Needing help with saying "no' to sex

There's this guy I met online, and we've been talking off and on for about 6 years now.
He's 20+ years older than me, and has a very aggressive sexual side.
Anyway, we'd talk a lot online about things, and when you're behind a computer screen and watching porn all the time, your inhibitions definitely weaken (as I'm sure we all know).
This guy lives about 30 mins away from me, and recently we started chatting again (it always goes in spurts), and we've finally been able to arrange to meet so he came out to my place.
He was very, very aggressive with a lot of things, which I can't really complain about because it's what I asked for (I said before "no safe word"), and I didn't enjoy our encounter at all -- in fact, I was counting down till he left. I tried stopping it, but I was way in over my head. Finally, he left. He clearly had a good time and wanted to meet again. I told him I didn't think I was ready for this kind of thing, and not really one for random hook ups anymore.
At first he was fine with that, then he kept sending me dirty text messages and whatnot. I kind of gave short answers but was finally like "Look, I'm really not ready for a sexual relationship. I'm sorry, I know this sucks for you, but I'm not."
So he started getting mad, laying guilt trips on me like how we've been talking so much and all he did was give me what I wanted. Then he started calling me names, and saying how I just used him like a sex object (which is completely rediculous) and he feels betrayed and thrown to the curb now.
But in all honesty, that was not my intention!! I tried it out and didn't like it, but he doesn't like that so he's laying guilt trip after guilt trip on me, saying how he's going to delete me out of his phone (thank goodness!), but keeps sending me texts.
I replied again "Listen, you're reading too much into this - I'm just not ready for a sexual relationship and don't want random hook ups anymore". So then he's all "You never even gave me a chance to show you my softer side and you're just writing me off because I'm older for a relationship"
FML!!!!
I told him he was reading too much into things, and I'm sorry he's mistaking all that to it boiling down to me not being ready to be sexually active.
After that, he left me alone but started texting me again this afternoon about how horrible of a person I am and how I've lead him on all this time. Ok, to clarify - he and I had both been in other relationships/hook ups the whole time we've been chatting! So I know that he hasn't been "waiting for me".
It's just soooo frustrating. All I replied to him today was "Hey I thought you said you were going to stop texting me? I highly suggest you do so." and haven't heard back since.
But it's like i'm on pins and needles right now whenever I get a text message from someone.
And when we were together that day, we went for lunch before hand and he kept touching my leg etc. and I told him I wasn't into PDA, but he kept doing it to irritate me. And when we got back to my place, I said we need to keep it quiet because the walls are thin, but that didn't stop him from making noise - and he was doing it to piss me off I could tell. I don't really want to bring all this up to him because he'll just think I'm "attacking" him again; and I'm trying to not talk to him at all.
Now he's threatening to out me to some people, which isn't all that huge of a deal I guess, because I'm not completely in the closet to everyone - I just don't think it's anyone's business, and I try steering clear of the gay scene around here because of all the drama it entails.
Any help???

 

If he brings up sex.. it's simple.. you say no..

If he gives you problems, then he can fuck off, he doesn't respect you and is only using you in an attempt to get sex

Unless that's what you want, but I'm gonna guess by your thread title that you don't

 

Thanks.
No it's not what I want, but he's not getting that. He just keeps texting me and laying guilt trips on me for saying no, because after "all this time" of me wanting it, I've changed my mind.
Then he says I'm just being a game player, but I'm not. If I was, I wouldn't have agreed to meet up with him to try it out and see where it went.

Such a huge FML.

 

It's not even remotely an FML. Who cares what he thinks? He needs to get over it and if he can't respect that you've changed your mind then you need to remove him from your life and let him get on with his

 

I guess my question is how do I get him out of my life if he keeps texting me and whatnot?

 

cut contact already!

this guy sounds an obsessive personality with a stalkerish trait thrown in somewhere. you're not accomplishing anything by trying to reason with him. keeping communicating with him might actually make him think you want to still be in contact (why else would you bother?). the best thing you can do is cut all contact. if he finds ways to look you up after that, he's a stalker.

 

how difficult is it to delete texts without even reading them?

 

This guy has no respect for you, and knows exactly what he is doing. Stay away from control freaks. Anyone that will not respect your wishes is not worth your time. You don't owe him an explanation, you owe yourself one.

 

That's true, I don't owe him an explanation, I guess I just wanted to tidy loose endings ya know? But you guys were right; I've given up replying to him. He's texted me about three times since, but I just delete them.

Thanks guys

I think I also just needed to vent too.

I just hope he doesn't show up at my door one day, or I see him on the street and he starts making a stink. :S

 

Turn Your Phone OFF....



Cheers Glen.

 

Lol, I can't just keep my phone off all the time! It's my lifeline as I have no landline.