my boyfriend said "why dont we just not have sex" and said it was a bad joke

heyy my bf and i are both 22.. we have been together for 4 years and i have been on birth control for one year. it was decided that it would be something temporary the bc since we were both virgins and was planned to be used until he got used to controlling his cum and we were fully comfortable using condoms all that.. anyways i ended up staying longer then a few months but now i finally want off.. im having mood swings and feeling depressed and no i dont want to switch i want off cause i do not need the added hormones and even when on bc my bf always uses a condom and never cums in me with the condom on.. so take away the bc and i think were still safe?? has anyone else ever used bc for that purpose to get used to sex when virgins then go off? my doctor said usually its the other way around but makes no sense to me. also we are planning to try it where he cums in me with the condom on before i go off the bc so we are comfortable with it when im off, does this make sense? anyone else think like this?

now, also my bf and i were having this discussion about it alone and he knows im not for long term use and all the increases of cancer and all that so hes agreeing to go off.. now we havent done it for almost a month cause last opportunity didnt make sense and was too rushed and all and we have been on exams and busy with school. but then when i was trying to discuss bc and he was saying not to stay on and we will be good without cause hes so careful, then he said "why dont we just not have sex" i literally just starting crying and pushing him away. later when he left me at home we had a talk i forgave him and he kissed me goodnight..now the next day im just so mad and i cant forgive that quickly.. it also hurts more cause we didnt do it for the first 3 yrs of our relationship (was me though thinking of waiting till i was married) and we havent in almost a month soo i started breaking down saying fine well be in a relationship and not have sex if thats what u want.. and now im massively hurt... did i have a right to get so upset..even though he keeps saying it was a bad joke and he didnt think i'd get so upset. he is constantly saying sorry and how much he loves me and wants to be with me forever ..would u be as hurt as i am?? also we were planning to have sex saturday night no one will be home but i feel like now i do not want to.

 

This is a bit confusing.

He never cums in you with the condom on? That is what they are for.
No, I've never heard of anyone using bcp to get used to sex.
Using the pullout method is a good way to get pregnant. Just use condoms.

It sounds like you are making sex into a big production with lots of rules. No fun. He is probably getting a bit annoyed, can't you just use condoms?

Seriously, there are a lot of pullout babies running around.

 

yes i know pullout doesnt work.. we were going to use with condoms so im not worried when i go off bc.. anyone else about the second part .. would u be as hurt as i am?

 

i remember you. you are really lucky to have a boyfriend.

 

Love It...:smilielol5::smilielol5::2thumbsup:



Cheers Glen.

 

I believe relationships needs sex, as a consumation of your love/bond. Talk to him about how you're feeling! I wouldn't be hurt by what he said, as it probably just came out in frustration due to your worry about birth control.

About birth control;
I'm on it and would recommend it to anyone. A lower dose, and my boyfriend still uses condoms (cumming inside is fine if you're wearing a condom, love). This keeps me happy and not worried at all about the possibility of pregnancy. The only foolproof method is abstinence, hah

 

^^ ummm what does that mean iminmyunderwear??? rude? you may remember a post, but u do not know me at all so dont talk if u dont have anything helpful to say

 

and thanks foresting i believe they need sex too he didnt mean it , i know he didnt but it just hurt..ive been talking to him about it

 

no, you're not rude. just kind of crazy.

 

i said you are rude... i am certainly not crazy, stop judging people you do not know. what makes me crazy? everyone has there own way of dealing with things and feelings, u shouldnt be so quick to bash people looking for advice.

 

it's true, i don't know you, i can only guess by the posts you've made here. but every post of yours i've read comes off as being written by someone who's a little crazy.

 

whatever u say, judge all you want. i dont have time for this stuff

 

Sounds like it doesn't take much for you to burst into tears. Frankly, that's a drag.

If YOU decided you guys weren't going to be having sex for years because of some idea about marriage and now you're throwing a big hissy because of one throwaway remark he's made about refraining from sex, you've got a problem, and it's called expecting to have everything your way.

 

again with me being judged.. i have my anxiety, things in my life added hormones i dont need women cry ok. to me it was hurtful doesnt mean im softyy it just affected me ..i dont get u people not sensitive lmaoo!! anyways were all good now. i said that about waiting for marriage long time ago but that was just an idea that changed. i really dont understand what u make about the having things my way we mutially decided things.. makes no sense. we decided not to wait thats why it was weird of him to say. we have been together 4 yrs just the odd disagreements. can this be closed now mygoodness.???

 

Don't know who told you that. No fun cuming in a condom. Plus for guys who produce lots of cum , that's like playing with fire.

Personally, if I was with a girl I didn't want to get pregnant. I'd never risk cuming inside her (condom or no condom).