Personal and spiritual development with psychedelics

Exactly one year ago I tried 4-ho-met, and had my first trip ever.
Sadly my first experience was with a RC-drug, but at least it really was a pretty good trip.

This year alone I have had E, MDMA, Acid and Shrooms for the first time. I also started smoking pot at a fairly regular basis.

I hardly recognize the person I was back in 2011 and this year has been some kind of awakening for me. I had been unhappy for such a long time. All the goals and dreams I had, where just planted by others. I was not a thinking individual; I was just going with the flow, driven by trying to live up to expectations. It´s scary looking back and reading old journal entries; and realizing how miserable I was without even noticing it. I was prepared to accept this miserable life, I was prepared to "live life by the rules" and follow the masses.

Nevertheless, I think it´s important to remember who you are and where you came from. You can never delete a part of your life; and you should never want to do that. Every choice you ever made has made you into the person you are today. I know this sounds like a lame cliché, but you should never be too hard on yourself. Why spend energy on regretting your past, it´s just not worth it. Instead, look at who you´ve become and be proud of yourself.

I used to be into mindless "partying". Drinking alcohol, get really drunk. Spending almost every sunday hungover. The worst part with drinking was probably that it just temporarily relieved my anxiety, but then it hit twice as hard afterwards. I have almost quit drinking alcohol completely. I have a beer at times, sometimes a drink or two.

I can enjoy alcohol, but I have no interest in spending time at clubs or festivals with a lot of drunk people; that rules out most of the events where I´m from. (Swedes like to drink, and they always drink too much...)

There is absolutely nothing wrong with partying and drinking, but I just felt that I´ve had enough of all of that. Weed has maybe in some ways become a substitute for alcohol in my case. Weed kind of "numbs" the mind, but it has helped me thinking over everything better. With alcohol you just "stop" thinking, there is no therapeutic effect at all... I try and have periods where I don't smoke for a couple of days now and then. But besides my short time memory; I can only say that I feel better with weed. On a side note, I have whiplash and I used to have migraines, headache, terrible pain in my neck. I rarely have headaches nowadays, no migraines at all, and I´ve been able to stay away from strong painkillers.

The mayor changes probably all came after having LSD at a festival this summer, I finally felt my connection to the earth. It took a while to settle down, but now, almost 5 month later I feel responsibility for our planet, I feel like I can make a difference. During the festival (Ozora) where I took LSD, I went to several really wonderful "series of lectures and experiences about the Evolution of Consciousness and Human Transformation utilizing the Wheel of Wisdom as a tool."; it was great taking in this inspiring words and being nurtured with so many wisdoms during this crazy week with LSD and MDMA.

The week I spent at the festival was an very overwhelming experience; I think that was the turning point. I came back home, and I truly felt completely changed, newborn, revived. I used to be very very messy, I didn't care about my surroundings. But since the festival I try and clean my room once in a while, I feel good having my things organized. That really is a big change because trust me, I used to be INCREDIBLY messy.

I´ve been really happy the last six months, but every year before I´ve spent the entire last months of the year in a pretty bad state of depression. I have kept an dreamjournal this entire year, didn't write down every single dream, but I have an overall look. I continue having dreams even though I smoke weed; and I work on lucid dreaming. It´s really hard for me having lucid dreams, but I´ve made progress!

I´ve read a lot of books on dream interpretation; from a psychologically point of view. Reading these books does not make me an expert at all, but it has helped me to understand my dreams. And to judge from my dreams; I have made a lot of progress this year.

It might not be any progress measurable in amount of money earned, or degrees earned, but I have somewhere in this weird year been able to find myself. A year ago my dreams told me that I was lost, I had no direction. I often had the same dream. There has been a lot going on since then, the recurring dream is long gone, overall my dreams tell me a whole different story now.

All of a sudden there was a purpose in life; and the purpose is revealing itself a little more day by day.

There have been so many new experiences this year. It all started something inside of me, and I think that 2013 will be all about getting to know myself again. I am grateful that I came across psychedelics, and I strongly believe in the incredibly healing powers that they contain.

I have old friends who are against all sort of drugs; they would probably say that the drugs already have made me delusional and insane if they read this. But I can truly say that I feel better, I feel better "for good"; I feel "healed". I will never go back to my old way of life.

Surely I´m not the only person who´s life has been changed by psychedelics. I would love to hear your stories!

 

Oh well, you're far from being a lonely case! My life has been changed by acid too, it litterally healed me from my addiction to morphine a few years ago. You can read the trip report there if you're curious: http://www.hipforums.com/newforums/showthread.php?t=427879&f=117

Cheers!

 

It's true. I was basically healed with LSD (after intense combat and other issues) a number of years ago.

Re the matter of personal development, this thread seems like a good place to share what happened about 2 weeks ago toward the end of a mild cactus (SP) experience.

I was lying on the bed in late afternoon and my wife came in and bent over me to kiss me and I saw her true beauty. We fell in love >50 years ago and I've always seen her beauty, but this was so intense and sparkling. I made a re-commitment to her then (which I told her about last night). It's a deep understanding of "til death do us part" - I feel like I'm in a new stage of life.

It's amazing medicine isn't it!!!