his mom was one.
SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
