How do you cope with grieving when you have no one IRL there? I have no friends or family that I can turn to for support. I'm going through a really rough time and to top it off I'm grieving a loss. I'm finding it really hard that there is nobody here, just the presence of someone familiar would help but I don't have that when I really need it right now. Any tips would be great because I can't even move from bed right now.
You're doing the best thing you can do! A network on online support is an awesome thing to have. You don't have to get dressed for us or smile or try to talk. You can tell us as little as you want to, or as much as you want to. We are here when you want us to be and we go away when you want us to. For IRL, you've got that baby. Little children are the best therapy to bring about smiles. I know it's hard not to cry and feel crappy in front of her, though. I went through the loss of a relationship not too long ago (just realized it was 3 years ago this week) and it took me a year and a half to get to the point of beginning to heal. I did have someone near who would let me talk and cry when I wanted to. I'm sorry that you don't. Is there a relationship recovery group that you could attend?
And let your spirit come out. It wants to express some feelings. Let yourself create music, art, meals, organization/disorder. The feelings want a way out and they aren't afraid to show themselves as sad/angry art, music, etc. Just let yourself feel, Mama. It's okay.
Baby has gone away for a few days because I'm struggling so bad. The dishes in my sink are going mouldy and my entire house is a state. What's happening right now is amplifying everything else including the recent split. I can't cope with my own emotions, they are too strong. can I pm you please Aeri?
Wake up, drink a cup of coffee, clean your house, go eat a REALLY good lunch, exercise, and fake it till you make it.
When my father died and my mother was simultaneously gravely ill - I had no one. My brother was absolutely an emotional wreck and useless. My friends showed their true colors and basically avoided me like grim death - because that's what I had come to represent. If I wasn't up to party and entertain them, then I was basically a wet blanket and useless to them, and these were the people who I had come to rely on as a family. Huge mistake. I don't know if what I'm about to suggest is helpful, or even good advice, so take with a grain of salt, but here goes: I basically became a hard ass. I took on the view that this world was out to undermine and destroy me, my spirit and I wasn't going down without a fight. I wasn't going to allow any circumstance or person, or lack thereof to defeat me and keep me mired in perpetual despair. Because that's what I felt like I was facing. As a side effect, I lost all tolerance for any petty bullshit and I came out the other side a more confident and independent person. It wasn't easy, but I used anger - anger at my circumstance - to force myself out of that "can't get out of bed" phase, and I relied on that for quite some time. The anger subsided eventually - the confidence and independence didn't, and I'm grateful for that.
When my father died and my mother was simultaneously gravely ill - I had no one. My brother was absolutely an emotional wreck and useless. My friends showed their true colors and basically avoided me like grim death - because that's what I had come to represent. If I wasn't up to party and entertain them, then I was basically a wet blanket and useless to them, and these were the people who I had come to rely on as a family. Huge mistake. I don't know if what I'm about to suggest is helpful, or even good advice, so take with a grain of salt, but here goes: I basically became a hard ass. I took on the view that this world was out to undermine and destroy me, my spirit and I wasn't going down without a fight. I wasn't going to allow any circumstance or person, or lack thereof to defeat me and keep me mired in perpetual despair. Because that's what I felt like I was facing. As a side effect, I lost all tolerance for any petty bullshit and I came out the other side a more confident and independent person. It wasn't easy, but I used anger - anger at my circumstance - to force myself out of that "can't get out of bed" phase, and I relied on that for quite some time. The anger subsided eventually - the confidence and independence didn't, and I'm grateful for that.[/QUOTE] yep, anger got him out of bed. hear that MamaPeace? and did you know AVOIDANCE of the feeling of ANGER puts you IN bed?!
Thanks everyone, this was posted a few months back when I was really hit hard with some crap. Since then things have been better then worse then better again, I'm in a better place at the moment but I have no idea how long that will last! I am mentally strengthening myself though, with music, crystals and some other stuff, I am trying to take up a hobby to keep my mind from dwelling in the negative past... Things tend to creep up on me. I agree with the anger though, I had one day where I was angry to no end, ended up cleaning my house out of anger and really got some bad emotions out of my system! But thanks Grieving is the worst, especially alone, but its strengthened my spirit for sure.
what is the bravely i think every one should have because you can't depend on friends or any one when you in nhardship, they nomally walk away when you need them the most.
Mama every impression I've gotten from you tells me you have a beautiful spirit and also that you're a strong woman. I hope things continue to look up for you.
Sometimes I wish I had someone to grieve with, but after a while there is no one left to grieve with.
That's really all I've got going for me right now too. I've got piled up mental and physical health problems, and a family who is seemingly biased against my very existance. If I didn't keep subconsciously repeating what you just said, in my head every single day, I'm sure I'd be doing a lot worse than I currently am.
