I am afraid of being a parent

Yeah, you are right to the extent that one can easily have children in the late 30's but again, if I go up to that age without having kids, then I would prefer to go along without having any kids.

I just want to stay away from responsibilities maybe but at the same time, I am afraid of being alone in the later years of my life.

 

Yeah, when I look at some of my childless-by-choice friends, I wonder how they will feel when they are older and alone.
A family is a lot of work, but it is also an investment.

 

I know you are very very true and ^ that is exactly what my mom says. "A family is a lot of work, but it is also an investment". This is the best line, I have heard from someone. And this is also a very tricky thing to handle. Perhaps one of the most important aspects in life. This is the reason why I am really apprehensive about this thing.

 

It means you're not a dumbass, thoughtless, selfish child. And it probably means that you'll make a better parent than half of the people you know, who already are.

 

I didn't know I feared it until I was doing it! A certain amount of fear probably made me good at parenting. The insecurities that cropped (crop) up at every phase of their development caused a lot of individual anxiety and marriage tension. There was instinct that played a large part, and maternal strengths as well, and aptitudes such as compassion and empathy. Very significant too, is being a good role model. Underlying it all tho......is intense love and devotion!! With those as my backbone, I think I could conquer any problem. The resources are numerous, and most any intelligent person can be a good parent with some effort.

 

Well, thank you so very much. Yes, I am not selfish and I really take a lot of care of my parents. I know that it is perhaps the hardest thing in the world, to raise even a single child in today's world. Earning for children, feeding them and sacrificing your own desires for the desires of your own children in the today's economic climate is not an easy task. I really wish and do hope that if I become a parent, I do become a better one. rettyplease:

 

This I completely agree to. :iagree:

And that is a very very tough job.

 

There's no need to have a child from your body. That thinking is only human pride.

There are plenty of biological "parents" who are not parents.

You could be a big brother or adopt.

 

I fear having children for the same reasons, but also because I'm afraid of the kind of parent I'd be. I'm afraid I'd fuck my kids up.

But, everyone around me swears I'd make a phenomenal parent..so we'll see, I guess.

 

It takes an unusual amount of self-honesty to be able admit that.

Which seems to validate their response:

 

Self honesty is my way of life.

I know what I am and I know what the world is.

No sugarcoating here

 

Lol, at least I am confident about myself that I'd not do that. However, I am not confident about the fact that whether I'd be able to make them good humans or not. :baby:

 

Be honest. It takes years of bullshit off your life.

 

Is this for me? Please elaborate? I could not understand what you were trying to say?

 

just mean whatever the reality for you at the time....be honest about it. Honest communication takes years of bs off