Being more mature about sexual topics

I grew up fast and prefer a more mature man at this time in my life. I have been married was in a relationship for 14 of my best years and have dated for the past 3. I have an 11 year old boy to take care of and 2 jobs. These things I have not found to be relatable to younger men. This is my first time dating an older man and I find that he plays absolutely no games and has wonderful communication skills. We have kids in common.

 

Myself I would not want to be with someone who did not have a sexual past and am sure glad I did as well! The only reason my lady and I know that what we have is so good is, because we have had other experiences with other people. The only way you learn anything in life is by experiencing things.

 

Thank you for ADDING something to the conversation. That is completely understandable.

 

That Aaron Johnson guy of Kick Ass fame married and had kids with a woman more than 20 years his senior when he was 22. Articulated, educated and mature, nit to mention good looking, he's a great example of ones that break your rule. Its not going to be the case that every guy under 24 is a tool. And dare i mention the ones that are going to want nothing more than BFF.

Being mature about it, wouldnt that include not trying to pretend the only reason its not going to happen with a guy under 24 is that they are all dickheads. It wouodnt have anything to do with the ones you couldnt get anyway now would it?

But let me guess thats not important, you are in a loving relationship blah blah blah with your safe boring guy, and yet like all the others perving at anything hotter and sometimes younger than your man. But as long as you only do it whilst his back is turned and he never sees it , it doesnt happen

You started the thread, that makes it YOUR thread, you can now try control whatever is said in replies, and that will make it even more believable. Sounds like maturity to me

 

I did not say all men under an age are dickheads. I said something about my own self and experiences. I don't know what your problem is but you seem to not have much to do with your time.

 

Yes, sometimes we can get very emotionally attracted to someone we know may or may not like us in the ways we like them. I can say I've done that before & either come out said something 'I" thought they would appreciate me doing or saying & have been made to look bad for doing it or good in some way.
You learn by your mistakes & you appreciate what some like about you either personally or in another way. I do apologise to any one I act on my own instincts & they reject them for reasons they disaprove of that I hoped maybe they would accept or partly anyway.

 

I very well agree that People should be more open about sex.
Sex can be like any other topic we talk with others. Hobbies etc.
By sharing, you get to know many things.

 

@Nz male : Right? Like you be honest hoping your honesty will be attractive but then it isn't. Luckily I was super honest this whole year with people and every time I was it was a good thing.

 

No, just to pay someone a compliment that they deserve & should hear no matter who they are.
This New Year, I made the decision that compliments I would not usually make to people & kept to myself, I were now going to act on them & say positive things I like about them, that will make them feel good knowing someone see's something they may dislike about themselves or not.
I have done this a few times so far this year & got thanks for it & they appreciated my comment.
It makes me feel good if someone has given me one as well whether I know them or not.
Surprises are always nice to receive or give like that.

 

I think some of the judgemental attitudes coming from men, is in all honesty jealousy.

the truth is, a small minority of men are able to bed lots of good looking women without much effort.

But the rest of us have to work really hard to find a woman we find physically attractive, with a nice personality who is good in bed.

Unfortunately alot of the women that we work so hard to get have a past which often includes casually sleeping with some of these studs and we resent the fact that these guys got laid so effortlessly when we have to seriously wine and dine these same women, plus we are afraid we won't measure up in bed or that our women will leave us out of boredom or dissatisfaction.

so we condemn certain behaviors as morally deficient.

Women hold all the cards when it comes to sex. They can say yes or no, play hard to get or be a slut. They can with hold sex from their partners when they are angry or feel neglected.

so if a man is angry, anxious, resentful or frustrated he may express his negative feelings in a way that sounds judgmental.

Which is why women should be careful about revealing their sexual past if they are in a relationship they want to last. nothing good can come from revealing this knowledge, after all does a man want to know how many different loads of jizz went into the pussy they are eating? Do they want to know how many cocks were in the mouth they are kissing?

 

Good points fx. In fact I don't tell my current bf anything he didn't ask to hear. And I don't ask for the details of his past. Better questions and conversations do include what he or I like or would like but I don't need to share with him that one guy had a penis a foot long and it was amazing...I'm sure he doesn't want to know.

 

Fair enough.

You have your age listed as 30, which probably more likely means 32, 33, maybe not. 11 year old kid so pregnant somewhere around 18 to 21. With that same guy for the most part, most likely a few years before that up until the last three years you said you have been dating, either with the father of the kid or the one that took up the reigns. The point being seemingly the one guy for over a decade for the most part, and likely a guy chosen that, used to anyway, run around do stuff for you. Not one chosen on how hot he is, or how great in the bedroom obviously.

In this thread so far you have welcomed guys that say nice things and agree with what you are saying, snarky little comments to those of us that sound like little shits. So likely its the same in real life.

So you never learned how to chase the hot guys and only really interacted with guys that butter you up, even if it is fake most of the time.

This 43 yr old is a lot more 'mature', relaxed, centred, you two are compatible - now......but.....Whats your personal interest in this thread, that a persons history shouldnt matter, are you more worried about revealing yours to him, or actaully finding out his?

I mentioned Aaron Johnson cos I have a fair idea what you are. Google him and the missus if you arent exactly sure who I'm talking about, especially pics of them together.

What exactly is it do you think that seperates him from the other 99% of guys that age that are dickheads. But more importantly, what makes her different to most of the other woman that arent like her, she would have done the chasing, how did she know. Where did she learn to do that? if the preceding 20 years before they were seen together, everyone else around her heard her talking like you, and an extended period of time with a similar type of numnut hubby that ran around doing stuff for her.

You think your 43yr old doesnt know whats coming? As for him himself, how many previous "you" 's do you think there have been?

 

I'm here to have conversations I am not here to senselessly chat with someone who just wants to argue and guess things about me. I don't have much to say to you.

 

Never mind Gorilla, he's like that toward EVERYBODY.

I can relate to the age thing, though, in my case in an opposite fashion. I certainly do not limit myself in this manner, but generally speaking, I have a more difficult time relating to women my age, or older. Romantically, that is. What matters the most is that you find someone you're compatible with, where both of you are able to feel that special connection while mutually reaching the conclusion/conviction that maintaining your bond is far more important than allowing outside influences to come between the two of you. Oops, messy sentence, sorry. xD My point is, if you are more likely to connect with men older than you in that fashion, then that fact alone should NOT suggest you're not open-minded enough. It just means you have personal preferences.