Bad sex = unhappy relationship?

Although me and my boyfriend get along and are happy with how things are going..our sex life has problems. We havn't been together long though.

He finishes really quickly anyway.. and so can't get me to orgasm through intercourse but he also has problems making me come manually through oral/anything else. This has really lowered his self esteem and he feels bad about it. I've tried telling him what feels good/how to do it but I always just seem to get to the brink of coming then he will give up or change what he's doing and loose it. I've tried to tell him to keep going/keep doing what you're doing but it's just not working. I think now I've got a mental block and can't just let go and come!

On top of that he also has a problem of going soft mid way through doing the deed! He gets aroused really easily, and is ready way before I am but his penis never seems properly hard.. it's just about hard enough for penetration, but not as hard as it should be. When it gets hard enough for penetration we can go at it for a bit, then he will either come early and leave us both dissatisfied...or he'll just start to go soft. We've tried different positions etc.

Did me from behind this morning and was going at it hard when I just started to feel less 'full' and eventually I just have to say look stop...you're going soft. Sometimes he wont even notice till it just flops out. It must be so embarrassing for him..even though im supportive and tell him its okay.

He has yet to really satisfy me, and although he can get me off with fingers/oral..he can't make me come. Maybe that's partly me too..because he does really try hard.

I really dont want it to ruin our relationship..but I fear it might.



Any ideas would be much appreciated!

 

i'll get the standard replies out of the way so an actual discussion can happen...

first 5 responses: communicate with him.

vanilla gorilla: lol at all the "communication" responses.

cutted: READ MY THREAD LOOK AT MY THREAD 65918480347 PEOPLE HAVE BENEFITED FROM MY THREAD!!!!

everyone with under 10 total posts: i can stay hard for 6 hours and it takes me that long to cum and i would make sure to satisfy you baby pm me if you have skype.



alright, now we can move along with it.

 

Maybe he can talk with his doctor about erectile dysfunction.

 

I have spoken with him about it, he just seems to get upset at the fact he isn't satisfying me. I don't think he would go to the doctor and talk about it. I could try and persuade him to but he's more likely to refuse and just get more and more annoyed at himself for it which I expect would make it worse.

 

Sounds like he isn't willing to put forward the work to make the relationship work.

 

Just wondering if anyone else has had issues with it going soft when it's inside? I've not come across it before...

He thought it was when he changed the rhythm and moved positions..but it even happens when he keeps a rhythm in doggie style. I think I will ask him about getting it checked out. Does anyone think it could be fully psychological block? Or is it more likely to be physical? I'm pretty young really and don't have too much experience so it's kinda put me off even getting intimate...because I know how much it gets to him.

 

I've actually been in this same situation before. It sucked horribly..and was the first time I ran into this problem. I always wondered if he had some sort of dysfunction..

 

Perhaps this is an issue with both of you. Do either of you have any common ground sexually?

 

Lol, but there will stil be another half dozen replies along the lines of "maybe you should just talk to him"

 

What do you mean by common ground sexually?

 

Its totally going to ruin your relationship if he doesn't deal with this issue. Sounds like a medical/physical issue that's turned psychological as well. He needs to talk to a doctor to see what can help. Can you really see yourself in a long term relationship with bad sex? Unless you have a low sex drive its not going to work.

 

what, is this like the fourth thread in a month from a woman who says she is sexually dissatisfied because her partner has a small penis and cums to quick?

I want to read just once about the woman who has a partner with a small penis but not PE or a man with a huge cock who has PE.

It's almost as if there is a campaign to give women who are not happy with their sex lives an easy explanation: SMALL PENIS/ PREMATURE EJACULATION.

I'm not saying there aren't men with both of these problems but to say they always go hand in hand seems ridiculous.

and if a woman is so unhappy with the sex why does she stay in the relationship?

 

i don't see where she mentioned penis size?

 

all the talk about it not being properly hard and her not feeling 'full' led me to assume.

 

The size when he is erect is fine. The issue wasnt even so much PE..its him going soft half way though.

I do have a high sex drive..and it turned into me being the one instigating it most of the time. But now we're both put off.

As for why I stay in the relationship..well. I've never met anyone I feel so compatible with. He's the first guy I feel that it could go somewhere other than just a bit of having fun. We havnt been together long, so I'd like to see if the issue can be fixed rather than leaving him for it..which would really upset him and knock his confidence even more.

Thankyou so much for everyones replies so far!

 

Look up male and female kegels online. It can help him stay erect and help you become orgasmic. I had problems having an orgasm with a lover but was always able to orgasm touching myself. My ex husband was the only guy who really could make me orgasm. He did kegels and when he went soft he would just gently rub his soft penis on my clitoris and often he would get hard again. His fingers were to rough and orally I never came. Also a good fantasy while you are doing it isn't bad. He and I would imagine we were having sex with each others souls and we even imagined that I was the male and he was the female. It worked for us. You need to find out what works for you.

 

yeah, i think she didn't feel full because she had a limp dick in her, which is generally smaller, and less "filling" because it can be squeezed to be even smaller than normal.



anyway, i don't think going soft in the middle of sex is terribly uncommon. you just pull it out, slap it a few times until it gets hard again, and continue.

 

i wonder if he's wankin off to a hidden porn stash. doing that too much can cause dysfunction when you're having sex with an actual woman.

 

Why not have him try Viagra? or Cialis or Levitra? lots of drugs to make his dick hard for hours.

 

I think we might try viagra. As for porn, he does watch it.Im not sure how much but I know for sure he does.

I know going soft can happen, but its so frequent for us :/