Do people hate women who love to fuck?

I know I'm not alone in being a woman who loves to fuck. I know that at least two other women do: Susie "Sexpert" Bright and Greta Christina, two sex-positive feminists. Other than that I think I might be an anomaly.

Being a woman who loves to fuck can mean two things:

-You have to be a loner who only interacts with people in a sexual context and not any other everyday context for fear of being judged, analyzed, lectured, or better yet manipulated out of doing what makes you feel happy.

They say "you were abused, molested, raped, beaten as a child" or "you're an alcoholic who's just doing it or alcohol" or "you couldn't move past a bad breakup with someone you were in love with" or "you're doing it in exchange for something else." That makes me wonder how many women have orgasms during intercourse if they don't feel like they're getting anything out of it without getting something extra from love to money to revenge.

I have been a stripper and a prostie. I became a stripper to be in a world of sexual women. I also set out to prove that stripping is no different from waitressing or bartending and I succeeded. I didn't become an alcoholic or a drug addict, I was professional, I was friendly and I had fun. I didn't make much but I made just as much as the other girls at all the clubs where I worked, from gentleman's club to neighborhood bar to dive (not in that order).

I became a prostie because I wanted to drop out of this sex-negative world, walk on the wild side, and live among outcasts. Though I didn't make an exorbitant amount of money, I enjoyed it and don't regret it, because I learned. I wouldn't do it again though, as I feel like I can do better than that, I know that you start to look old so you will have to be in society at some point so you might as well be there now, which brings me to my next survival strategy.

-You have to be a chameleon. That means being different things to different types of people, mirroring them, mentioning different parts of yourself to different people, while having one or two close friends who know everything about you and accept you, as you accept them. Some people think that's exhausting but I think that's invigorating. It helps me erase negative, intrusive thoughts and images of people psychoanalyzing me trying to figure out why I'm a woman who loves to fuck or even scarier obsessions like some control freak patriarch forcing me to become someone else. That will never happen because 1) if you're a chameleon no one sees *you* besides your two best friends, your fuck buddies, your swinger community, (your polyamorous long term relationships in the future) and your immediate family 2) I know that everyone gets disrespected so there's no point in trying to be something you're not, you will still get put down by someone, unless you live like me, invisible, shape shifter, camouflaged.

 

you may not have become an alcoholic or drug addict

but if you'd have caught aids when prostituted yourself

what would you have proved?

 

I realize that the other clear option is to just be yourself no matter who you're around and if they're someone you can call friend, they'll accept you regardless.

I feel like this is unrealistic. First of all, in America, everyone is so different that most people have only 2 friends and spend most of their time alone. Being alone isn't good for my mental condition because it allows, you know, idle minds are the devil's workshop. The less stimulation I have from other people, the worse I get. So that's the first part. The second problem with being myself regardless of who I'm around is that I've done things are could be arguably wrong, like I've had sex with 2 married men (I didn't know one was married but I did again once more after I found out then cut him off, the second one I didn't know and he's separated not married but I cut him off because he should get divorced before he plays the field. When I was a prostie I only slept with single men but that's another reason I wouldn't do it because you eventually have to sleep with a bunch of married men to make money). Imagine trying to explain that to a bunch of everyday average people. They either flat out won't believe you or they'll try to goad you on to be more of a "free spirit" or be more like that men who have no problem sleeping with married women, they'll push you and dare you. It's so sad to hang out with people who if they knew *you* in all likelihood they would harass you.

But when I went to a bi women's meetup group yesterday I felt so good socializing and talking so I figure the chameleon lifestyle is best for me and I should be glad that the following offline people see me:

-My mom
-My sister
-My best girl friend A.
-My best guy friend E.
-My fuck buddy T.
-My swinger community led by Big C.

That's more than enough people to express yourself with and that's just the core of me, there's a periphery that's untapped, my cultured side, my intelligent side, my third world side, my love side, etc.

 

I didn't become a prostitute to prove anything. I became one to drop out of society and get protection from liberal patriarchs who would be invested in me being sexual. I agree it was not a good idea. I got tested 2 weeks ago and I'm disease free.

I definitely lost interest when I was told that prostitutes are still in society and just have a different chosen profession. So there's no point. You share the same street as everyone else.

 

Here's what the urban dictionary says about chameleon personalities:

Personality Chameleon 10 up, 16 down
A person who changes his or her personality to fit those around him or her. Unfortunately for the personality chameleons: their efforts are often lame or seen right through.
"Ever notice how Neil changes his the way he talks and his likes or dislikes according to who he is hanging out with? That tool is such a personality chameleon."

-So maybe I ought to experiment with just being myself and trying to make more friends that way? I could even be myself at work? -Or should I just be glad I have two true friends and 2 other friends? And be more surface at work?

There were 16 thumbs down so maybe I should continue to be a chameleon....

 

i was just sprouting off from your alcohol/molester comment

just seems ironic all those things you wanted to dispel about the 'women who likes to fuck'

are things that may inevitably fall upon such women later on in life with the professions that they choose.

it's almost like you want to give yourself a second chance to get fucked up.

*shrugs*

however if you enjoy sex in the ways you say samantha

good luck to you and all the more better for it.

 

Yeah, I don't see any difference between you and anyone else who has decided to pursue and alternate lifestyle. If it works for you, then so be it - as long as you're not hurting anyone else. The whole chameleon thing - everyone does this to some extent. The whole "alone is the devil's workshop thing" - I don't buy into that. There is a danger, I think, in allowing other people to determine your entire inner life, even in the neat little compartments that you've arbitrarily assigned to yourself. So in answer to your original question - no and yes. Some people will always hate what isn't them, and some people will always worship what isn't them.

 

"In saying that though, I do also think it quite sad really that a person is so desperate to be liked that they'd feel they have to sacrifice their own opinions and morals to have that friendship....."

 

I don't think all men hate women who love to fuck. And I don't think there's anything wrong with women who love to fuck. Just because a woman likes to fuck, it doesn't make her a whore, slut, or what have you. I know two woman who love to fuck, but they only do it with their partner. They don't go around and fuck whoever has a cock.

 

Loving sex and what people perceive as promiscuity are 2 different things.

Yes there is a double-standard that if a woman enjoys sex she is somehow different, or wild, or bad, or whatever.

You can love fucking just one person, or a few, or however many you like.

Personally, I think a lot of people just feel threatened by a woman that loves sex and is unabashedly unashamed of it.

 

Very interesting threat, TheSamantha. Being different can make it very challenging to fit in. There is nothing wrong with being different from societal norms, in fact I think many of us are, but we cannot admit it in front of others because we fear to be despised. Believe me you are not alone being a chameleon to fit into society. However I don't think it is necessary to be a true chameleon, they don't have a personality, people without personality are really boring to be around and it doesn't fulfill your needs of social interactions either. No one expects you to display your intimate preferences, and who does it anyways? You know how many guys wear women's clothes, buy used panties, or are into pay-slavery? You think they talk about it, of course not. At least not to people that they know personally. And that is why online friendships become more and more popular, because here we can be what we really are, we can talk to people who are like us without being judged. Because lets face it, unless you are some boring person who follows society rules, you can't talk to everyone about you. Besides I think you have enough people around you, who you can talk to. It's better to have 2 good friends than 100 people who don't really care about you. Don't get me wrong, I know exactly what you talking about, I myself like to express my sexuality in, lets say, not ordinary ways, and I know the looks that you get from people when you talk to them about them.

 

there's nothing wrong with liking lots of sex

some of the time promiscuity is a way people deal with an emotional issue though , and it's not really positive for them

 

I see nothing wrong with it at all. It is nice to hear from someone who isn't afraid to say " I Love Sex ! "

 

"Whore" and "slut" are meaningless words really. In my mind, anyone who marries someone else for ANY degree of financial "security", power or affluence, is essentially practicing contractual prostitution, and thereby a "Whore". THERE IS NO DIFFERENCE. NONE. Ah, but we don't call them "Whores" (most of us don't anyway). And one person's "slut" is another person's "cheater". If you don't want to limit yourself to one sexual partner, at any given point in your life, so be it - just don't be deceptive about it, don't hurt people and why bother getting married, or remaining married, if monogamy is not your thing - especially if at least one person in that agreement has the expectation of monogamy?

You can define marriage however you like, but just make sure whoever you're married to understands and agrees with your definition, otherwise why the hell bother with it at all?

If one cheats because one gets some thrill out of potentially hurting someone, then that person is not a slut, that person is a sadist, and likely a socio/psychopath. I'm a tolerant person, but I can't tolerate people who take pleasure from hurting others and I do, and always will, consider them to be bad people and worthy of hatred. Having said that, I'm not talking about the sadist of the complicated "play" world of the bdsm. Clearly there are people who do take pleasure from hurting and being hurt/humiliated in a bdsm sense, but I do not consider the "sadist" in this sense to be a true sadist.

 

I don't have a partner. I am part of the swinger community and the bi community. I don't fuck whoever has a dick, but I do fuck a lot and different people. Does that make me a slut? And if so, is that a good thing?

 

I wonder why that is. Some people suggested that it's because women don't have to make any effort to get laid, whereas guys do. So it doesn't make her better but somehow it makes her worse. But gay men don't have to put forth ANY effort to get around and even be promiscuous, having sex with hundreds and sometimes even thousands of people! An escort said that it's because if all women enjoyed sleeping around, there would be no sex industry. But there are gay escorts, gay prostitutes, gay porn stars, gay nude models, gay strippers despite the amount of free sex available to gay men. I also read a quack evolutionary psychologist suggesting that if women liked to sleep around, there would be no civilization because people would do nothing but fuck. But there are gay fashion designers, gay interior designers etc. in spite of the fact that gays seem to do nothing but fuck.

So I have no idea why that is.

 

I agree with you about being ethical and not hurting people. It's wrong however you slice it.