Me and my boyfriend have been together for two years and we have a 9 month old little girl. This post is about our sex life, I'm hoping someone can shed some light on the situation. Basically all he is interested in is having sex (when he does want sex, that is) hes not interested in a blowjob, a handjob, doing ANYTHING to me, he just wants sex. When we have sex it is basically he'll kiss me for a minute, then try to get my clothes off as soon as possible then have sex for a few minutes, go in the bathroom to clean up then go to sleep :/ Recently I have been trying to switch things up a bit, I have tried giving him a blowjob but he says he doesn't like them :/ I have asked him to do things to me but he says he doesn't like it, I asked him to finger me after we'd just had sex and he wouldn't do it, his words were "i dont want to now iv shot up there". All i want is abit of intimacy, I would prefer to just make out then have sex :/ so last time we had sex when he'd gone to the bathroom to clean up I stayed naked and when he got back in bed got on top and he looked so confused :/ He didn't know what was happening at all. I said i wanted a kiss and he gave me a peck then looked like he was about to go to sleep so I just got off I'm getting sick of it, I feel unattractive, I feel like hes just using me to get off and doesn't care about my needs. I can't understand how a lad can't like a blowjob etc etc. Can anyone tell me whether or not this is normal please?
No, not normal. If the situation were reversed (meaning my girl was doing that to me) she'd be out the door so fast she wouldn't know what hit her. My advice would be ask him about it and see what his reasoning/problem is. If you don't like what you hear then just end it.
yeah, sounds pretty normal to me. if i had a nickel for every time i've seen the whole "i just started dating some douche that i'm incompatible with so i'll hurry up and have his baby so we have to stay together and i'll have someone to complain about" thing..
yeah i've discussed it with him and he just says he doesn't like putting his hands down there lol i cant understand why he doesnt like any foreplay being done on him, its really confusing me :/ I don't wanna end it over a sex problem cos the rest of the relationship is brilliant, its just this
Ditto, one nickel for that Another nickel for the inevitable condescending 'communication' chestnut Cos talking is somehow going to make the boyfriend motorboat those labias And a third nickel for the eventual admission by the chic that she is going to end it, surprise, surprise over sex. Even though she starts off claiming all he wants is sex, which is not what she really means, all he wants is lousy two minute noodle sex, and she wants it more than him....which leads us back to good ole honesty and communication...when nothing that ever comes out of their mouths is ever the truth. To the OP, seriously, how do you not all see this coming?
Vanilla Gorilla - I said I wasn't going to end it because the rest of the relationship is brilliant, just not the sex anymore. When we were first together just having sex was fine because I hadn't been having sex that long and I was still shy but now I want to experiment more and he doesn't because hes been having sex longer than me and in his words hes "bored" of it. And where in my post have I called or even made him out to be a "douche"? He works, supports me and our daughter, is a lovely person, its just the sex that I don't like anymore. I thought this was a forum you could come on for help...seems not...
This tell him this. He's treating you like a piece of meat to screw, not the mother of your child. He should at least finger you, if he genuinely doesn't like blowjobs. I have no idea if this will make you feel any better or not, but your situation is really intolerable, but unfortunately common especially among young couples with children in the age range from birth-toddler. Just due to all the stress of raising children does to the couple. This is make or break time for a relationship/marriage. I recommend counseling by professionals if you guys can be mature and talk this out on your own and want to stay together. But I have to ask, you two dated for 2 years, did he display this behavior before when it came to sex?
And...we get to the bottom of why this relationship is so brilliant according to the OP. Except for the sex, of course.
Forgive me, just that if you are talking like this now, I know whats going to end up happening at greater than even odds. He's just going to fizzle out as he gets older where as you are going to turn into a teenage boy libido wise Granted I suppose you dont get to see everything about 30/40 something women as you arent a guy, but still, seriously, I dont understand how you are all totally blind. Help? Right or wrong, whoevers fault it is, doesnt matter. It comes down to one basic rule; the kind of guy that is going to be able to really take care of things in the bedroom is tue exact opposite of yhe type of guy thats going to be boring safe and stable, no one can beat that rule, so there is no help. Either stay faithfull and go crazy, or have your cake and eat it too and make constant reaffirmations to everyone that you would never cheat on your 'gorgeous' husband so they are more likely to believe you. And make snotty comments to people that arent married when you have something secret on the side. Forgive me again, but at 30 this kind of thing was irritating, at 41 its , OMG who the f do you think you are kidding
man there are a lot of dick head comments in this thread. i would try straight up telling him "you need to eat me out" or at least "can you finger me before you shove your dick in?" if he won't do things like that, stop having sex with him. this may be terrible advice. i don't have much experience...maybe some 41 year old wise man could offer some constructive advice?
heyy, well i am only 22 im not sure how old you are but from reading your post i can tell you i would be very hurt and feel used if my bf didnt want to do anything physical and rush right into sex. he may just feel like you have done it a lot already and just get to it in a way. I'd really just tell him how you feel and let him know he needs be more compassionate. also they laying there naked thing, guys sucks at taking cues, you just need to be honest and say it lol
