Feelings of dark, blackness.

Today was sunny, Saturday, time to chill, have fun and stuff. I felt pretty good.
But then a pretty, or rather, very shit incident happened. Its turned me into a black, dark state of mind. Like when your mind, body, spirit even is overwhelmed with anger, sadness, rage and all the other most horrible feelings in the World.. and beyond.

What do you do in that situation? Has it ever happened to you? How did you get back to a happy state? How long did it take?

 

May I Ask What The Incident That Changed You Was....??



Cheers Glen.

 

Later in the thread Glen. I just wondered what other people's experiences, feelings were, first.

 

Yeah, I've had mood shifts like that. Sometimes it just passes as quickly as it came. Other times it becomes part of your personality.

 

I sometimes have panic attacks after having conversations with people I haven't seen in awhile. I just try to be aware that nothing is actually wrong and ride it out until it passes.

 

This is different, when you feel physically ill. When a really shit event has triggered. An "its just as well x doesn't store firearms at home" type of thing. But not just anger, its like an emptiness develops.

 

Yeah I usually just smoke some dope...but I have none so
'out of the blue and into the black'.

 

I suppose this is more a thread about death, mortality and all that in others.
How do (or do people?) deal with that?

 

Anything that would feed your spirit is a good idea, positive self talk, praying, lighting a candle, getting out with people who inspire you. Anything is better than sitting in that feeling. See it, aknowledge it, then move on.

Thoughts harden into character.

 

Thx for your post, and your sentiments.
Unfortunately, all I see is words on a screen. Not a criticism of you, just what I feel. Any feeling of spirit and all that just feels.. gone. If that makes sense to you.

 

They don't. It's one of the big problems with modern society. People cannot reconcile the fact that we are all going to die someday so they act like ninnys until they are on their death-bed full of regrets.
Death is the advisor.
You are already as good as dead so why not make the best of life while you can?

 

My moods fluctuate quite a bit. I would not be in the least bit surprised to learn I am bipolar. Usually I would just smoke some weed and look at things from a different perspective, except I have no weed. Someone needs to hook me up ASAP.

 

You and me both brutha...

 

I tend to get mad at God, whether there is or isn't one. I'm pissed off at "God" right now, in fact. I have been at odds with "Him" for over 4 years and was just recently given a few reasons to be pissed off again. How I deal with that...well, I just ride it out. Eventually the pissed off fades to a quiet disappointment. And I just continue to live life, one day at a time, until there are no more days to live.

 

Zombie thx for your post. But I feel like you're saying "plane's gonna crash, so enjoy the view and forget about it". I'm more "well lets have a try at landing it, even if the pilot's just keeled over". I've never felt like "things'll sort themselves out".

Similar situation a long while back, I remember looking at the sky and saying out loud the word "****". Moving on, I think of some of the most gratuitously vicious people I've ever met, and sure enough they were the biggest proponents of "God" in whatever format. It kind of drags any warmth out of me sometimes.

Even when I didn't feel as down last time, these feelings of guilt, sadness /shock for whoever is gone etc would appear. And ontop of that, I think about so many of the things we do, and don't do, while people's lives are ticking away. How much of the time did the important things, rather than the silly things get done? Like a bemused emptiness. Like something isn't "real", but at the same time more horrible than you could possibly imagine. Its like being surrounded by pure evil, but a type that obliterates. Yuk.

 

wow, being surrounded by pure evil sounds pretty harsh

It would be helpful to know more of the particulars of your experience

so it sounds like you encountered something negative, and that triggered a wave of negativity

one thing to do is to try seeing a therapist. hopefully there is a way for you to modify the way you react to stress.

sounds like you have had some negative experiences in the past that you haven't dealt with, and stressful events lead you to revisit them.

as far as the "good thing x doesn't have a gun" thing goes, I agree. But if you're thinking this way, the therapy is especially important. you may also want to check out www.suicideforum.com or www.befrienders.org

you could also see an md to see if there is a medical component to how you feel

you might want to try meditation, regular gentle aerobic exercise and fresh air, avoiding processed and junk food and food which is cold or raw

talking to a close friend or relative might help. positive social contact with people or pets might help.

also, watching a funny movie. maybe make a list of things that you feel grateful for, and revisit the list when you feel this way.

maybe get a massage.

you could try mantra recitation, "Om Mani Peni Hum"

or take a look at this mantra video

WARNING: Contains Rainbows, Waterfalls, and Birds in Flight at Sunset

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yUJucA-mrgE&feature=player_detailpage#t=34s


hope things get better soon!

 

Many thx for your post and detailed thoughts.
The situation was the illness and death of a member of my family. My view was always throw some money at the problem, try different approaches, and if that fails fr.eeze them up for 50yrs ( ie c.ryo stuff).Most people think thats eccentric, bonkers even, but whatever, thats their conditioning, this is mine.

The rest of them were "don't want them to suffer, this is for the best" etc etc. Basically, I was told, "we don't like your idea", its not my call, so my solution wouldn't be considered. Now the ill person themself couldn't make decisions. So I feel really guilty that I maybe didn't push hard enough and insist on my way. Maybe it wasn't my call. But my view is, I was the only one prepared to try another approach. Most of all, I feel sad for the one who's no longer here.

You misinterpreted the bit about firearms.I'm not the sort who'd ever injure myself. What I was actually referring to was that in my world I come across some pretty low moral characters. No problem, I know exactly how to deal with them. However, they are the sort that would incur the rage of some people. And I'm the sort who can build up latent rage in situations as difficult as this. So I think these disreputable types, would choose to give me a "wide berth" in a situation like this.

I'm not into therapists or reprogramming. I don't even see it as that type of problem. The last time I had this mood was a death about 20 yrs ago. And I'm not one to have conversations with relatives about this sort of things. Likewise with friends and girlfriends, I don't like the idea of "burdening people". My lifestle is very healthy, its just trying to/ resolving this situation.

 

Consider:
The Way of things is;
Impersonal
Imperfect
Impermanent.

It won't make you sparkly happy-tunes, and in fact it's quite normal to sometimes be unhappy,but it might give you a framework for understanding.

 

OK I can accept that things aren't "out to get me personally".
I can accept that they won't always look perfect to me, at the time, and for a potentially long time after.

But are they imperfect and impersonal in the "Great Scheme of Things"?
Does that mean everything is eventually a disaster. Carnage, destruction.
The sort of evil void sucking up any thing that's ever been important.
Thats what makes me feel so ill.

Impermanent? Is that the idea everything is eaten by a nothingness. So its like it never existed in the first place?

I hope not. If it is, its like I might as well start being part of the void that eats. (OK that doesn't make sense to me, but neither do any other things today).

If impermanence means "even death will die"(and become the only other thing it can be .. ie the opposite ie life) then ok, celebration time... sort of.
But its all a bit much for me to take in at the moment, let alone comment on.

 

Yes, I'll switch on a dime like that. I don't deal with disappointment well. So when something hits me hard, I kind of ruminate in it. It weighs heavy in me, and kind of blocks that which is good around me from returning and making me happy. I'll even find myself talking about my feelings of disappointment first before I'll tell someone about the rest of my day.

Here's what I've done about it. When it happens I immediately abandon the feeling, and return my thoughts to other happenings around me. In fact, you can repeat words in your head (or out loud) like "its sunny, it's sunny" and that will overcome that which is getting you down. You literally cannot think about two things at once. Because, basically I sometimes feel its a habit. In other words, its a reflex. Habits can be broke.

As well, it's a matter of relinquishing control too. I can't change the bad that happens, so I don't want to give it attention either.