Is this edging? Why can't he control it? It goes on forever...

I'll make this quick as possible. The guy I am sleeping with was a virgin before me. He is currently 21 but didn't even masturbate till around 19 (With me prompting him, telling him he needed to learn about himself before having sex with someone else).

The problem. He takes FOREVER to come. like 45 min of non stop in and out ... This is okay sometimes but a lot of the time I just get OVER it. We talk about it and he insist it just takes him this long to achieve orgasm and he isn't holding back.... well we had another conversation about it and now I am CONFUSED.

He says he has read some stuff and decided that what he is doing is Edging... the thing is most things I find to read about this are about people trying to teach themselves to do this... he on the other hand just stumbled across it and insist he isn't TRYING to do it but that he can't NOT do it.

He says when he masturbates he gets to the "edge" which he can maintain almost indefinitely. He says when he does this the head of his penis shrinks and needs DIRECT stimulation to actually orgasm. This explains why he aims his penis at weird angles inside me I guess...

He seems to think he is super cool for being able to do this, I find it frustrating... I feel he should be able to not HAVE to do this every time but I don't know how to change it... HELP!!

He has at times claimed to take this long whether masturbating or not but then recently said he CAN come is 15 min if he want when masturbating... I am beginning to this he is giving attention to the head that is stimulation a vagina cannot emulate...

I can come very easy to this has been an on going issue to the point where I am always frustrated by the end of things...

 

i don't think that really qualifies as edging. i don't know what the problem is. maybe he's asexual, considering he never saw a need to masturbate until he was told to, and therefore sex just doesn't really do anything for him. i dunno.

 

He is certainly not asexual... He is ALWAYS trying to get me naked and seems to be rather excited and aroused easily. The only reason I think he may have never masturbated before is do to his religious/conservative upbringing but if that is the case it is sub-conscience .... He wants it all the time but I give it to him less and less because it seems to ALWAYS go on and on and I don't always have an hour and half to spend... He says it feels REALLY good the whole time and there for HE isn't frustrated at all as hitting that EDGE and staying there is a GOOD thing for him.

 

Is he on any medications? Some medicines can make it difficult for men to reach orgasm.

If he's not on any medication and he really is doing this intentionally, you should be direct with him and let him know that you don't enjoy sex with him when he does that. If your partner is doing something you don't like, you need to let them know. And if they won't stop doing it then you have to decide whether you want to continue to put up with it or not.

I know it sounds harsh, but I'm willing to do whatever a girl needs to help her get off. However, if she can't climax in a reasonable time period then that's her own problem, and it goes both ways. You don't have to go for hours on end waiting for him to cum. When it's to the point that you've had enough just stop.

 

Bingo.

It is not uncommon for people raised in a conservative religious environment to have this type of problem. All that guilt about sexuality can really mess with a guy's head. If you really care about him it is going to take some time but it sounds like he cares about you, so IMO the potential to get past this is there.

 

if it were me, i would tell him that i was rubbed raw, chafing, and please stop, or learn how to come in a timely fashion. i dont have all day! or an unlimited supply of juices.

i have rarely experienced that situation, but i would not go through it again. hey, sorry, you snooze you lose.

you could finish him off in a more stimulating way though. might make the situation better.

 

Well that's an aweful lot of pressure. Why is all of the pressure to perform properly on him, and none of it on you?

The man you love spends 45 minutes in ecstacy and that is "okay sometimes". Actually, it's "the problem." He thrusts into you at "weird" angles. Well boo fucking hoo. It would also be a problem if he came too fast. Or if he always used the same angle, that would be boring. Why are women always so concerned with the pace and manner of men's orgasm? But not in a helpful, supportive, caring manner. In a you need to be the way I want manner.

He makes you cum, right? Well be a decent person and return the favor without being so reticent about it. What would you say about a man being so complainy about helping his sexually inexperienced girlfriend achieve orgasm? He's a virgin who's only been masturbating for two years. Give him a break!

When you get tired of using your vagina, there are plenty of other ways that you can help make your man cum. You have concluded that your vagina is actually not the way to do it, since it doesn't provide enough direct stimulus to the head of the penis. So why don't you do something else?

 

bf sounds like a dick. I find it hilarious. Go fuck yourself.

 

How much of this have you communicated to him?