Wife not interested in orgasms, hers or mine.

My wife and I have been dating/married for over 12 years. She has always had trouble orgasming. Back when I was 19 I had the energy to go at it for an hour, or more sometimes. Usually orgasming myself 3 times before she finally came.

Now that we're 30, and I'm on blood pressure medicine, I just can't do it anymore. Also, I've lost some of my motivation to try to last long enough for her, as for the last 6 years, she's orgasmed ONCE during sex.

I understand after having a kid it can be more difficult for some women to become arroused, but I'd go all night for her, if I knew an orgasm what at least coming. (no pun) But even after sex, and using a vibrator by herself it can still be over an hour before she gets release.

This isn't even what bothers me most. If my wife was truley non-orgasmic, I could learn to deal with that. What bothers me most is she doesn't care, she's happy just avoiding sex altogether, and what bothers me most about that is she doesn't care how this makes me feel.

I'd like to think most women, if they suddenly became unable, or unwilling to do the deed "the old fashion way" would at least still care about their husband enough to find new ways to have a physical relationship with him, but because she's all but not interested in sex, she obviously feels that I just have to respect that and live without. I've spent years dealing with this, please help, or we may end up another divorce statistic.

ps: Sorry for the long post, I TRIED to keep it brief. Also, going back and reading through it, some of it reads as cold hearted, or as I'm pointing fingers. I'm not, that was my attempt at brevity, which didn't work so well. Thanks in advance.

 

I had a wife that was not interested in sex and didn't think it was an importent part of a marriage either! She had the same kind of attitude that if it didn't matter to her then it shouldn't for me. In 16 years nothing changed that and it only got worse. Well go figure our marriage ended a few years back. I am now living the best years of my life with someone that is my sexual equal and she is having problems finding anybody who wants to stay with her. Guess what sex is an importent part of a healthy relationship and when you don't have it other problems become even bigger.

 

First off, don't pressure your wife to orgasm. Women do not need to orgasm every time we have sex, and if there is pressure to, it's even more difficult to get off. If I was with someone who wanted that much control over MY sexual experience, I would avoid sex, too. It isn't just about the orgasm for us, so leave it alone. If she wants one, she'll get one.

You didn't say how old your child is. It can take as long as a few years for a woman to get back into enjoying sex.

Is she taking any medications? I took Paxil years ago and it almost ruined my marriage. I didn't even want to be in the same room with my husband in case he wanted sex.

Have you talked to her about the seriousness of not being intimate? Leave her orgasms out of it.

 

I was married to a woman that didnt like sex. Was. Im now happily married to one who does.

 

Me too. Life is way better now.