How important is sex in a relationship?

Your posts in this thread seem so foreign to me. I get what you're saying, it's very different from the way I think, and to be honest have never heard an argument like this from anyone I've ever talked to. At times it looks like you maybe are trying to justify your own sexual frustration and insecurities. Everything you say sounds all good and true......For you. But for me, the reason I enjoy sex so much has little if anything to do with the media. It has all to do with a God given desire to feel the warmth of a woman. Most people have this desire, some people don't. There's nothing wrong with not wanting sex, if that's just simply how you feel. But there's also nothing wrong with wanting sex ten times a day if that's what floats your boat. I agree that society may be flabbergasted by those that don't have that sexual desire, and that might be wrong. But it's human nature, as the vast majority of all mammals have the desire. People are Flabbergasted in a similar way when someone admits to never driving a car, or not liking music. It's uncommon is all

 

Maybe you should ask yourself what the actual problem is that you are having with sex.

You should be having fun doing it but evidently you don't.

 

The only difference between a close friend and a girlfriend is sex, period.

Sex is the number one most important thing to me in a relationship. Is it everything? No, but it is an excellent indicator of how the relationship is going. If I'm not getting laid, I'm not happy and obviously there are other problems too. I broke up with my last girlfriend because I didn't get laid for two weeks.

 

I would say it crosses the line at mutual affection and sexual attraction that is acknowledged backed up by physical acts, the first most commonly being lip to lip kissing.

And a counterargument can be made since FWB has existed and in some cases that's all it ended up being a friendship. Although I will conceed that feelings usually happen and cause problems in that relationship setup.

 

I think sex is really what makes the difference from a friendship and a relationship, I think if you aren't doing it allot, then it's important to look at why. for some people its just a matter of getting in the mood. There are loads of ways to encourage someone who isn't feeling their best, or is distracted. I think a healthy relationship that is long term involves some kind of sexual contact at least twice a week, Ideally everyday but for allot of people it isn't possible.
No sex would make me feel rejected and I think over time you would loose your closeness. You can do many things other than intercourse, but if you don't have any sexual contact then I would personally suggest its important to put the time and effort in. I would say it is very important, if you have no sex you have a friendship and to me I would feel that would mean you aren't giving yourself everything you could have.

 

I think its more like no one will be able to love you unless you love yourself!

 

could we be here without it

 

scenario: my sweetie is in a horrific accident that leaves him paralyzed and unable to have sex.

solution: i care for him to the best of my ability because i love him, and forgo the sex because i love him and won't leave him or have sex with somebody else.


a healthy sex life is important and it makes us feel good, but when things happen in life, especially scenarios like above, your priorities change, and things become different from the priority level they used to sit on.

 

My partner has problems getting it up and sometimes the pills don't help. Plus he drinks a lot and that makes it worse. I've basically been married and celibate for years. I just hate it, but love my husband and I depend on him for financial support, so I'm staying. But I'm hornier every minute, so my life sucks. ¿How often do I have sex? aside from last night (which was very very good) almost never, or it certainly seems that way. We went 4 years without any sex whatsoever. Recently I had to say, you gotta do better or I'm going else where, so we've had sex 3 times and that's in about 2 months time. Sad but very sadly true. Yet still I'm hopeful for better things in the future!

 

Unless the girl is all right with an open relationship, it will be one hell of a deal breaker. Heck, I'm young, I have a sex drive of massive proportions, and I'm not getting any. If I finally start getting some, and it is suddenly taken away from me, I'd either have to stay with the girl but find sex elsewhere, or I'll have to leave her. I'd be more willing to give up my life for someone that I would be willing to live a life utterly devoid of sex. I would have to love someone so much that I would have to be willing to suffer a fate worse than death itself. The fact of the matter is, I'm a very, very, VERY sexual person. The fact that I'm a virgin also explains quite a lot about why I feel like I'm going insane.

 

No reproduction without sexual gametes. Whether or not sex is important to you
at all is the result of hormonal secretions.

 

maybe we could help each other out!

 

The guy still has hands and a mouth! Tell him just because he cannot get it up doesn't mean that he has an excuse to forgo the responsibility of pleasing you sexually! I would never see not being able to get it up as an excuse. If that goes with a low libido, I wouldn't see it mattering either, because it is a man's responsibility to satisfy his woman.

 

Maybe we can... But you will have to pay for the air plane tickets. I live in South Africa.

 

Are you my wife masquerading as someone on here? That is just about word for word what she said to me the other day.

 

That's actually what I tell him, and he knows how to do it, he's knows my body, but who knows what's going on in his brain because he's a closed book. I keep my mouth quiet because he's more likely to go on a drinking binge and go missing for a couple of days. He has been trying more lately, and he's cut back on his drinking and has promised to look after me more, BUT it's still not enough (three times in two months),

so I masturbate a LOT! I'm so good at it now!! I could enter a competition!! That's a sport I'd like to see crop up, competitive masturbating!! Maybe I'd win a gold medal and shame my husband into action!! That'd be a laugh!

Yes, it is his responsibility, I know I've stepped up to the plate for him many many times when I was indisposed. OH WELL, Guess I've just continue living in HELL!!

and as for airplane ticket money, wish I had some, I'd come over there to S. AFrica and rock your world! But It'd be hard to explain to my husband why I need money to visit this nice guy I met on the internet that wants to fuck me and I him.....pretty ticklish subject, yes. I don't have that much money of my own. And to explain an absence of that length of time.....plus the guilt I'd undergo, ay mi!!

 

They already have that, but its called Politics

Guilt is an emotion, so it would just make you hornier

 

That's a sport I'd like to see crop up, competitive masturbating!!

that made me laugh!! Yes, ladies and gentlemen in this corner we have, the Merry Masturbator and in the other corner we have the Randy Nub Rubber, ladies, on your mark getting going!!! well, the blow by blow could get interesting! LOL!

 

Faelixx, unfortunately we aren't great communicators. He's older and I look up to him a lot and have a hard time laying things on the line. It's like he's always right and my wants or needs are secondary to the issues of the day. So I've been thinking I'd start e-mailing him, but I haven't gotten my courage up yet to do it. I'm afraid to start an argument - or I don't know, just chicken and insecure. It's a problem. But then I look at what I'm going thru and think I'm a complete asshole. I need to grow a pair.

I don't have a problem being naked with him. I know he admires my figure. Just wish he take that next step.

 

The whole key is communication. I know how hard that can be, but do you want things to stay how they are or would you like to be able to have the sex life you dream about. He might be just as frustrated as you are and doesn't want to put you thru the conversation either. You have nothing to loose..... Good Luck!