Does a lack of foreplay cause you discomfort?

For me, sex wil hurt or feel raw if u don't get enough foreplay. I'm just wondering if there's any other women like me. It annoys me when people say go to a doctor when they hear of vaginal pain. I've been to doctors and get told the same damn thing. "I don't see anything wrong with you. Just make sure you're properly aroused and relaxed before something enters ". If I had a medical condition, I wouldn't be able to stick a 7 inch vibrator inside me. What helps me the most is having clitoral stimulation or having an orgasm before sex. Please tell me I'm not the only woman like this, or do most women just get right down to it with no pain? I also find that some guys are surprised that I need so much foreplay or may even need to use a vibrator before I get penetrated. Ive also never had a vaginal orgasm, and have only been able to orgasm through clitoral stimulation. am I some kind of rarity?

 

nah, you just haven't had the right partner... You gotta get them to gently slide their member into you, and let you feel their throbbing member between your legs, and when the precum starts to flow go back and forth ever so gently, just enough so the bloke doesn't lose his erection, feels awesome.. Let me know if you want a demonstration LOL...
j/k the wife would kill me!

 

What you're going through is the complete opposite of rare. In fact I'd go out on a limb and say your situation is the most common.

Most women I've been with needed at least 30-60 minutes of foreplay alone.

I think since the invention of the internet, there are more guys who do know how to pleasure a girl and how to properly handle themselves in the bedroom, compared to men of previous decades.

But I still think overall guys tend to b rush penetration too soon.


Might I ask how much foreplay you need on average?

 

I lick my food before I stick my fork in it..

 

I think is pretty common too.

 

Don't worry hun ,your completely normal. You just need to make sure you have a partner that will give you plenty of foreplay.Some woman more time in that area than others, but it is a know fact that it takes woman longer to get to the ready to point than it does men.SO there for don't let the guy you are with rush you through it all , let him know you need longer foreplay before you guys start or otherwise it will only cause you pain & won't be able to enjoy it. Any man should understand this, if he don't I would send him packing. lol..

Good Luck with everything !!!

 

From a male's POV: I say foreplay is very important for both partners. Tell your partner that you need the foreplay, and explain why. Be open and honest with him. Tell him what gets you wet and ready to be penetrated.

 

:iagree: I am with orison.

 

I'm also wondering if older men are more likely to understand. There were times where I thought I was ready for penetration, but my body was saying "no". I've been doing exercises to help relax my vaginal muscles, and they seem to be working. I can insert my vibrator now without needing to orgasm. My current sex partner is very large, and I'm having difficulties taking him in. He understands that I need a lot of foreplay, but it hasn't been working. My medical doctor said I haven't had kids, so my vagina isn't equipped to take in a large penis?

 

Hmmm.. Not sure what that has to do with anything. Vaginas are like penises... Come in all shapes and sizes.. My wife is a bit on the small side, which is perfectly alright for me!

:afro:

 

Maybe his penis is too big for me? I don't know. Some people say that a woman's vagina expands when fullly aroused and can take any size. I get tense everytime he enters me.

 

Hi, have you tried a good lubricant? I say that because some women need that and foreplay stimulates the release of natural lubricant.

 

That would probably be due to nerves, and your sub-conscious bracing yourself for the expected pain.

Because your brain is associating a certain point in sex with discomfort, so you are tensing your vaginal muscles involuntarily most likely.

A good question to ask is where are you emotionally through all the stages of sex?

 

Monk-I'm not in a serious relationship with this man, so that might be it. I use lube all of the time, but find that it doesn't always work if my muscles aren't relaxed. I started using ky jelly, which I think is better than astroglide. Or maybe I need way more lube than I'm using. In my last serious relationship, sex was very easy. No pain at all.

 

It's a mental block most likely.

I think a part of you just isn't comfortable with this guy for whatever reason, or perhaps it's not the guy himself, but the climate of where you are in the relationship.

Your mind-body connection just isn't comfortable with intimacy with someone you aren't serious with or pursuing something meaningful maybe.

Listen to yourself, you knows best.

 

We discussed ending things. He said I put too much pressure on myself to make sex work. I think it was just not meant to be. I'm envious of women that are able to spread their legs to just anyone with no pain.

 

Don't get down on yourself, there are ups and downs to both.
We all tend to think the grass is greener on the other side, when in reality it usually isn't.

 

My friend did say that not everyone can get off on bj's, facials and rim jobs like I do. Some women find these acts gross, but these are my favorite acts. The women that I know who sleep around ironically don't enjoy these acts. They focus on vaginal penetration only and being eaten out. That's not my idea of good sex.

 

Amen.

I do enjoy good ol penetration, but you gotta spice things up sometimes with a good ol' bj or handjob in between. And handjobs are amazing for men and women alike. You can actually do mutual handjobs and make it a contest, the person who comes first is the loser and has to do whatever the other wants next... It's great fun, and you really learn what sets your partner off

:afro:

 

If I'm giving someone a handjob, I would get bored and just want to blow them.

I need to keep my mouth busy during sex. Maybe that's why I get lost and distracted during penetration and receiving oral sex.

Even when I'm at work, I will notice my tongue wanting to lick something.