I've been with my girlfriend for 8 years and our sex life is not at the point of non-existance. We are both in our mid-20s, I have a great job and provide us with a very good lifestyle. I was thinking about marriage but I am beginning to question can I marry I woman who has no interest in sex (with me at least). What makes it more fustrating is that she has a stunning body and spends a fortune in Victoria Secret, but I never get to see any of it on. We did have good sex for years, but never anything kinky. I crave something exciting, I don't think we have had sex in the morning or during the day in about 6 years. Oral sex is a no for giving and receiving. Anal sex is a no. Showers/baths together are a no. The only positions we are allowed to do is with me on top, and with a lot of begging she will go on top sometimes. The last time we had sex was about 7 weeks ago, I try everything to make it happen but she just doesn't want to know, all I get is excusses. How can someone who wants to marry me, have no interest in anything exciting sexual with me, does she not crave some sexual excitment. It would upset me to think she would rather masterbate (denys that she does) than have sex with me. Surely she cant go 7 weeks without an orgasm! Sex only happens when I beg for it, I can't remember the last time she started it. Last month I took us away to NYC for a week in top hotel, apparently just because your on holidays you don't need to have sex. Does she really not want sex that much? I know she loves me, and wants us to get married. Is there something I'm doing wrong? I don't want to make her feel forced into it, I want her to want to. Her reasoning behind it is that we just never get the time.
you dont need a womans opinion... it is obvious she is not into you any more....move on brother..its over
I'd have to say, start looking for someone who wants an exciting sex life, I don't think it's going any place with the one your with, sorry.
You do need a women's opinion. But she is the woman who's opinion you need. You need this discussion with her.
We go into relationships with one set of needs that the guy is good at attending to. As part of that, we have sex. It isn't always physical attraction. It's because the relationship is new, and sex is somewhat expected. Over time, needs change, and that old set of needs belong to that person we first had sex with, and now the sex part isn't desired anymore because we have a new set of needs. We are scum!! I say that seriously. Women are fickle and selfish. Especially in our 20s. You need to be very frank with her. Take the lead. Crappy sex life is a deal breaker. Tell her to figure out what she really sees in you. Love is not enough, just like physical attraction is not enough, and sex drive is not enough. We need to see our men sexy!! It will differ from woman to woman, what constitutes sexy. For me, it's charm, intelligence, awareness, fun seeking, accomplished, confident, decisive.
I hate to say it, but if it is at this point already for you it is not going to get any better! Never does. I guess you need to ask yourself if you can spend the rest of your life being in with someone that is not interested in giving you what you need and want. I tried it for 16 long years and was unhappy the whole time. Luckily for me it is never to late to find someone who is a good match in and out of the bedroom. Those were a long 16 years though I will say and I would never do it again with anyone no matter what.
You can try counseling, but I doubt that will do the trick. She sounds like she has some deep-seated hangups about sex and therapy might not be enough to get her past them, especially if she goes just to please you. You're very young and still have plenty of time to meet a woman who will not only love you but also lust for you, and have a fulfilling and active sex life.
She most certainly can go 7 weeks without an orgasm. She probably just has low libido due to hormones. Maybe her parents weren't loving and she was "taught" that sex isn't needed in a long-term relationship. It probably won't get better, however, I have heard of women who gain sex drive before, during or after menopause. It's also possible she hasn't hit her sexual "peak" yet since you are in your 20s. If it is a deal breaker for you, you need to tell her. Otherwise she'll keep on thinking that everything is fine. She will think why fix what isn't broke. Be honest with her and see if she is willing to work on it or just comes up with more excuses.
