Well I saw a video earlier of a couple and the woman was sucking the guy off, with those glaring eyes that show how much a women loves you and how shes perfectly happy. She was beautiful and enjoying the moment. I later went on to discovered they are in a dom/sub poly-relationship/open relationship. I believe a good person would be happy that both of people have someone to love each that much. That they trust each other that much, strong enough to forgive/turn the other cheek. Or just willing to accept it. But I get irritated and my stomach gets knots in it. I thought it might be jealously, or how I hate a woman can be so happy doing that. I don't know why I feel this way but I do, maybe I want something like that? Maybe I hate seeing that much trust and love in one person's eyes. I'm not sure.... I just wish I could see it a different way but I cant. I'm not sure what my problems with people being in poly-relationships, it just twists my stomach and rattles my brain and makes my heart hurt. Have any of you been in my place before? and if so please tell me what happened/how you changed?
As a much younger man I experienced a lot of jealousy in relationships. With age, I finally just adopted the mentality of, "well, if she wants to be with me then that's fine....if she wants to be with someone else, that's just fine as well". In other words, I finally accepted that I couldn't make anyone want to be with me, or faithful to me, if that's not what they wanted and the emotional energy expended trying to make something out of nothing was not worth the price. Today I live a much happier life. I generally stay faithful to 2 or 3 women though I stray sometimes. They all accept me for who I am and I accept them for who they are. My best girlfriend is a real free spirit sexually and I love who she is and how she is. I hope she never changes and always calls me #1 out of many.
