Parents consenting to teen girls overnights with Boyfriend

My daughter was 17, a senior in high school, and with her long term boyfriend.

(Age corrected a few posts down)

 

I think it totally depends on the teen.

But seriously, kids have sex in movie theatres every day of the year. It's better to be involved, and try to dissuade them, but make sure that if they're going to do it they're safe.

 

My mom allowed this when I was 17 and had my license and a steady relationship for 2 years. And she only allowed it because she had become friendly with his parents and knew we weren't sleeping in the same room. The only time I stayed was when it was convenient (we had early/late plans)

Other than that, even when I was 18-19, after my break-up, she didn't STOP me, but she didn't exactly like what I did.

 

I gotta correct myself. She was 18 and it was a few months before graduation. They were moving in together anyway.

 

Well I didn't mean to say I wouldn't be involved. I would of course talk to my kid about it.

 

this is getting pretty hot...

 

my best friend's mom let her have sleepovers with her boyfriend from an early age..like 12 or 13....then when she was 16 her gynocologist asked her in front of her mom if she was sexually active, and when she said yes her mom freaked out ..

appearantly she thought they were just cuddling the whole time

I wouldn't allow my kids to have sleepovers with the opposite sex at all under my roof, unless they were grown and had already moved out and they were bringing a serious partner to visit. Thats just how I was raised. My mom wouldn't even let me shut my bedroom door when I had a boy over during the day. Even when I turned 18 and still lived with her for a couple of years I never would have attempted to bring anyone home. I'm not sure if she would have minded at that point but it would have been way too weird.

 

lmao

 

12 is absolutely absurd.
my parents raised me to know that until im 18 and paying rent, it is their house and their rules.... so until i was 18 i did not have a boyfriend stay over.



now we fuck all the time lol

 

I think it's alright depending on how well the parents explain things.

 

Why is it wrong? It's sex, it's natural.

Why? She was over age..... sex is natural. Would you rather she do it somewhere unsafe?

wow. Nice. authoritarian view. Because that worked so well when my mom tried pulling that with me. Sounds like your parents were awesome people.

 

Honestly I have not read everyone's posts yet but my opinion will not be swayed regardless. In my home, my teens will NOT be having overnight guests of the opposite sex...its just not okay by me. I work with families where there is a breakdown in parent/teen relationships and in many of the homes I see where there are problems with disrespectful youth, they are with parents who are more "friends" with their teens and pretty lax on stuff such as curfews/overnight guests. Do I want my teen having sex in an unsafe location? No. Of course not, but its also not my job to make it easy for them to get laid. I also have a lot of supervision of my kids...I know where they are...I know what they are up to.

What age will I allow it under my roof? When they are engaged/strongly committed. If they are just "dating" and in university or something like that then their guests can sleep in a different room but when I see there is a committed ADULT relationship, then I will let them share a room.

 

This I agree with, with the exception that I will tell my children they are not having sex in my house (unless an adult in committed relationship). The people that I know that had to be creative in finding places to have sex, ended up being older teens when they finally got to have sex. Its the unsupervised kids that have the "sleepovers" that are losing their virginity at 12/13.

 

It's a respect thing. A lot of things are natural. We are from the animal kingdom, killing for animals is natural. Does that mean I could walk into your house and kill you because I want to live in your house.
She had to option to live somewhere else and make her own rules but when she lives in my house she can live by my rules.

 

I totally agree.

 

Most parents do not give a flying fuck if their adult children have sex with someone in the house, and those who do care are obviously still living according to the middle ages. I have already stated as such previously, but it needs repeating. I also believe you are adhering to a gross double standard due to the fact that she is a girl rather than a boy.

 

You don't listen. I wouldn't let my son do it either

 

That still does not make it alright.

 

No it is not appropriate. Sexuality is an activity that is for "adults" just like recreational drugs and drinking and driving and parenting and bills and jobs and college and numerous responsibilities and shall I go on?

Parents that allow this are 1) too lazy to exert their authority 2) trying to be cool 3) indifferent to the health development of their offspring.

All I asked of my own two kids is that they take their sexuality very seriously. At minimum, to wait until after 18 when I have no control over their actions, but to remember the lessons I've tried to instill.

The main thing about early sexuality is trying to rein in feelings of arousal. At 51 I still have problems controlling arousal and I was similar when I was young. I've addressed that head on with both my kids. I've explained that kissing and touching leads to more touching. While all that is awesome, it's even more awesome with more maturity and better perspective.

 

Well when you start paying my bills you can tell me what right.