So years and years ago, like Elementary school level, me and my best friend (also male) "experimented". We discovered the wonders of the Internet, (porn) and we kissed each other. This went on for at least a month, and then it started to get serious, we would go under the covers and touch each other. At the time, it felt great. Then once, before we started to drift apart. He asked to suck on me just for a few seconds because he saw it, and wanted to try it. After a minute or so of convincing, he did, for a few seconds. I was amazed at how good it felt. We then went our different ways and I started to jack off. I felt guilty about that for the longest time, I'm now well in to my sophomore year at high school, and for the longest time I've been only attracted to girls. However, a few weeks ago, the memories I had tried so hard to block, came flooding back. At first I felt guilt, and that he took advantage of me. But then I realized I wanted it to. Now I'm not completely disgusted by the sight of a penis, and I even get turned on watching man on man. However, I'm not actually attracted to a man's face, or chest or whatever. I don't really want a relationship with another guy, but at the same time, if another male asked if I wanted to fuck, I may say yes. I don't mind the idea of assplay, in fact, I'm kind of turned on by it. Am I just fucked up sexually? Am I just desperate because I'm a virgin and I'd get laid by just about anything? I don't know, but it's been bothering me. Anyway, sorry for the wall of text.
You're not fucked up sexually at all! I'd say you're normal. You're human. Plenty of guys are turned on by the same thing as you, even without ever getting as far as you have. I'd say keep yourself open. If you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable. If you don't like someone, you don't like them. You're not attracted to them. Are you attracted to every single girl you meet? No. And that's the same with boys, so what. If you really want to try to find out what you do like though, check out some Male to Female gals. Or Shemales. They're so beautiful. I'm sure you'll like them. Just play with the idea, play with yourself. Get to know yourself, and what you like. You're normal, and it will all be okay. :hurray:
There is absolutely nothing to feel guilty about! You are a young guy exploring your sexuality. Noting more and nothing less... Be respectful of both your partners and yourself in every possible way. But live your life, free of guilt, shame or anything of the kind. Sexuality a perfectly natural, integral part of human beings. As soon as you adopt the attitude that you mind your own business, and you ask other people to do the same, things will get easier on all the parties involved. KD
like the two previous posters, no not at all - you are fucked up by society and historical modes - explore, live your life and don't get fucked up by repressing your natural desires. Good luck, Simon
Dude, you're a sophomore in high school. You're still really young, and this is a very confusing time for guys your age. We've all been there. Don't get hung up on "whys" and "what ifs", work on being you and everything will make sense eventually. You're not sexually fucked up, i'd say most guys go through periods like this in their life. Some take years and years to come to terms with what it is exactly they want, it's a process. I'd say you're completely normal.
