One of my best friends passed away two weeks ago coming up on Tuesday. It was very sudden and I have not ever experienced death this close to me before. My friend was a photographer and completely my influence when I was in art school with her. She quickly became one of my very best friends. We had more of a connection than our earthly bodies. I am convinced of that. When she was on this earth, I could feel her love and happiness radiate to me. She was truely one of the most genuine and beautiful people on this planet. In the last couple of months we hadn't been in as much contact because I moved out of state a little over a year ago. In fact, our last exchange was very negative. Really only because of my stress at the time because I had just found out that my stepdad had terminal cancer. He passed away the day before yesterday. Maybe I'm just having trouble dealing with her death...but I have had such a charge of creative energy lately and every photo I have taken makes me think of her. I should also mention that when I was headed down south to go see family and wait on her funeral arrangements, I had an overwhelming sense that she was in the car which brought me to tears. This only lasted a little while, but long enough to notice. My sister also had a dream about her a couple of nights ago. This was something I've been trying to do for a while, but with no luck. She said that I was supposed to be coming to pick her up to help her out and instead, my friend showed up to help. She and I also share the same name (only spelled differently). I would just like some sort of closure and guidance. I need someone wiser to tell me if I'm just having a hard time or if any of this actually means something. Thank you.
I'm sorry you've experienced these losses. I believe that the ones we love live on, but that death releases them from their most recent life. They moved on, pursuing their path, the instant they were released from this life. There probably is some residual energy that remains for a short while after they've passed that's more a physical energy. I don't believe they hover around watching over us like angels. However, our memories of them linger with us for as long as we live, and our minds are powerful enough to nearly manifest our thoughts. This is my belief. Who knows?
This is a massive impact to go through, please recall all those good things of lost ones, those things that make you smile as you recall the times you enjoyed with them, it may be easier and of course it may ensure you value their lives in passing as you had valued them in living.
Sure! She's around you very much. She is inspiring you in your photography. Encouraging you to do more. Giving you a new "eye" for the picture. Does a "K" name have significance? Could be a "K" sound like Cathy? And Savannah may have significance. What is the glass object on your desk or dresser next to a mirror and your camera that reminds you of her? Just give yourself to time to settle into these recent loses. They will both be supporting you from the otherside. From their perspective, all is well.
You have my condolences, grief is so hard to deal with. I have lost many loved ones in my life and I know truly, how it feels when you lose someone so dear. Hang on to the good memories, use music and what pleases you to aid you in heart healing. She does not want you to suffer. When my neighbor lady's 16 year old son died they threw a party to remember him by and they tried to have fun in his memory. Try to do some sort of fun ritual with her in mind. Something you both enjoyed doing together. Talk to her in your head. This helps with closure. You need to let go of her eventually, so she can go on to her next journey. When we cling to tightly to those we love they try to watch over us preventing them from doing what they need to do next. You will probably feel her presence a lot. It hurts her to see you suffer. Meditate if you can and do your best to relax and find peace.
Light a candle in her honor, pray that her spirit is at peace and find a quiet place where you feel comfortable talking to her. Take a deep breathe and talk to her as if she was there, get everything off of your chest in regards to how you think and feel about the situation and what you want her to understand about it. If you have anyting to feel bad about then apologize. Things will be cool after that. Be prepared though, you will feel her presence less and less as months go by. Speak to her soon while your thoughts are pulling her near.
I am sorry for your loss. I hope you can still "feel her love and happiness radiate to me." That would be what you should remember of your connection. Focus on your newly felt creative energy and see where that takes you. With two losses so close to each other this is a powerful time for you. Try to find some peace. Remember to take care of yourself.
