Gender identity crisis

Hey guys and gals. I'm back from a bit of a hiatus. Right now though, I'm having a bit of a problem. I feel like I'm me, but I don't feel like a man. I don't feel like a woman either, any help would be appreciated.

 

I know the feeling. And it's not an easy road to travel. However, I am learning (as I get older) that it's okay to "feel like me." I may not be a typical male, but I have no desire to become a woman. And it's also okay that I enjoy the company of straight people as much as gay folks. I'm really not sure if this will help you at all, but don't worry so much about society's labels. A label is only something you find on a soup can. You're a person.

QP

 

Thank you. I'm not so worried about labels... I just don't know who I am.

 

I'm not really sure how a man should feel, or a woman either for that matter. Except on job apps and government paperwork, it's not necessary to identify as either one. Relax and it will come to you when you need it to.

 

I don't really act specifically like a man, my born gender, or a woman. I think I'm in between there somewhere.

 

Thank you, I'm just... Lost... But that's not the right word. But thank you for the help

 

Yeah, I'm finding it increasingly laborious to be manly. But, neither am I a queen. That also seems laborious. Sometimes I'm naturally manly, sometimes I'm a sweetheart. It goes back and forth at random.

 

Being masculine doesn't necessarily make someone a man, just as being feminine doesn't automatically make someone a woman. Some women are more masculine than some men, and vice versa for femininity. Sure, you can be stereotypically "manly" and be a man, but being "manly" is certainly not a prerequisite for being a man. There's far more to being a man or a woman than possessing stereotypical personality traits of either gender. Effeminate gay men for example, are no less men, than hypermasculine hetero men.

To the OP: It sounds like you could be genderqueer (not a word I particularly like using, but it's so far the only word I've come across which is used as a descriptor for such people). Genderqueer people have gender identities that sit outside of the gender binary. They don't identify as men or women, but somewhere inbetween the two genders, or neither gender. They usually see themselves either as a "third gender" that is somewhere between the two, or someone who has no gender at all. It sounds like this could be how you feel. Or you could just be confused about which gender you are.

I do understand the need to know who and what you are, that is very important, even if the label itself isn't so much.

 

The boxes "man" and "women" are a problem for me too. A lot of us dont fit into them. It helped me when I realized there is nothing real or innate about gender, it is all socialized into us. Most people have one of two bodies and expectations have been created to match those bodies. Embrace yourself for who you are, someone whos gender differs in their own way from these expectations. It shouldn't need to be much more complicated than that.

 

I dont fit into aeither of the labels either. Im definitely a guy and dont act fem, maybe in some subtle ways but sexually I am a woman. When I was young I even thought about getting a full sex change operation but realize that is not something I want but I feel my sexual nature is definitely feminine. I dont know how to explain that to someone who doesnt understand and or relate, but that is how I feel.

During sex I am definitly submisive. Penile stimulation is the least of what turns me on and I definitly assume a feminine role.