Taking a benzo when you can't make an agreement with the porcelain king?

dazedgatsby · Dec 22, 2012

Happens to me every time I take large amounts of opiates. I've only pissed once today and twice yesterday. Took two 'stool softeners' and all I have is crazy gas.

I heard somewhere that taking benzos should help clear that up?

Is this true?

vivalalife · Dec 22, 2012

I have also heard that before. I have never tried it however because I've never had that problem on opiates before, but it's worth a shot. What do you have, xanax?

dazedgatsby · Dec 22, 2012

vivalalife said:

I have also heard that before. I have never tried it however because I've never had that problem on opiates before, but it's worth a shot. What do you have, xanax?
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Yup. I have a lot of it too.

I'm super constipated right now, so I guess trying it can't hurt.

vivalalife · Dec 22, 2012

Yeah, especially since not pissing for long peroids of time can be very bad for the bladder. I have read stories on forums of people actually damaging their bladders while on opiates for not being able to go when needed.

dazedgatsby · Dec 22, 2012

vivalalife said:

Yeah, especially since not pissing for long peroids of time can be very bad for the bladder. I have read stories on forums of people actually damaging their bladders while on opiates for not being able to go when needed.
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I just had a nice piss in the shower.

I'm more worried about shitting, it's starting to give me a mean ache in my belly.

vivalalife · Dec 22, 2012

Eat some fruits that are high in fiber; raspberries, pears, apples, strawberries, and bananas.

deleted · Dec 22, 2012

stick an oily finger up your ass..

happydude_60 · Dec 24, 2012

orison319 said:

stick an oily finger up your ass..
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hmmm...

McCloud · Dec 24, 2012

Why are you taking so many opiates? Is it actually for pain or is it recreation? If its just for kicks I would highly suggest taking a break or cutting down because your bladder can and will explode, and having constipation for so long is really bad for you:

In fact, studies show that the decaying material that sits in our intestinal tract when we are constipated may be directly related to several chronic diseases, including Cancer or Heart Disease.
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http://www.streetdirectory.com/trav...onditions/constipations_bad_consequences.html

deleted · Dec 24, 2012

McCloud said:

Why are you taking so many opiates? Is it actually for pain or is it recreation? If its just for kicks I would highly suggest taking a break or cutting down because your bladder can and will explode, and having constipation for so long is really bad for you:

http://www.streetdirectory.com/trav...onditions/constipations_bad_consequences.html
Click to expand...

"Is that you John Wayne? Is this me?

McCloud · Dec 24, 2012

What

:afro:

happydude_60 · Dec 24, 2012

Get some magnesium citrate, sold as "Citro-Mag" at Walgreens, "the Navy Seal hell week of laxatives." But first get one of these set-ups for your bathroom.

If that stuff won't make you go, get to an ER, because you're in some serious trouble. Elvis-style trouble.

blitz7341 · Dec 29, 2012

to the the pharmacy and get the laxative/stool softener combo, take until your comfortable. usually works withing 24 hours but if you take em for like 4 or 5 days it will really clean you out. also fibery foods and lots of water. if none of that works and its really bad get an laxative enema. its pretty intense but if your in alot of pain trying to shit this will save your ass, literally

as for benzos im not sure, i take clonazepam every day and i still get constipated sometimes. i suppose most benzos do have muscle relaxing properties. heck try it- just be easy on the dose if your still really fucked on opiates. we wouldnt want to lose someone over a turd.

best of luck
-Blitz

happydude_60 · Dec 30, 2012

Here's a review I found for magnesium citrate. I think it's from epinions, or something like that:

I like to keep myself pretty healthy, and I'm not afraid of natural body functions, so this seemed like a good topic of review for me.

To start off, I needed to be constipated. To accomplish this, I have been eating lots of dairy and red meat, and almost no vegetables or fiber this week. I didn't completely plug up the pipes, but things did slow way down.

My wife is a fourth year pharmacy student, so I asked her for the best laxative product on the market. She told me, "If you need to go, use Mag-Citrate." I don't like to do things half way, so I went with her suggestion.

Walgreens, The Pharmacy America Trusts
I went to Walgreens and found the store brand of Magnesium Citrate in the constipation section. A 10oz bottle was $1.99, which seems very reasonable to me. The instructions say that an adult should take the entire 10 ounces of green liquid, followed by a full glass of water. I made my purchase from the very helpful pharmacist and went home to try out my product.

The Green Machine
I'm not a big medicine person. When I was young, I tried to figure out any way possible to take medicine without it being medicine. I would grind up pills and mix them with sugar or apple sauce. If I had to take any kind of cough syrup, I would wash my tongue off with soap and then brush my teeth after. I don't like to take medicine.

I opened my bottle of green yuck and chugged it. Not a great taste by any means, but I got it down. I quickly drank not one, as recommended on the bottle, but two full glasses of water, then started brushing my teeth.

I've got the urge to burble!
Before I finished brushing my top molars, I felt a shift in my intestines. Things were starting to flow. Things were starting to churn, and burble and twist.

Realizing that something was afoot, I began to brush faster. After a few seconds, my toothbrush began to fly and I started making strange squeaking noises from my nose in an attempt to encourage myself to go faster.

Then I threw the toothbrush in the sink, yanked my pants down and flew ass-first across the room to the toilet.

Thank God my wife has trained me to leave the seat down!

Did someone open a fire hydrant?
OH MY SWEET MARY!
My wife was not kidding when she recommended this as the best laxative on the market. I haven't taken all of them, so I can't say for sure, but I don't imagine that anything could act any faster or clear my bowels any more effectively. In less than 5 minutes after I took the bottle, everything I have ever eaten in my whole life had passed through my intestines.

I think I saw Jimmy Hoffa go by, but I kept flushing to keep the room from overflowing, so I can't be sure.

OK, that might be an understatement. It was much much worse. I'm sure you've had that feeling where your body gets strangely warm and tingly and odd sensation when you really have to go. It was like that for about 10 minutes while I groaned, cramped, and rocketed around the room.

This stuff works!

Maybe I should have been really constipated before using it instead of just bogged down a little.

First Rule of Magnesium Citrate: If you need to go, use Mag-Citrate!

It keeps going, and going, and going...
After about 10 minutes of near constant flow, things began to settle down. I would guess that was because my body was completely empty. I was basically a burlap bag at that point. Had I eaten anything, I imagine that it would have fallen out before I finished chewing. It would be like pouring water into a bucket with no bottom. I didn't actually try to eat anything, because I was afraid to leave the toilet.

Second Rule of Magnesium Citrate: If you use it, never venture more than 5 feet from an open toilet.

After about 5 minutes of excretory inactivity, I felt some more motion in the bowel region. I wasn't feeling real good at that point, so I decided enough was enough, I took my anti-diarrheal medicine. From a medical standpoint, that might not have been the best idea, but it seemed logical at the time. Fortunately, I'm also doing a Great Epinions Write-Off on Anti-Diarrheal medicine, so I had some handy.

Third Rule of Magnesium Citrate: Block off about 3-4 hours in your datebook for personal time.

Even after taking my Imodium, it was several several hours before I felt sure enough of myself to stray from the immediate area of the restroom. I didn't have any more attacks like the first one, but I did have to stop back a few times for honorable mentions.

Conclusion
If you are really constipated, and want relief NOW, Magnesium Citrate is the drug for you. This stuff isn't calm, gentle, overnight relief. This is the Navy Seal Hell-Week of laxatives. Your intestines and rear end will feel battered, weak, and abused by the time it's done, but the job it does is like no other.

Footnote:
I now understand why the Jabberwock in Lewis Carroll's poem was so easy to slay. It burbled as it came. Obviously it had taken Magnesium Citrate prior to battle, and was just looking for a bathroom. After the boy killed it, he only took the head back.

He couldn't stand to be around the rest of the body for obvious reasons.

Fourth Rule of Magnesium Citrate: Never enter battle against a beamish boy immediately after taking Magnesium Citrate.
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Taking a benzo when you can't make an agreement with the porcelain king?

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