Hi, I'm 23 and have only had two boyfriends. One was for about 3 months and we didn't do anything. My current boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months. We are both still virgins but do everything but intercourse. Long story short, with everything that he does to me which includes fingering, oral sex and using a vibrator on my clitoris I have still never had an orgasm. As I said, I've only been in a relationship with one other guy so I have no experience and he has never been in a relationship before me at all and therefore also has no experience. I'm not sure what I can do about this. He does research online things that he can do to me and he has changed his routine over the last couple of months but as I said nothing seems to be doing anything. I give him both hand jobs and blow jobs and he is able to come from both of those every time. I'm the one left unsatisfied every time and I don't know what to do. I feel bad because he is working hard but at the same time he is also not getting any results. Don't get me wrong, what he does feels great and he can definitely tell that from my response but it just it going far enough and it's killing me. Is there anyone who can help me out? I really want this to happen for a number of reasons and I'm all out of ideas. Thanks in advance for the help.
Well I never had an orgasm until my second long-term (and current) boyfriend. Clitoral is easy..I can get that with running water. His tongue does a good job for that one. Now the g-spot is tougher for me. Only had it once...and I was plastered so I hardly remember it. But it was so powerful I cried. LOL! Been about a year since that once; maybe I need to get drunk again.
I've tried many times and many differenr ways to get myself off and I haven't been able to. I think that's also the problem.
Where are you mentally with these things? Try to play around with dirty thoughts in your mind. See what you can do by yourself before you involve someone else in the mix. Your thoughts and emotions (emotions from the day, from the relationship) can heavily influence the ability to come, and also the strength and duration of the orgasm.
Yes. For a fee you can hire my services. As an experienced sex guru :sultan:, I can provide personalized sex training sessions for the both of you. Satisfaction (and orgasms) guaranteed!
Well, I have been a little stressed w/ the fact that it hasn't happened yet but otherwise I am right in the moment and the mood whether I am by myself or w/ my boyfriend. My one friend said that I want it too much and that's why it isn't happening. I think its because I can't stay still long enough. Especially when he uses the vibrator, it is so intense I can't stay in one position long enough for him to use it on my clit enough for one to happen.
Sounds like he needs to learn your body language, and if it's intense to go with the flow. unless you mean intense as in painful, then you just gotta stop. But if you start bucking up and down and getting close to a raging orgasm he needs to just needs to learn how to keep that vibrator going on it...
Yeah, I think he is definitely getting better at know what feels good to me but it seems a little difficult for him and he seems bored a lot of the times (even though he says he's not). It's intense as in feeling good and I know that if I can just stay still long enough that intensity will lead to an orgasm. He also seems to have trouble keeping the vibrator in the perfect spot. Like I said, his focus also doesn't always seem to be where it needs to be and therefore it moves when I move and gets out of the perfect spot.
It would be way to easy to over analyze your situation. Suffice it to say that until you can give yourself an orgasm, you're probably going to have problems with someone else doing it. So, how do you give yourself one? I would plan it out first. Take a day when you have nothing planned and can be in a warm, comfortable, cozy place. Make it as pleasant and as erotic as you can...perhaps candles, some nice music, and no distractions. Unplug or turn off the phone. Then take a long shower or luxurious bath. Pour yourself some wine that you savor. What turns you on the most? I'm sure you have some idea. Perhaps its showering together, perhaps its his (or her) fingers or mouth on your body, perhaps its kissing. Begin to fantasize about it. Put yourself in the most sensual situation you can imagine. Let your fingers begin to wander anywhere that feels good. You might want to build up some anticipation by not touching your genitals right away. You could create a scenario that you've fantasized about, him (or her) seducing you, taking their time turning you on, making you feel so good that you're the object of their affection. Don't put any stress on yourself. This is your day and you have hours to spend on yourself. Just enjoy the feel of your body. You might want to use toys, perhaps not. This isn't a race to an orgasm, it's treating yourself to total sensual enjoyment. You might want to watch some porn that has previously excited you...perhaps scenes of masturbation. Maybe a book or magazine that describes some scenes that turn you on. Take all thoughts of having an orgasm as a "necessity" out of your mind. The more pressure you put on yourself, the harder it will be to get there. If you take a day and it doesn't happen, don't worry about it. Just plan another day. You will have some pleasure and learned what does or doesn't work. Try something different unless you believe that something started to excite you but didn't take you over the top. Give it another try, perhaps for a longer period, or try another position. I'm sure you'll be fine, and that your body will respond. When it does, you might slide over the top never want to come back to earth.
I'll definitely try that but it will be a little difficult. I still live at home (trying to save money) and don't exactly have the place to myself very often. I have watched some porn and I feel it definitely gets me in the mood, at least a little bit. I love my wine and can easily take care of that part. I'm just so nervous that if I'm not able to do it to myself that he never will be able to do it to me. It is a shame, because we love each other so much and I know he is trying everything in order to pleasure me and most of the time I feel bad that I'm not having one because it means he couldn't make it happen for me.
Have you tried the tub fosset on your crotch method with warm water while you relax? (make sure the water is NOT HOT) Lots of girls discover their first orgasms that way, perhaps it might work for you.
mt89, see if you can find a place where you can "vacation." Sometimes, people need house sitters when they go on vacation, or you might be able to find a friend with a time share they would rent for a very low cost, particularly at the end of the year when they might lose access to the unit if they have not used it by Dec. 31. Perhaps you have a friend who wouldn't mind you using their apartment or house for some time away from your family (we all need that time, don't we?). You mentioned that you're nervous about this process. Those nerves might block you from achieving the big O on your own. Relax...this is perfectly natural and WILL happen. Try to not set a deadline for having your first O or putting unnecessary stress on yourself. I know it's easier said than done, sometimes. Perhaps you could talk to a therapist who is much more skilled in this area than many people on here. We all need help occasionally and because this is important to you, it may be worth the effort. You could begin by talking to your gynecologist who might be able to give you a referral to someone skilled in this area. By saying this, I'm not implying that there is anything wrong with you. If I need help in an area that is beyond my expertise, I often consult with others more skilled to learn things.
