Need Help coming out-Not even sure if I'm a lesbian...

Discussion in 'Coming Out and Confused!' started by HoneyMonster, Sep 20, 2012.

  1. HoneyMonster

    HoneyMonster Guest

    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    Hi guys!
    Basically, i need some help, regarding my sexuality. I can't talk to any of my friends or family about my sexuality because I feel too uncomfortable and plus i don't think they will understand or know what to say...

    Well, I'm 16 and obviously at that time where you start to attract to males/females. I've had a few relationships with boys in the past and a couple have lasted for nearly a year, but were nothing serious. To be honest, I didn't exactly feel attracted to the boys I dated, I kind of just did it because all of my friends were dating other boys.
    Anyways, for the past 3 years or so, I've found myself attracted to females more. I know it is nothing to be embarrassed about, because everyone questions their sexuality at one point, but I feel ashamed sometimes, being sexually attracted to females, I'm not sure why.
    I was in love with one of my friends who is a girl for nearly two years. At one point I thought she might of been a lesbian, from the way she was with me and other girls, but I daren't ask her if she's gay hahahaha. I am still kind of in love with her now, but she treats me like dirt, and I'm trying to forget about her. I nearly told her about how I feel, but then i got scared and chickened out at the last minute.
    I am defiantly more attracted to women than men. I still find some men attractive, don't get me wrong, but i can imagine myself having a relationship with a woman more than a man...

    I just need some advice or something, because all of these feelings and thoughts are driving me CRAZY! I'm not sure whether I'm a lesbian, or bi, or straight for that matter, please can someone just HELP! Much appreciated, love and hugs! =D
     
  2. daisymae

    daisymae Senior Member

    Messages:
    16,980
    Likes Received:
    23
    Maybe you should try dating a woman and see how you feel. Get some experiences to draw on, then you'll have a better idea of yourself.
     
  3. HoneyMonster

    HoneyMonster Guest

    Messages:
    5
    Likes Received:
    0
    I wish i could but im too scared to even try it..plus I'm only 16 so im not comfortable trying out a relationship with a girl just yet...):
     
  4. UNIQUEme

    UNIQUEme Member

    Messages:
    22
    Likes Received:
    2
    You don't have to label yourself. Sexuality is fluid! And labels don't fit everyone as many people will be attached to lots of different labels! Just give it time and try some new things!
     
  5. jimandjan

    jimandjan Member

    Messages:
    2,645
    Likes Received:
    2,592
    At 16 you have alot of time to experiment. I would not rush anything.

    Jan
     
  6. NickyW91

    NickyW91 Guest

    Messages:
    1
    Likes Received:
    0
    Can't agree more with the two posts above mine. Try not to worry too much about having to label yourself. After all, it only really matters what you think, and sometimes it takes time to figure everything out. The label is purely for everyone else. Some things can't be rushed, and there's no need to rush them. I understand it confusing and you'd like to have a simple answer, but try and enjoy things - you're still young! Besides, loving someone is more important than what gender they are. Good luck! :)
     
  7. Charmed262

    Charmed262 Member

    Messages:
    193
    Likes Received:
    10
    I can not agree more with what has already been said in the three post above mine. You have a lot of time to figure it all out. In the mean time enjoy life get out there and be you. Labels are for soup cans anyway not people. Or that's what I think. Anyway good luck!
     
  8. The Chan

    The Chan Member

    Messages:
    85
    Likes Received:
    2
    As said there is no need to label yourself, plenty of others will do that for you.
    Just explore at your own pace, there's no hurry.
     
  9. Wombatso

    Wombatso Member

    Messages:
    70
    Likes Received:
    33
    Just let life roll on and let it turn out as it does. If you're a lesbian, then you are. If not, you're not.
     
  10. BeachBall

    BeachBall Nosey old moo

    Messages:
    1,000
    Likes Received:
    76
    Labels were invented for the convenience of people who are too lazy to do their own thinking. They seldom fit. So I wouldn't worry about how to label yourself ... it's best not to bother.

    That having been said, I feel for ya. You're attracted to women, but you're not sure how to go about testing this attraction, and there's a lot of social pressure which makes you feel ashamed about that and isn't really helping.

    If I were you, I'd start by looking for some big Pride events. Finding a big one is important - because that will give you anonymity. Just go along and mix in an environment where none of those social pressures exist, an dthe whole POINT of the event is that it's about proclaiming that you SHOULDN'T be ashamed.

    Then talk to people. Anyone. About anything. Don't necessarily talk about your sexuality. Just mix with the people, get to feel the vibe, and go with the flow.

    Big hug from me,

    Becky
     

Share This Page

  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice