Mad at partner for masturbating?

my girlfriend and I have a very dull sex life. She caught me once after I asked her to give me a blowjob and she doesn't do that. She was pissed!!! Of course it made me feel like a complete perv (which I am).

Me on the other hand, I am very sexual and I would love to walk in on her masturbating, I think it would be a major turn on.

 

are you allowed to take a dump or does that infuriate her too?

 

If the need arises I just rub one out in the shower. No fuss no muss.

 

You are not alone. My husband feels offended whenever I tell him that I was masturbating. I mean whats the deal? I don't care if he does, why can't I do it if I feel like it. Of course I would still masturbate whenever I feel like (given he is not home), but now I don't tell him that anymore. Isn't it not enough that, by marrying, we give up sex with other people? Why should be give up sex with ourselves?

 

maybe the "will i still be allowed to masturbate" talk is one that should be had prior to marrying someone.

 

No, married people shouldn't give up sex with themselves.

They should give up using it as if they were saying "You won't do what I want, I'm going to go play with Mr. Hand."

Code:

I asked her to give me a blowjob and she doesn't do that.

And the masturbator should be aware non-Masturbator can feel that masturbation indicates that non-M is insufficient or bad in bed.

I'm not talking about the masturbator, but what the non-masturbator (masturbatrix?) thinks is the reason for the masturbation.

Consider a situation where one partner has a medical issue that effects their sex lives. If they find their partner masturbating, they might think "oh, good. Partner is having fun." or they might think "Its not my fault that Partner has to resort to that" or "why did Partner let me see that. I know they want sex, why did they have to remind me that I'm insufficient. Why do they have to nag me." Or perhaps all three thoughts will flash through the mind in some order.

Even if there isn't an illness, similar thoughts can come to mind.

People who engage in "pouty masturbation" (e.g. she won't blow me, I'll have to use my hand) shouldn't be surprised if their partner isn't happy about the pout. Nor should one be surprised that their partner sometimes ascribes inaccurate reasons to why one is masturbating alone.

Plus there is always the "why didn't you invite me" component.

I'm adding my vote to the "communication" crowd. But I think we need to both forgive our partners for masturbating and not inviting us (if we feel mad about it) and forgive them for feeling mad about it (if we are the masturbators.) Especially forgive them for having feelings that we wish they didn't have.

(Good morning, welcome to my first cup of coffee )

 

Well you're probably right. To be honest, it didn't even occur to me to discuss such a topic. Why? Because I think masturbation is essential for healthy sexuality. And I assumed that this is something that everyone would agree on, but I had to find out that people can take it personally and be offended by it. It just sucks!

 

Well this does not apply to me, I am not masturbating because I am not getting sexually what I want, when I want. I just like it. I am having sex for so many years with the same man, always being faithful, so why not masturbate for a change?
Masturbation is not cheating and it doesn't harm anyone. If a woman doesn't want to have sex with her partner, then the man has the right to get sexual satisfaction through masturbation.

 

I had an issue with that. My ex went mad about it -.- I like masturbating myself but he thought that he was the only one that should touch me... I was like wtf dude?!

 

I can barely get an erection while standing up, let alone masturbate in the shower.

 

as long as you have a combination shower/bathtub, you can always sit down in the shower.

 

There may be a lot going on there... one thing that happens a lot after kids come along is that the parents sex life takes a dump, and it isn't necessarily that the wife no longer wants sex. Very often it's because a combination of body changes and exhaustion make her feel profoundly unsexy, which is a horrible feeling! In that case, catching her partner masturbating will reinforce the feeling like she's inadequate and undesirable and she may be upset mostly because she feels like everything has gone to hell.

I would suggest, if you are not doing this already, making sure your wife has time to herself. Some couples don't have trouble with this, but many do. My suggestion is that on different days each week, you make sure she has one evening to herself, one afternoon to herself, and one morning to herself, when either you take care of the kids and house, ship them to a grandparent, or hire someone to care for them. In addition to that, make one night a week date night, when the two of you go out together. If you haven't gone on any dates recently (since you had kids, for example) that might feel awkward at first, and you might find that you talk about the kids a lot. Make a rule that you can't talk about the kids, the house, or anything practical; you're on a date. Go see music together, or dinner and a movie, or go to Trivia Night, or karaoke, or go dancing. Things where she gets dressed up are ideal. This gives her a chance to feel sexy again, and a chance for you to court her again, a process that tends to turn both people on. How do you feel about leaving your pretty wife at the end of the bar while you go use the bathroom, and come back to see some guy flirting with her? I bet it would make her feel good; attractive, alive, and sexy!

A huge part of the point of making sure you have date night AT LEAST once a week (if it's feasible I recommend going out together more often than that) is to reconnect on a fun level, so that you and your wife become better friends, and look forward to spending time together. After a couple of months of having a weekly date night, when you are feeling that connection more and flirting again, arrange a weekend away if you can afford it. You don't want to do it too early on, or it will just be awkward and feel strange and obligatory, but after she has spent some time reconnecting with herself as a person aside from being a mom, and the two of you have spent some time reconnecting with each other, it will be a fun romp of a getaway.

 

I love masturbating, if i feel like doing it, i will, regardless, it sounds selfish but hey! lifes a bitch sometimes.

 

Selfish like eating. I mean, I eat when I'm hungry, how selfish is that?

 

I walked in on my husband while he was enjoying some computer porn. I acted like I didn't see the screen and went on about my business. A little freaked, not sure why as I been doing it for years. (Don't need to look at porno) It made me hot but also made me bothered. I checked his computer and he had Chrome on with his history locked..smart devil. Can seem to get that part out of my mind. So, any advise from you guys out there. Thought maybe, I might have to send him some similar pics of me. You think that might get his mind off it? I know, probably not. Any suggestions?

 

I don't like sexting or any form of digital image sharing, but that's because I know how the images are sent, databased, and sold.

So you have to be ok with the idea that any nude images you take and send with technology today are public. If you're ok with that sure go ahead.

But I'd go with the old fashioned face to face in real life flirting (back rubs, flat out telling him you want sex)

 

Well normally no but if I want some and u would rather handle it urself then I need to look at myself and wonder where I went wrong. I'm not happy when I need to do some self reflection it is not a fun thing.

 

I quite like the idea of my wife wanking. The thing is she says she doesn't do it when I'm not there. I try telling her I don't mind and find it horny. She has lots of toys but only seems to want to use them when I'm there. They are there for her to use when she is alone too

 

You must make her horny.

 

Only if she's in a PTA meeting. Other than that,not my body.