I have a friend whom I have known for more than 20 years. Last spring, after not talking for a few years (not because of drama, just drifted apart) we were both separated and getting divorced. So, we started dating. After a few months she decided to try and save her marriage. She is back with her husband now, but she wants me to be her booty call. The hard part is that I still love her, and she says she still loves me, but cant leave her husband. We have met a few times since she got back together with him. So far we have only made out a little, but she says she needs more and cries every time we have to part ways. It tears me apart, and I know I should just walk away, I'm trying. She even says that I should be out looking for someone else, but still see her if I find someone! I have to wonder if she just wants to keep me around in case things don't work out? Any ideas, or suggestions?
Just walk away! U need to live ur life not hers u need to make ur life whole and u need to go out and find someone who wants to be with u in the light not behind someone else's back if she really loved u or her husband she would leave him and be with u but she is selfish and wants to have her cake and eat it too and that's not right she is playing with people's hearts hopes dreams and desires do nit fall Into her trap do not play her game
Everything said here is correct! She is dragging you along for selfish reasons and you can do way better then that. Even if she left him again and was with you she would cheat on you as well. People that cheat are worthless. I was in your shoes a few years ago having to start over. It will get better and you will find a good person. Do not settle for being an ego booster for some insecure selfish bitch. Find your self a respectfull girl that doesn't live a shitty life of lies and betrayal.
That, pretty much sums up the answer to quite a few things here. You should consider quoting that in your sig.
I have to agree man, you should be free and those you love should love you freely, not conditionally. Otherwise it ain't love in my opinion.
Why are people like you not more common on the web? Trolls seem to be taking over... But at least not totally.
I am all for people being in open relationships, swinging or just not being in a commited relationship and sleeping around! Whatever turns their crank. It is all good. That is their choice and the people they play with choice. People that cheat on the other hand are worthless shitty people in my eyes, because there is another person on the other end of that equation that does not deserve to have that done to them. Pretty sure that if the tables were turned and the cheaters were having it done to them they would not be so cool about it.
Regardless of the outcome I have to agree that it will likely be uncomfortable on both sides. Still I recommend the OP should at least consider the many postings before making a final decision.
There's too many emotions for this to go well for either of you. The pain that you'll feel will likely get worse. For now.....let her go.
I've noticed a lot of women/posters lately that have BOUNCED as soon as a man told her some 'romantic shit' like "you're my best friend. I love you." I think you guys are more commitment phobe than us. Or perhaps your fear is sabotaging your own relationships. How critically have you thought this? Did you really want to leave because the male caught feelings>?
I'm not sure fear of commitment is accurate. It's more like.....lets enjoy each other, do fun things, and let it flow.
seems like they tend more toward the extremes. you have the one group who make a big deal out of wanting nothing but casual sex (although you have to keep in mind that a certain percentage of this group are guys posting their fantasies, and a certain percentage are probably just posting what they think guys want to hear). then there's the other group that posts "i'm 18 years old and got divorced from my second husband last week, and yesterday my boyfriend asked me to marry him! yay!!!!" and of course there's plenty in the middle as well.
remember you were friends for 20 years prior to this, this is a giant can of worms my man,, grab a fork
I think this is the reason as well. And it works so well with the bad guys who don't want to reveal too much about themselves but want the "fun sex" before dumping or abusing and moving on without saying "I love you". Just saying. Nice guys shouldn't say "I love you", until she has already said it a couple times first.
If there is any dumping or moving on by a bad guy or a good guy, it was inevitable no matter what the process was. Some don't mind the fun sex while they figure it out.
Of course, but I was obviously talking about what I believe based on what I've personally witnessed as the mainstream reaction trend. It's just, I know some people who thought they were ok with it, but it was having a subconscious negative affect on them; they couldn't see it but I and the rest of their (a her in this case) friends could.
Wow, thanks folks! I did put an end to it. She was cool after I explained to her how I felt. We have lots of mutual friends in our little scene and it's good that we all get along. On another note, I ran into an old girlfriend from high school. Havent seen her in 21 years. We have been spending some time getting to know each other again. Everything is turning out ok so far.
