My boyfriend and I previously did a few MFF threesomes but it started all sorts of fights and I was always angry and bitter about everything. I feel that it virtually all stemmed from me being jealous and feeling as though I wasn’t good enough no matter how much by boyfriend reassured me that I was the only one for him. After a couple months we sort of slowed down on looking for other girls and finally I put my foot down one night after accusing him of flirting with another girl at the bar (he wasn’t but I was beyond stressed and insecure about other girls) and the threesomes stopped. As much as I hated the other girls though (and I mean literally hate them-even though I never showed it in front of them we could never meet with the same girl twice without me freaking out and cancelling), I loooooved the attention I got from my boyfriend during them. He tried to include me in every part of the process as much as possible and during the 3somes he would be so excited and grabbing at me and showing me off and we had awesome sex and afterwards we would cuddle up and he would tell me how much he loved it and how happy I made him. It made me feel special and loved and beyond sexy. Lately though we’ve been considering trying again but I’m not sure how I feel about it yet. There were a lot of parts that I liked about having 3somes but my emotions about the other girls being there and jealousy always got in the way. Ideally I would like for us organize it without me having temper tantrums through the whole thing. My boyfriend really wants us to do it as a team and just have fun with it and maybe find someone like-minded we can meet with occasionally without having to continually search for someone new but I can never seem to follow through with separating emotions from sex. Any suggestions for making future 3somes more enjoyable for everyone and avoiding any emotional issues? If any one else has gone through this how did you work it out? Thanks!
sounds to me like you shouldn't be doing threesomes. so basically the only reason you do them is because that's the only time the bf's affectionate?
No he's always affectionate. We're both pretty crazy sexually and have a great sex life without the threesomes. I really like the idea of someone watching us having sex or directing it but it's always the sharing part that gets to me.
We have done that. it was awesome He really likes having sex with other people and all the new experiences that come with it. I guess I'm just looking for someone else's perspective on it.
Okay first of all I am curious if you are bi and if you are not what would be the benefit of an ffm for you? Next tell him that sure you will have another threesome, but this time you would like it to be another guy for you to play with! I am sure in this situation you would not have any jealousy issues to have to deal with on your end.
Well I am a strong believer of not doing anything to that you don't feel comfortable with. Either learn to get past it, pick someone you want to be with so badly it doesn't matter if that person is also with your husband, or decide not to do it.
It is my opinion, speaking from experience, that you are not cut out for this lifestyle. Jealousy has no place in this situation. Get out. You are ruining what should be a good time with your bitter feelings. You will never trust your boyfriend. You are not the right woman to be his primary partner in a polyamorous lifestyle. You need to find someone to have a monogamous relationship with. It sounds as if that is where your heart truly lies.
You might want to consider playing separately. Probably in a DADT agreement, but just giving your bf a hall pass.
