Added a random girl on Facebook after hearing from a mate she's up for it?

I know it sounds bad but I'm 18 and I'm still a virgin. This girl I've added is younger than me she also quite chubby like me and she isn't bad looking either. She came on to my mate yesterday but he's about to get with some girl that he likes a lot so he backed off and he told me about her seeing as I'm just looking for sex. She doesn't know why I added her and we have never spoke so I was just wondering if anyone can give me some advice on what to say to her so that she doesn't end up as one of those people that you add but never speak to and then they just end up being on your friends list for years on end but never actually speak to them?

I know it makes me sound like a pig, but I don't need to be told that, I just want genuine advice please

 

It sounds really bad that the only reason you want to get with this girl is because your a virgin and want to have sex...

 

your mate's screwed. most likely the only reason the girl he likes was interested in him was because she was competing with the chubby girl; now that chubby is out of the way the girl he likes has no more reason to talk to him.

can't you talk to her in person? i don't think facebook is really a great seduction tool.

why?

 

It would be taking advantage of the girl, from my experience i don't believe girls like to just fuck with no strings attatched, they want to be loved and cared for and have a real relationship. Sex is really emotional for a lot of girls.

 

some girls are like that, some like to have casual sex. if she doesn't want to have casual sex with the virgin she can always turn him down.

if he starts a relationship with her then dumps her as soon as they fuck, then he's kind of a douche.

 

Of course I'd meet her in person lol. I'd like to do that myself even if she was fine without meeting first haha. And I know it's emotional for a lot of girls, but there are a few out there who do it for the fun, or to tr out new things without have the emotions getting involved. I'd see it as a great way to use eachother to try new things that we havent before and to build up confidence I guess. And besides, don't a lot of these "friends with benefits" style relationships end up with the two people involved falling for eachother anyways?

 

I think it's bad that you think it's bad that you're 18 and "still" a virgin.

 

I agree with that, but from the post it sounds like he wants to get with this chick for sex.

 

sure, in the movies. in real life, i think it's usually just one that falls for the other.

but then if you're both truly looking for a friends with benefits relationship, then nobody is taking advantage and falling for each other is what you're trying to avoid anyway.

 

So what makes you so sure she would want to be friends with benifits?

 

Yeah that's right. I don't want to lead her on though, it's fucked up when people do that. I'd tell her straight away obviously that "I'm not looking for a relationship, just casual sex, but if it develops into something more then I'd welcome it". If she's still down for it then that's cool but you guys do need to know that I'm not going to lead her on...

all I need is things to talk to her about. When she pops up tomorrow asking who I am or why I added he, what do I say, I can't just say "I want to have sex with you" can I?

 

You're 18 and still a virgin? My god, the horror. I lost mine when I was 7. That is just how cool I was/am.

 

If I feel it's going well between us, and I know she want's the same kind of thing I do, which I will learn through random conversation, then I will either start dropping hints to her, or if she wants to do it with me, then she will drop hints to me and it goes from there.

 

I know in the usa about 98% of the time you cant just tell a girl Hi my name is Sean wanna be fuck buddies? even if you get to know this chick first it still doesnt really work that way unless you get in a relation ship. but if you dont really like this chick and you get in a relationship just to fuck her then that is using her. Maybe in England its different idk

 

Okay basically what I wanna do is talk to her for a while, maybe a week, see what she's like, what she likes doing, learn a bit more about her, maybe meet her a few times. If at some point I learn she's open to casual sex with someone, then I will begin to drop hints, or if she wants to do it with me, then she will begin to drop hints for me. At my age and in my generation, this kind of stuff is quite common. Like you said though, it could just be the UK and US differences. But all I need to know is what I can use as an ice breaker or what to respond when she asks something like, "hey do i know you", or, "hey why did you add me". I need something carry a conversation on from there. I'll be fine once it gets flowing but I always struggle with the first 10 minutes of conversation.

 

haha dude, you just answered your own question. All you have to do is get to know her, say hi my name is blah blah and you might know my friend " friend that you mentioned in the first post" whats up? Then just go from there and get to know her. ask her questions about stuff, her interest hobbies and stuff about her life. Good Luck!

 

Ahhh! Finally I have a straight answer haha. I just wanted to get other peoples' opinions on what they would say first, because I'm not exactly brilliant when it comes to introducing myself to people. I'll what you said though it sounds good just saying, "oh it was a random add but I saw you knew my mate and I just thought I'd add you" or something anyway. But I'll give it a go thanks

 

Yeah and just be like, id like to get to know you and maybe become friends or something. Just be careful if she questions "something". But really what you said in the post before was all you had to do, just say hi whats up is all it takes.

 

ah alright cool. I've just never seen it as that easy lol. I've tried things like that before but it was just a one night chat thing and I'd never speak to them agian haha.

 

Just keep the conversations flowing, dont get too personal. Dont say anything offensive, and the reason you probably didnt talk to them the next time is because either she was not interested at all or you were not interested.