Why can I not talk to girls??

For some reason, something has happened in the past 3 years where I can NOT for the life of me, tell a girl I like her. I'm 18, and am not very accepting of girls as it is. Every girl that I meet, I can't really see myself with, except for maybe 3. Except one of them is already in a relationship, and the others.. I don't know.

I think its a confidence problem. I don't know. I started using a lot of drugs.. Like HEAVY psychedelic drug use about 3 years ago, and I think that may have something to do with it. I haven't been doing things like that anymore because college is coming up, and frankly if I have been using psychedelics, I act like a loon.

I'm just so damn awkward. And I am terrified of rejection for some reason. I think too hard when I am talking to girls, and I act weird.. NO girl seems to be attracted to this, why?! They spend their time with jerk off extroverts who don't give a crap about them, and they don't understand that people who are more quiet, will probably treat them better. Is everyone just obsessed with sex? Is that what this is about? Frankly I could care less about sex. I just want a girl to spend my time with and be happy And sex would be nice to.. Its been awhile.

I'm not ugly or anything. I could get girls, I used to. I just don't try, its really just a personal problem, and I have no idea how to go about fixing it. I think about it all the time.. And it really gets to me. Everyone else has girlfriends..

What do I say to get them to hang out with me? What do I do with them? When do I make moves? I don't know any of this.. I've been single since, well a year ago, but that was an alcoholic bone fest. And it was because she came on to me. Girls who come on to guys like me, I don't like. They are all trashy. Its only because of the drugs, my last girl even told me 'You just like do drugs and dont care what people think, I'm attracted to that' And I just thought 'HOW?!?!?! I'm disgusting to normal girls..'.

I want a normal quiet girl, to have hot coco with and watch cartoons. THATS IT!! GAH!!!! AHH!!

Please give me advice
Thanks.

 

You have nothing to fear but fear itself.

 

Easier said than done.. :/

 

yea, i feel ya.

You might be over thinking things a bit. Start off by making small talk with any girl, just to get some confidence. After you have done that for a while, casually ask a girl to hang out. like "hey you wanna get together later on tonight for coffee or a movie" Dont worry about what to say or what they think of you. just go with the flow, if they are into you, they wont care.

and if someone rejects you, it just wasnt meant to be. It's nothing personal.

good luck dude :2thumbsup:

 

See, your so right. But I'll bitch out, I always do.

Whats going to happen is I am going to say, 'Hey want to get together for coffee and a movie?' and meanwhile, be awkwardly smiling, or looking away, or blushing. And its annoying because. I'm not a pussy when it comes to anything else. I'll fucking tear an elephant apart with my teeth. I'll work for what I want or need until my hands bleed.

Yet I can't ask a fucking girl out.

You are right about the rejection thing though, because if they reject you, it means their mind doesn't see you as an option. Therefor it just won't work. Even if you somehow weasel your way into a relationship with them, they will still have an underlying disattachment to you.

Thank you a lot for helping me out though man..

 

I blush too. Some girls find it cute. Most dont even really notice or care about it though.

Practice practice practice. I got a job in retail a few years ago and it has helped me quite a bit because i am forced to talk to people of all ages and genders, including cute girls. You get to practice all kinds of situations to cuz some customers are rude, some are super friendly, some are weird etc..

If you dont have a job, and want one, its a pretty good idea.

de nada

 

I do, it actually has helped a lot. I didn't even think about wanting a girlfriend so bad until I got a job. I just didn't care. Haha but now.. I have to talk to all sorts of people. I'm only a busser, but people still grab me aside and ask me all sorts of things.

Problem is I always say weird shit. I don't know why. I'm kind of a spaz. I've been trying to calm down, but at work, I just get all... Bored. I say things, then regret saying them... You know..

Practice makes perfect though.. Thats pretty set in stone. Am I just lazy? I feel like I already know all these things and just don't nudge to implement them..

 

You might be lazy, i know i am too sometimes.

Have you tried meditation, deep breathing exercises, or regular exercising to help you kind of calm down?

Maybe hit the gym or start running a bit. It relieves stress and kind of eases your tension up a bit.

I get bored at work too sometimes and say dumb things just to entertain myself and make time go by quicker. so your not alone.

 

Not exactly.. I've always wanted to start meditating, but just never found the time. Laziness basically.. I have meditated countless times, but never did it daily.. I think itd be way more beneficial that way. And exercise... Haha I do need to start doing a bit of that..

God man, I think laziness may be the issue.. I often think 'I dont want to get into a relationship because I will ditch out on them to do what I want to do at the time and make them angry'. I just need more self control.

I think that meditation and exercise are a good start. And practice.. Wow so obvious..

Thanks a lot for the help dude, I really am going to work on it now.. I just need to man up. And there are no short cuts, never were..

 

hey we've got some pretty similar scenarios here mate. I'm 18 and like to eat a lot of psychedelics too -- and I used to get girls, but no longer do.

Frankly, I'm not sure how to get over it either. I used to always just go for it, but now I fear the rejection.

 

You want my honest opinion??

You either think too much OR your hanging out with the wrong girls!

You need to try to relax a little, remember that if your coming across as shy and awkward it can be hard for a girl to break through your barrier, you could be giving THEM the impression that you dont like them hence them giving up on you... You need to chill, be natural, stop trying....

OR

The girls your hanging around with are just the wrong type for you, they like 'jerk off extroverts' seriously is that the kinda girl you want??

 

I just couldn't help but notice how you want the exact opposite of what I want in a girl. One mans hell is another mans paradise... it's so true.

Best advice for you right here!

 

I do have a question for you, do you often talk about using psychedelics? Like at work and stuff? I used to talk about it all the time for some reason, I just couldn't control my tongue. Lately I've been not starting conversations about it, but other people always start them with me! I think everyone just thinks I AM psychedelics or something. And the girls at work(I'm graduated, so no more school) are definitely not attracted to that.. And all the cool ones are over 25.

There IS one girl that I really do like, and I could tell her, because I've known her for years and she knows what I'd do. I'd feel much better telling her. But the thing is that she has been dating this same guy for two years.. They broke up recently, so I was giving it a little time. And now theyre back together -.-

Fuck dude..

Anyways no I don't want a girl who likes dueches, girls can be just as much of a duecher as guys can. Your right though, I just need to relax.. Its gonna take a little time. But I'm making this my primary goal for myself at the moment. To change my self control a little and relax..

 

Stop thinking about it and just take the leap, it's the only way.

 

Be happy in your own skin and mind first.

Relish in you singleness. Live it, breath it and accept it. You will find, eventually, that you will become more open and relaxed when talking to people and especially the ladies lol.

Desperation shows; so does peace within yourself.

 

This Thread Is Over 3 Years Old, Methinks If He Hasn't Taken The Leap By Now, He Never Will......



Cheers Glen.