fuck buddies with an ex a recipie for a bad time or no?

So I have an ex who I didn't want to stay with because we had been together for over a year, but I broke up with her I really never felt like we truly loved each other. We did, however, have good sexual chemistry. So we hang out every now and then and I always feel those sexual vibes and I can tell that we both want to have sex, but I really don't want to get back into a relationship again. Do you guys think trying to work out some sort of an "arrangement" with an ex is possible (since I'm pretty sure neither of us have gotten much action since we broke up), or do you guys think its a recipe for heartbreak and disaster?

 

well you didn't say anything about how you felt about her so i'm assuming you really only felt something sexual and going from that, i'd say you're probably safe on you're end. i don't know how into you she was, though. if her feelings for you were mostly sexual in the same way yours appear to be for her then your current arrangement will likely be fine.

if her feelings were more emotional then a problem will almost definitely come up. or/and if you have emotional bonds as well, this would certainly pose a problem, obviously.

 

although there's a lot of sexual feelings for both of us, I'm pretty sure her feelings are more emotional than mine. I mean, I'm not her, but I kinda think I broke her heart. feel kinda bad about it, too. She's just such a nice girl. Never nagged me or annoyed me or bothered me in any way, was never mean, never anything.

It just sucks, though, with all these emotions and what not, that two people who really want to have sex just can't because there's all this emotional stuff in the way.

--and it's not a current thing, just something we were kind of considering.
I guess I kind of knew it would be something that would get messy when I posted this thread. I'm really not sure how I feel about this relationship, though. We do like each others company and we have great sexual chemistry and we get along and everything, so maybe we should get back into a relationship. It just feels one-sided though. I tend to get into relationships with submissive girls like this who worship me and want to listen to everything I have to say and stuff, but I just want a relationship with someone who's more of an equal.

 

bump

 

if you cant be with the one you love..
love the one you are with..
I think thats a song or something..

 

every relationship is going to have some problems.

frankly, if the problem is that she is always nice, great in bed, and worships you, it sounds rather enviable as far as relationship complications go

have you talked about why the relationship didn't work?

if you can communicate about what is wrong, you may be able to fix the problems

usually people don't consider relationship counseling unless they're older or married. I don't know what your age is, but in any case, it could help

if you are or become certain that you don't want to be with her in the long term, it's better just to break it off, imho. that would just be taking advantage of her emotional attachment to you.

if you are uncertain, I think it's ok to get back together. you could end up hurting her still, but that's just the risk that everyone takes when they get into a relationship

just remember that making any ltr work requires effort. good luck

 

There was one ex I had sex with after we broke up, and he knew I had moved on so never pressured me about getting back together. It's a very individual decision, yet very dependent on if there are residual feelings. Sounds like you are over her, but you need to make sure she is over you. Then the sex can happen, and neither of you has expectations.

 

I've successfully had sexual contact with exes on most fronts. Generally it all worked out, aside from annoying quips about what we used to be.

 

If you think she had a broken heart then it wouldn't be really fair to sleep with her, how would you like it?

 

apricot-sky has a good point, I do not think it is fair for the girl if she had a broken heart or had a big emotional attachment because then you would somehow take advantage of that. However, if you two haven't spoken about it, you do not know where she stands. Have you guys talked about the possible arrangement? And what are your feelings for her, did you remain good friends?

There is a few things to consider before jumping into being friends with benefits but in my personal experience I had it with an ex a long time ago and it worked out just great, all you need is good communication and be clear.

 

double post

 

I was FBs with my ex for a little over a month, if I can recall. Best vanilla sex of my life.

 

"So we hang out every now and then ... "
She can't be too broken hearted.

How about trusting her to speak her mind? Tell her about your desire, ask what she thinks. One good thing about ex's is that you are used to talking with each other, so the two of you are past the "what will they think of me" BS and are able to be straight forward.

Trust her to tell you if she thinks it would be too weird or would lead into that horrible situation called "a relationship".