Hey all, I've been dating this girl for 3 months so far.The relationship is good, but she has told me she is asexual. She has no desire whatsoever to go that far or even try new things. I just have needs. So what should I do?
Be with her for who she is.. try work on it, if she doesn't want to than that is her choice.. then your choice is to stay or go
It's so obvious, I'm not even going to say it. It's amazing that it doesn't even cross people's minds after 5 odd posts. In Cherea's world, it would be the first thing to come to mind.
but you might be falling for a common experimental relationship trap! wait be careful! I fell into this trap when I was yougner and lost a girl I would only later discover was awesome. She probably wants you to stick with her after her telling you she's asexual as a final sneaky test of your comitment. Young girls do this shit all the time. The test she has propposed: she tells you she's asexual and you (a) break up with her (answering her questions and, ultimately, solving her problem) or (b) stick it out (proving your devotion). If you go with b, you might get stuck in a sexless relationship, but in all likelihood, she is testing you and you will eventually get poon for pretending like you don't want it. ^^^this is also good advice^^^
See if you can open her up a little (figuratively and literally). Maybe hedgeclipper is right and she's throwing you a curveball to see how you react. Or maybe she's really shy about sexual things and is embarrassed and unsure how to get started and needs you to take control. Start slow, just kissing for a couple of dates. Then slowly move it forward. You should get a sense of whether or not she gets turned on. Don't pressure her though! Obviously if you get a sense that she's into it but just holding back, that's a really good sign. If you really think she has absolutely NO sexual needs even after a lot of work on your part, I would probably part ways with her. Not because I'm shallow or anything, but because sex does play an important role in any romantic relationship. If it's important to you - which is very normal - then you need to be with someone who finds it important as well.
