i don't know if this is really a confession or a problem, but anyway, i'm finding it harder and harder to socialize. whenever i go out with friends i don't talk much anymore and just get quiet and real still. i just have absolutely no clue what to say! and it makes people uneasy and then i get uncomfortable and paranoid, but i can't do anything about it. i'm kinda shy but i have no problem talking to strangers or anything like that, i just never know what to say, ever. at first i decided to just take some me time and didn't go out too much for a couple months. i felt really comfortable by myself. but now when i'm alone i just think about how i can't socialize! baah!
dont worry about it....a lot of ppl find it that way....what if the conversation wasmore interesting and less template?
have faith in yourself and in the person you are. don't worry about being too quiet or about not being something for someone else. maybe you need a boost of self assurance. i'm sure you are a wonderful person and wonderful people do not always need to be extra talkative. take the time you need by yourself and don't put yourself under pressure. also remember that as we age and move through life we change. sometimes those changes take us away from the groups and people we once assimilated ourselves with. maybe you don't fit with one group of people they way you once did. have faith in the person you are.
well, ok, yeah, i still like to get into good conversations about interesting topics, which is the only relief i've gotten in the past year or so, but i'm getting tired of it as wierd as that sounds. i WANT the mindless, everyday conversations people have. when i see people sitting around talking, who never run out of things to say, who know what to say to make people comfortable, i want that!
You're not alone. =) Many people (you and myself included) just aren't born with that natural "Player's Wit" as I call it.
some of them dont even have players wit.....i think i understand how you feel.... and i think it will pass as you learn more about yourself...and find a new niche as such... it's not a problem, just a life
yemforbin, I know how you feel. Ive been like that my whole life... its lonely and scary. but slowly iM learning how to not be so shy... thanks to my friends at school...They even drug me out to a house party. I started just doing little things and one on one things with people and slowly im getting a little bit braver and tis getting easier... I doubt that helped you at all... what im trying to say is try little stuff at first if it really bothers you but do what makes you happy because in the end you are all taht you have.
nothing wrong with being a little anti social. all you really need is one or two really good friends that you feel comfortable with. unless you arent one of those kinds of people. in that case, your screwed.
Man, i am in exactly the same position right now, and it sucks...It's really hard when we cant control it, and our friends expect us to be the same as we always were. In my situation, it's more having trouble relating to people...but for some reason strangers and I, well lol..we get along just fine. Sometimes i think the lack of words, is caused by the amount of this intense overload of thoughts...words buzzing too fast to speak them, or just digging the whole observation thing.. It gets awkward eh.. The more and more i hang with myself, the more comfotable I get..the more independent I get..but the more lonley, but trying to teach yourself how to socialize just makes everything so much worse. All i can suggest is signing up for something, like an art class...or yoga?..It's kind of helped me with the lack of interaction, It's not like I can snap myself back into the phaze of effortless socializing...as much as I would love to. I dont really have any close friends right now, and those who I have been close to have always been a lot older than me...moving off..going to school..some even married..I've kind of just come to terms with it, the socialize thing...it'll happen when it happens..till then keep on keeping on, and doing the things that make ya happy..hope everything works out! I think it happens to certain people for a reason..and however harsh it is being in this awkward little bubble it's good to have the thought, that this will get you somewhere.
i am the same way...i wasnt for awhile, but i am extremly now. I as well can not relate well to the people i know... they talk alot about their past experiences that i werent involved in and about music or activities i dont do. In fact, i always concider myself as the speechless guitarest. I have no words to say to my friends, all i wish is to play a song for them...but even doing that is impossible. They request the same song over and over and over...and its fun for a while, but now im just sick and tired of playing the same old shit.
I am with Gertie on this one......and see that most of the replies here came from a particular age group. All of you are really young yet, and thus still learning who you really are inside, thus interests change and friends change..... Unless you have a serious issue being somewhat anti social is not necessarily a bad thing & just try not to analyze it too much. I am going on 40 and lemme tell ya, I used to want to hang in a crowd all the time and anymore I am content hanging out with only a couple close friends and not a crowd of people. Less BS that way and others problems don't become intertwined in my life where they have no place to begin with. It's called, keeping life simple! We all grow and change no matter our ages. If you aren't growing or changing then you aren't living life to its potential! Ya have to be comfortable with yourself before you can be comfortable with others! Just be true to you! Hugs, Sunshine & Smiles! SummerNymphO
