Hey ya'all I don't know if this is the proper place to ask about this situation, with my dilemma but here it goes. im 42 male and i live in Arkansas. And i can't seem to find a mate. i dont really have the wit and charm that the ladies find desirable. also, i must tell you a have depression, aspbergers and ptsd. Ive notice that the older i get, the worse i get. Its hard to explain, the behavior i will say i cant help it. The thing that bothers me the most is i make people feel uncomfortable. But under it all im a very kind and loving person. I just cant get a woman to give me the time of day let alone the chance to be a kind person to her. im really worried about it. I have the dream of moving to the mountains and living a secluded off grid life. The good news is ive aquired the land and im saving and planning for the next phase. The few friends i have tease me and joke that im planning to be a hermit. I guess in some ways i am......i dont want to be up there alone. I believe in being honest, if a woman chose me i would be greatly honored, but i would want her to be on the same page lifestyle wise as me. Its going to be alot of work! Please be kind with your responses, if you need more info about my situation please ask. thx for your help in advance ...greg
have you tried online dating? that would allow you to show your good side first, then let her know about your issues, rather than just being awkward during the introduction and scaring her off immediately.
That makes sense to me. She would get to know who you are and you would have the opportunity to be yourself without the selfconsciousness that is obviously a hinderance Good luck!.
Yes, ive tried online dating. i am honest. But alot of woman believe theres a stigma attached to truck drivers. im a local TDer. But it doesnt seem to matter. Also i went on a date and it went horrible. I was totally awkward. Thx for all your help
what have your dating/romance situations been like in the past, airwolftruker? we have that "how you're supposed to act when meeting someone new" in order to be somewhat acceptable... there's all sorts of rules you need to follow even if it's just to show that you are able to fake it and pretend to be sane for a little while until you get more comfortable with someone. some people fall in an attractive way outside these rules and that's all good and pretty, but those who say that outcasts are beautiful and that it's good to be different generally (unfortunately) aren't talking about and don't recognize those who are uncomfortably far outside the lines, even if those who are so outside are actually well-intentioned and very kind people. i'm a firm believer that there are a lot of women that would appreciate people like yourself, perhaps even have some of the same goals as you, but of course we live in a world where all of those people that feel misplaced, well, feel misplaced and have a hard time getting together.
I would say my dating life in the past has been somewhat dysfunctional. I was able in my youth to date good people. but into my 30's it went south. I seem to atract bad people. With very severe issues. I dont mind issues, i have my own. But when to there so bad i cant support my daughter or myself. Thayts to much. I dont know if i answered your question or not. If i didnt please ask again. Thx so much. Greg
Cherokeemist im sorry i went to "like" your post, but my fat fingers on this phone went the other way. So sorry
Man I can understand how it must be hard to find love as a truck driver, always having to travel and stay up for days on end. It must be an interesting life, though at least? You get to see all those different landscapes and you must really get to have a lot of thoughts to yourself with all that solitude. You must get a real brainbuzz going on in there, but I could see that it could be lonely. I would offer my advice on finding love, but I never have and I'm far too young to offer you that kind of advice anyways :/ I believe that there is a feeling of extreme awkwardness and anxiety that we all share and that all that really needs to happen is the realization that you're not the only one who feels it. When you're on a date and you know that it's not just you who feels awkward, but the girl, too, it just stops feeling awkward somehow.
Dude, apart from being out in the middle of nowhere, if you are, didnt say where in Arkansaw, its your daughter. You're 42, so that makes her teens or early 20s. No woman you age is going to compete with her or her friends. Tryiny to date one and being awkward seems awkward to you, but will look not interested enough to them, ie you dont fall over yourself the minut you meet them. You should get your daughter to pick one for you, I saw that in all seriousness, cos it just aint going to happen if she doesnt get the daughters approval. Unless she wants you for herself, it is Arkansas after all
If you are a local truck driver, and I assume that means you are home each night, why not say delivery driver? That gets the long haul trucker vibes out of the way.
oh man I made my hole post under the assumption that he was a long haul truck driver. Now I feel like an idiot lol
Thx for your response, my daughter that lives at home is 11. She's a little protective of me. My kid is very resilient I guess when i meet someone, i totally wig out I dont know if i mentioned this but i have aspbergers. and it reallly comes out, the last date i had was almost 3 years ago. It was the most horrible experience ever. i couldnt help it. But ive never been comfortable around woman ive just met anyway. I live close to Clarksville, AR. Are you a "Arky"?
Your right, i never thought of that. i did tell one girl that i was a "freight relocation technician" lol She figured it out.
And did that go in a humorous direction or awkward direction once she figured it out. Because it could've gone either way depending on the chemistry of the moment and the people in the conversation. Also you mean: aspergers
When she figured it out it went kinda stale and cold. She was with a girlfriend and her freind just shook her head. And said no! I think alot of people have a stereotype opinion of truckers. that were foulmouthed, dirty, womanizing, road dogs! Im not persay looking for a mate for sex, i miss the companionship.
No I've always been this way I get called heartless in a regular basis and I just don't understand why I am the way I am I just am and although I would like to change it I do not see it happening any time soon.
Sounds like getting a date is not your issue, so much as performing well once you're on the date (if I'm understanding correctly). Thus, sounds to me like you probably just need a date coach.
