I really need help with my brother: depressed and obsessed with conspiracies

My family consists of my parents who are happily married and two older brothers, one 25 and other is almost 23. I'm just gonna explain the whole situation and hope others on here can relate in one way or another and can help me out, sorry if it seems really long. So my brother who is almost 23 is at a very very low point with himself. He graduated highschool and after that put an attempt at community college but ended up failing and dropping out within the first semester. Then he just worked at Target where he eventually quit cause he was frustrated with it. After that he spent a long time doing nothing but hanging out with friends on occasion and he got really into smoking weed and also weight lifting to the point where he actually got quite big. Then he enlisted into the marines and even left the state to go to basic training where he says he was doing better than anyone but then was kicked out due to failing a UA for marijuana. That was the first time he ever got caught with drugs and my parents werent super hard on him but he still was extremely down himself for what happened. From there was when he really just gave up with life. My parents finally got him to go out and get a job where he worked at Sam's club for probably about a year I believe. But once again he got too frustrated with his boss and coworkers that he quit. And during this, my family did a bunch of moving and stuff and to sum it up, my dad got a nice apartment where my dad and brother currently are living and we also have a cabin where my mom lives and my dad goes to on the weekends when not working. So once he quit sam's club all he would ever do was sit in his room on his computer and work out at the gym, all day long every day of the week and this has been going on for 5 months now. And he has become completely OBSESSED with conspiracies and government corruption.

Conspiracies literally changed his perception on life and he has completely lost touch with society. Everytime me and my family all get together at our cabin, every couple hours my brother has an outburst about something wrong with America whether its the economy, the environment going to hell, the illuminati, everyone on tv belonging to satanic cults, etc. It's gotten to the point where my oldest brother who has always tried to help him, tries to avoid getting together with us because he knows there are going to be outbursts. The 23 yr old brother also watches a lot of standup comedy like Bill Burr and takes it completely literal and he judges, stereotypes, and hates people now. The youtube vid of bill burr at a philly show just swearing at the crowd cuz the whole crowd was assholes, has led him to believe everyone in america and everyone in society is a selfish piece of shit, its horrible. He even argues with my whole family that women are nothing but gold diggers that take too much pride in themselves as mothers, also due to watching the bill burr clip. And tonight my mom called me and told me that they found out my brother got busted for marijuana and lost his license for the last month. This is just one more thing adding to my brothers down state. Me and my whole family wonder that if my family would have ever had guns in our homes, he probably would have killed himself. And we worry that he might be suicidal now too for all we know. And I also feel so bad for my dad who's gone at work for 11 hours every day and lives alone with my brother and offers to help him in every possible way and help him do absolutely anything he'd want to do in life, but my brother wont do anything, and tomorrow now my dad actually has to go to court with him about the weed charge.

We've tried so hard to get him to see a doctor and therapist or psychologist. We did get him to a doctor once cuz my brother really has ADD and I really believe adderall would help him with his attempts at school so much, but because he's a weightlifter, the doctor told him no and just gave him the number to a psychologist. My brother sees any form of help as just someone who doesnt give a shit about him and is just working to get their next paycheck. After this court thing, my parents are absolutely firm on forcing him into some type of psychologist to see but my brother is also super good at lying and keeping things to himself so idk if he'd even be honest with one. I'm now in college too so i dont get a chance to talk to him enough either altho I'll see him 2 weeks from now.

I know I just typed a ton, but I really am wanting any advice possible. Typing this all out was also helpful and good for me to get it all out cause no one else besides my family really knows about this and was just good for me and I also just wanted you guys to get an idea of who he is and where his mental state might be.

Anyone who reads all this or helps out at all, I really appreciate it

 

Conspiracies are not the problem, just something he's latching onto. As you say, he can latch just as destructiely onto standup comedy.

He needs to be kept off of all drugs. Some people can handle themselves, and need to handle themselves, and heal themselves out of this sort of situation. Your brother does not sound like he is one of those people, it sounds like he needs some forceful help.

He seems to be a spoiled brat who does stupid things like fail military drug tests, and he also sounds like he's developed some sort of schizoid issue, and like it's probably been excrabated by pot. He needs to understand that he's got a problem, and he needs to be free of drugs, and he needs professional help, in the sense of a serious head doctor, not someone who just writes perscriptions.

He may also be taking steroids, which may be effecting his emotions and reasoning.

For that matter, he may have a physical problem, things like tumors can cause that sort of personality change.

Being 23 and living with your parents is one thing. And taking drugs can be just fine. But being totally absorbed with drugs and psychotic thought processes, and having all sorts of paranoid delusions about your own family, while living with them? Drag his sorry ass to a shrink.

 

Maybe you should chloroform kidnap him and drop him on the doorstep of area 51..

Id just like to see the look on his face when he wakes up..

 

Just wanna add you had a motivated brother in the marines, doing well, but weed charges ruined that. Marijuana charges have seemed to fuck up the rest of his shit too. The law sucks.

Good luck helping him snap out of it. First he needs to fucking cleanse and snap back to reality, but I think he needs something he's proud of to do with his life...

 

Im sorry (not really) but you give horrible advice, sir. Dragging his ass off to a shrink is going to be 1. Impossible and 2. useless with her brother's current mindstate when it come to institutionalized mental therapy and shrinks in general.
IMO, which is obviously inferior to RooRshack"s, you (OP) need to personally talk to your brother about what he's becoming to you. Tell him what you told the people here. The opinion of your parents, any of his superiors or any paid "professional" won't phase him nearly as significantly as a his upset and concerned little sister. Show him the concern you've showed us.
Have a heart to heart with him. Start off by saying you just want him to listen closely and take you seriously, make sure he knows you're extremely worried and just want him to be your big brother again, etc. etc.
Don't go about it by challenging his beliefs; reserve the fact that he can believe whatever he wants but at the same time iterate that he shouldn't be allowing his passion get in the way of his social life and family connectedness. Point out how it's become nigh impossible to have a decent family get together with him ranting at some point during every gathering.
There will be no changing his beliefs as of yet. You must make him realize that his obsession over these things is degrading his quality of life and changing him negatively.

 

Rooshack has been owned by Trippin' Balls. l;fm,ao.

 

Owned? No. More like challenged and criticized. Put yourself in OP's shoes and try to imagine acting on RooRshack's advice. If anything, attempting to do that would just push her brother away.

 

Thanks for the input guys, altho idk where this idea that I'm a girl came from especially since i got my name Matt in my username haha. regardless, I am gonna try to have a heart to heart talk with him and hopefully manage to get his perception on life more in sync with others.

I am worried that what Roor said could be right about the weed bringing out a mental issue like schizophrenia which my aunt has along with being bipolar. I dont think he's aware that he could be doing it to himself.

I'm not gonna be able to make much progress since I dont see him too often right now but I'd still love to get anyones input. Especially if anyone can relate to knowing someone in a position like this

 

That would be fine advice, except that he apparently has de-realization/de-personalization problems, and thinks horrible things about his family because a stand-up comic said so.

He obviously needs to be in a position where he physically has no access to drugs, and can be carefully watched.

If you are right and he can't be forced to take help, the only help left for him is made of lead, from how I read the OP.

 

uh oh...It is thought that schizophrenia "runs" in families. Your brother is also at a prime age where this could be happening. This type of illness/disease is one of the very hardest to treat, in that the person suffering is almost the least likely to think they have a problem. "It's everybody else's problem", they usually feel. When a person is bipolar they are often as resistant to treatment as a schizophrenic...they like the manic phases.

Having a calm heart to heart with your brother will probably do more good than anything else. During this talk, I'd suggest you ease into pointing out that his love affair with weed hasn't helped his life any, starting with the example of how it messed up his military career. (Really, since he was a grown man, he should have had enough sense to realize that going through boot-camp/starting life in the military did NOT mix with smoking pot...and that there would be a drug test along the way. FGS! That he didn't think about this tells me he had questionable judgement even then.)

Does your brother and your aunt have any actions that are similar? Not to be an alarmist, but I totally agree there should not be any guns in the household he is in. No matter how whacked out he may act, I'd say everybody needs to reassure him they love him. In my former life I used to work with all types of people with disabilities including those with schizophrenia and bipolar disorder.

Even though it sounds like he desperately needs therapy I realize that will probably be the hardest thing in the world to get him to agree to.

Good luck. Let us know what happens.

 

i'm usually one to say that the best thing to do is comfort people, and talk to them, stay away from meds if you can help it. i've been in a lot of psych units, put on a lot of heavy meds, and it never did me any good. a lot of the time i called in on myself, and asked to be put on meds, because i was looking for some answer, but i didn't know what the question was... so i got all sorts of answers, but none of them really did much... and that was no one's fault, and if it had to be anyone's fault it was probably mine. i might be able to blame the healthcare system for not offering other options, but fuck that, because there ARE other options, for people like me- i don't have to call 911 if i'm having a hard time. i can call someone, or make some soup, or watch netflix or do something else.

now, i'm telling you that because that's my option. i'm not stupid enough to think that psychiatric hospitals are completely useless. i do think that they're made out to be the the only place to go for a lot of people who would probably be better off going somewhere more gentle and less clinical. psychiatric hospitals don't exist for people who are sad and stressed and need help- that's what therapy and friends and family and life are all for. hospitals are for people who need medication asap, or are suicidal, or are dangerous, basically anyone who needs to be closely monitored by professionals for a period of time.

realistically, psych wards can be a good option some of the time... and honestly, your brother sounds somewhat psychotic. this is beyond him being a little weird- he sounds dangerous, and really unhealthy. i wouldn't say this easily, but i shared my thoughts and experience with you because i want you to understand that i've seen a lot of people in a lot of different facilities, some who clearly needed to be inpatient and some who probably could have made it without being hospitalized- i wouldn't claim to be an expert, and i know, trust me i know it's not an easy decision, but considering your family history, and what you've said of your brother's behavior, if he's not willing to see a doctor, or talk to a therapist, or stop smoking weed on his own, you can always have him involuntarily admitted to a psychiatric unit for observation and he will be forced to be evaluated. it's not fun for anyone, but quite frankly, sometimes people get to the point where they don't know where they're at. it might be your only option, and he won't be able to smoke weed. he will almost definitely be put on medication, which to be honest might do him some good if he's delusional, which from what you're saying, it sounds like he is. sometimes, when we can't make our own good decisions (like your brother), we have to accept that other people who love us and care about us may have to make decisions for us that we may not like at the time but may be better for us in the long run, you know?

whatever happens, i wish your family the best.... please do keep us updated

 

I'm not sure there is anything you really can do unless he's willing to change. Not sure if this is an option but try to go on a two week camping/hike together, one where you're really roughing it. Get away from the same old same old and tell him how you feel and how he's coming off to other members of your family. Access to the internet is only going to fuel the fire when it comes to conspiracy theories. He needs to get out of the reality that he's made himself. It sounds like he spends way to much time online and takes everything he sees there literally. Can you cut him off from the internet?

 

@Lynnbrown Yea me and the rest of my family think he purposely smoked weed prior to leaving because of some last second change of mind. He even skipped out on our family vacation by all of a sudden becoming super sick the day we were leaving and wanted to stay home, he's shown numerous last second desperate acts like these to not do something growing up. And as for being like my aunt, my mom thinks he is a little like her but i'm not sure, I never got to know her really other than that she was always very religious. thanks for your help too

@Cherokeemist Thanks for the response, good to know the best options. I may have made my brothers behavior seem a little more intense than it really is tho. He does contain himself pretty well usually, but then he just lets out random bursts of explaining these crazy theories he finds n stuff. So I'm gonna be watching out to see if he gets worse with all this before really looking into a psychiatric unit type situation.

@Brudof I like your advice. Me and the family went to florida for 5 days in November, and the night before we left he was really being super bizarre and crazy with conspiracy stuff to all of us but when we were actually on our trip, he was a lot more of his normal self like he used to be and would be more casual with the conspiracy/govt corruption things he cares so much about and could actually have a conversation about it. I really do think getting him away from the internet will help him and lately I've been thinking I should have my dad do that this summer because then I could be there living with him and try to always come up with things for us to do so i can actually bring him into the real world again. I bought him a skateboard for xmas like we both grew up doing and we both want to get back into it so I really do have hope that this summer I'll be able to bring him back into reality by just being there with him.