A materialist, atheist sceptic asks to meet God... and gets what he asks for.

Well… this one's quite a tough one for me to write. I guess recently part of me thought something along these lines might be coming - but I still had many big doubts about whether it was just a drug induced delusion that was showing me something my subconscious wanted me to believe or if there was any reality in it.

I, a long time sceptic who has been tied strongly to the physical and someone who found it quite easy to accept (albeit depressing) that we would end up as nothing more than dust… just had the opportunity to meet God and speak with him/her through an angel, my guardian angel.

It wasn't just a meeting - I got to talk to the light through the angel - ask any questions I could think of and have some things about how the universe works shown to me (not that I could comprehend much and it warned me about that!).

He/She/It… terms are irrelevant - the angel/goddess presented itself in a feminine form. Incredibly beautiful - blonde hair, piercing blue eyes - it channelled the light of God through a position similar to its third eye.

Sproggy is a bit ill at the moment and after my last two trips which had relatively rough come-ups, even thought the experiences themselves were good, I was contemplating not having the trip as I wanted him there. But on the other hand, I've been wanting a trip with just me and Firefox for a while now and there were some signs throughout the day that just urged me to do it anyway.

We decided to try some new music on the come-up this time, but I got a "safe" playlist ready too just in case I fancied the switch. I got this rather nice piano-based compilation classical dvd-a so we started with that, the "safe" playlist was my usual uplifting trance - the likes of Tiesto, Above & Beyond, Cosmic Gate, a couple of Deadmau5 tracks and an Axwell mix of In My Mind - tracks I've played quite frequently while tripping.

The come-up was the smoothest I've ever had - such an easy come up… it was like I was being lifted up into the shared consciousness in pastel coloured clouds made out of cotton wool - some wonderful feelings rushing through my body.

At a couple of points, Firefox had the urge to switch the playlist to our safe one for no other reason than she felt we should switch it - we persisted with the classical for a while as it was rather pleasant and we were both enjoying it - but changed it over after a while.

Much more activity started going on around us - we'd just been to Camden market and bought a load of funky decorative tapestries and ornaments that were dotted around the room. These started becoming so much more active with the new playlist and lots of eyes started appearing.

Soon after this, I went for a pee… as I'd finished I felt this amazing force. It was like the pull of a strong magnet, so strong it almost made me fall over on a couple of occasions. It moved round the house, practically dragging me with it… first into the kitchen where I saw its outline - it was bending space-time around itself.

It moved toward me and started encircling me, I could feel the force from it making my body move with it… then it pulled me through into the living room and went inside Firefox.

At this point there was a noticeable shift in Firefox's behaviour/look - it was like there were three entities able to talk through her. Herself, her awakened spirit-self and this new entity. She took an abnormal seated position on the floor, the kind of position she's never sat in before.

Firefox's spirit-self very clearly told me that this night had been planned - it had organised to separate itself from having fun in various ways in the shared consciousness so that it could help me that day. That something was going to happen and a feminine goddess was going to borrow her to communicate with me. It told me that everyone was present to watch the show. Everyone meaning everyone in the universe (their spirit-selves).

It told me the best way to comprehend the existence there was as if it was a more advanced/evolved version of ourselves and we were re-experiencing each other as well as playing with each other… everyone is connected. These were the eyes I've been seeing since about my 5th trip 6 or so months ago - eyes have been a very prominent visual of mine - they're spirits watching and enjoying the show!

It explained the twinkles and that most of the come-up visuals are planned by those who are watching the show with you. The shared consciousness shares information and ideas with you.



In my last two trips I had noticed something I couldn't quite explain - I wasn't sure if it was me, my ego, my spirit-self, firefox, firefox's spirit self or something more. I had the feeling that I had met God previously, but couldn't make much sense of it.

During this time I've been having lots of existential conversations with multiple people, it's a fantastically interesting subject. In the week or so leading up to this trip these had led me to wonder what could exist - especially after proving to ourselves that telepathy is possible. So, earlier in the week, I tried asking to meet any God that may exist or Jesus/similar. I most certainly got what I asked for and funnily - I kept saying that to the angel.

This time the angel showed me around a bit and sort of tried preparing me for what was about to come.

The colour itself is indescribable, but it's closest to a combination of white, silver and gold. This immense light shone through the third eye of the angel, it was incredibly bright, warm and loving - almost too bright, but just below that, just right.

It and/or the angel then proceeded to show me some incredible things and I got to ask them any question I could think of… although that wasn't the easiest of tasks.

All I could think of to begin with was quite simple - "Why?"

There weren't many it would give me a direct answer to - most of the time it would poke me in the right direction so that I could figure it out for myself - at least for the things that I could comprehend.

This was one I got a direct answer to:

"Because I can, because I felt like it and because I wanted to"

It was such an incredible intelligence, it used my own way of thinking, my own logic to prove to me that this was not a delusion, I was really experiencing this.

The behaviour of my three cats was very interesting throughout all of this. I have three, normally one goes off to sleep in another room, another goes a bit nuts and seemingly loves tripping and the third tends to switch into a kind of protective mode. The active two are usually all over the house. All the time this presence was around - they were in the same room curled up and sleeping - very unusual.

There were some other questions too, I can't quite remember all at the moment.

It addressed my fears directly too… previously I've been thinking - even if there was a shared existence after we lose our physical form here - I've been scared that I would lose my individuality - that I would lose who I am and just cease to exist, in effect. I was very clearly told:

"You won't"

It wondered why I wanted to keep my individuality if I could be part of a deity - which led me to answer - 'I like who I am". I think the only reason it probed for that answer was for me to realise my own answer.

It seems you get both, while every facet of your being is connected to everyone and everything - you're still you.

As we went along, I was trying to understand everything - which I finally realise is a pointless concept in there. It quizzed me on the reason I wanted to understand and I came back with - "because that's who I am".

It showed me how to do various things too within the planes of existence. It showed me how to control my visuals - it gave me like a paint pallet to play with and showed me how to use my fingers to use it and draw.

It showed me how to alter my memory, it's like lifting your memories out of your head as if you were taking off a hat and putting a new one on to experience a different existence.

It showed me how to move between the planes, how to come back to this reality for bodily functions and then head back into the consciousness when I chose to. Quite handy - previously I've only been able to reach that state once in a trip and then usually I plateau after a few hours and can't get back. Now I can take full advantage of each trip.

But the most amazing thing it showed me had to be how time works. It pre-faced it by telling me that I wouldn't be able to fully comprehend it in my form - but that it was willing to show me. So unfortunately I can't describe how it works - but I can certainly describe the experience.

All throughout this experience - it had customised the playlist and the wallpapers that were being shown on my TV. There were some amazing pieces of music and they definitely weren't ones I picked or even know. The music enveloped me, it was inside the fibre of my being.

It's an incredible fractal that only ends at infinity - at this infinite point - that is where the timeless spirit realm exists. It's like a three-sided fractal - I've felt like I've been falling into it as I've been going into a trip in the past - it made so much sense this time. It expanded it and picked it apart - showing me how one stage seemingly links to the next, even though it doesn't "link" because it's a fractal.

It used one of my favourite tracks - a track I've played throughout most of my trips - to demonstrate how manipulatable time is. It brought me back in a pretty lucid state to the living room. It used this track to move us throughout all of my trips. As it was doing this, the room was rotating into place, like jigsaw pieces fitting together… rotate, chunk, rotate, chunk, rotate, chunk… etc… there were audible blips in the music as each slice of time was falling into place. It showed me bits from trips from the perspectives of my closest friends as well as myself - I saw what they saw at those times during those trips.

It explained to me that existence is quite similar to the story "The Egg"… perhaps not what we could consider the highest level of God, more like a lower-level deity. We can choose our path and our experience contributes to the whole.

It actually didn't like the term "shared consciousness"… apparently it was a good estimation - but that's not how it exists. I didn't quite understand the explanation though.

It showed me how waves interact with particles - it explained and showed the resonance you hear when you go into a deep trip or meditation. That sound you hear is the communication channel between your spirit self and your body - it's not directly the sound of the universe - it's your communication pathway.

It showed me an incredibly large/complex fractal version of a swastika - it seemed somehow related to the core of the universe.

The patience it had with me throughout this whole encounter was brilliant. It was happy to show me around and teach me at a pace that was easy for me. It was very happy to see me and elated to show me around / teach me / spend "time" with me. It asked nothing of me, just opened itself up to me to show me love and let me ask whatever I wanted.

It showed me, from the perspective of my spirit-self… the waking-up procedure of Firefox - her realisations and coming to the same conclusions as me. My spirit self guided her through her awakening. For her, she had all this at the beginning of her very first trip - she's always been able to connect to her spirit-self very easily. For me, I need training - I need to learn. I need to learn to let go and I need to learn how to play again.

It showed me vaguely how our spirits exists - it's like a deep blue mist.

I saw multiple incarnations of Firefox's spirit… all humanoid - but most definitely not all human - there were some interesting species rolled into that.

Everything from past trips just made sense in this one… it all added up to give me this experience.

On the way back down, I got to see Jesus… he showed me his generally accepted form but then also took the form of every primary religious figure in history and some I had never seen before - all rolled into a single being in a peaceful light blue colour. Interestingly, there was no mohammed included in that visual. My last vision of him was him smiling and waving at me.

It told me it's got more to show me… :sunny:



I recognised that I've seen its look in other people in the past… through the eyes of Firefox, Sproggy and my mum. Maybe others too… it's like it looks through us to have a look around.



When I'd come back to a more normal version of reality, but still had some visual activity going on - I was able to use some of what I'd been shown earlier to manipulate the visuals - I've started learning how to play with them. Firefox is far more advanced than me though.



I've seemingly been gifted some great things. I've been given the ability to see auras and also a way to protect myself from less pleasant things and perhaps luck. My aura is a light gold colour - confirming the experience I had. I've also been given a Hamsa.

Others seem to have noticed my aura, even if they don't know what it is.

I seem to have been gifted a tiny halo, the size of a small coin - which indicates I may have the ability to become a spiritual teacher - I've been looking for meaning or purpose and I can't imagine a more pleasant purpose so hope I will be able to achieve that.



When I was asking about the nature of existence - what there was potentially outside etc… I was actually a little disappointed with the explanation - I wanted it to be more complicated or to understand an alternate reason perhaps. It saw my disappointment and was disappointed that I felt that way.

After coming down and having more time to think about it - I felt rather guilty that I showed that after I realised it's actually a rather wonderful reason to be. We've been given an eternity of love and enjoyment - how awesome is that? Sure we go through suffering in this lifetime, but that doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things - it's like it's to learn to appreciate being reconnected, or even to learn to connect in the first place.

On my way back to Basel, on the plane I was a bit tired - so instead of reading, I closed my eyes and starting thinking. I realised that I had asked for that experience, so could perhaps communicate again without too much trouble. I closed my eyes and took the time to say thank you for everything, apologise for feeling disappointed at the time, explaining that it was only because I didn't understand it then and I asked if it would ever be possible to see the being again. The light, warmth and love came back and for quite a while! It was great to sit there, basking in the light. It was so bright, it can't have been anything else.

Dose wise, I was on around 250ug.

Absolutely wonderful experience, I still can't quite believe I had it after my atheistic and materialistic life this far. But I don't doubt what I saw. I very much look forward to exploring more :sunny:

 

It was not uncommon for primitive man to use mind altering substances to get closer to the supernatural. However, they are called mind altering substances for a reason.

 

Altering the mind for spiritual improvement, contentment, happiness, increasing the desire to enjoy and experience life, broadening ones opinion of the world and those in it, opening up to new experiences, improving the desire to learn, removing the fear of death and just generally feeling wonderful.

I see no harm there :sunny:

 

good read dude ... shame i have not been of health recently to have walked with you that nyte physically .... but always there spiritually

 

You were there and you know it :sunny:

 

beautiful report . i hope to experience a trip as intense as that some day, whenever I can find the real deal.

 

Thanks

It really wasn't all that intense at all though, it was the easiest come up I can remember.

It felt like being lifted up on pastel clouds of cotton wool... lol!

 

This is what the LSD forum needs more of! Good write up!

 

Wow, that is crazy.
Sounds like you met a Pledian

 

Thanks :sunny:

Heh... after googling that and looking at the pictures, seems plausible. :daisy:

 

how come all i ever get on acid is a buzz and mild hallucinations you'd expect if you chugged two redbulls and sat up too fast? this shit sounds awesome.

 

Great write-up. Sounds like a thoroughly fascinating experience. LSD is sure a crazy thing.

 

I think it depends on what you want out of the experience and also what you're willing to accept/believe.

I think it will give you what you need.

I asked to meet God and got what I asked for... I think that possibility is open to everyone, although I don't know for sure.

I certainly count myself very lucky that these experiences have gone the way they have, they've made me love more, appreciate life more and search for something more meaningful for me to do rather than continuing in the commercial rat race that I'm involved with at the minute.

:sunny:

 

It's a lot simpler than all that, autophobe, increase dose (speaking of which, where has pr0ne420 been lately?)

Tasty is taking some pretty decent doses in these reports, easily equal to 3-5 hits (in this report) of what is commonly available on the street.

That is one of the interesting aspects of LSD, it is VERY dose dependent, and when you start getting into the doses that Tasty has been dabbling with, the actual mechanism of action within the nervous system almost has an opposite effect as lower doses. (will have to dig up and link the paper that suggested this)

found it;
http://www.cs.hmc.edu/~ivl/writing/non_fiction/lsd/

 

Very true - I needed a higher dose to push me to experience this.

It helped force me to let go of my ego and open up to whatever was there.

Timothy Leary, Terence McKenna and many of their colleagues are quoted as saying something similar to:

"If you don't think you've had too much, you haven't done enough".


It's all to do with forcing you to let go of your ego, your set of barriers... you pre-conceived beliefs.

Release your beliefs and you open yourself up to new experiences.



In order to start experiencing this, I took 1200-1400ug of some acid that I had diluted straight from crystal. So I knew the purity and dose within a reasonable range (the range is due to licking the container the crystal came in after dissolving the crystal in vodka and putting it in a dropper bottle).

After this high dose experience, I'm able to get back to the shared consciousness on as little as 250ug, perhaps even less.

Now I find the dose level only really affects how vivid the visuals are.

I'm finding 300-500ug to be the right range for me... I think in future I may look for another large dose - but I don't need that for quite a while yet.



I remember a quote from Timothy Leary... I think he did large doses every week for two years straight, along with all the other trips he had.

He may have gone about his approach to distribute it to the world in ever so slightly the wrong way - but it did no damage to him...

 

Yes---they are mind altering because they open one up to an altered state of consciousness, in other words, allowing us to percieve a different aspect of the universe around us---a different reality.

I have shared my story elsewhere on this forum--how I was a similar skeptical materialist exploring the possibilities that we are all alone in an atheistic reality. But spirit showed me that such ideas are not reality---in fact it had to show me over and over until it was elevated to something so impossible and physical that no matter how I questioned, I could not deny it.

But because of my situation, I was unable to use mind altering substances. In my case--it all happened while I was sober, and using nothing more than a drum, or a drumming CD.

Then once I knew, I was opened up to a new world---I was introduced to my Lakota friends. Today, I carry a sacred pipe--which means that I can't just go out and use mind altering substances--because carrying a pipe, for me, mind altering substances are a powerful medicine that are meant for specific sacred purposes---for the sake of the pipe, and those who wish me to pray for them, I cannot just go out and use them.

Long story short, the experiences I have had with my Lakota friends was also not drug induced---yet I have seen some amazing things----and my life is filled with synchronicities. On a vision quest, for example, I was shown many things, and watched a portion of Lakota myth, physically play out in the night sky---but not as a vision----as natural phenomena---shooting stars to be exact---happening in connection to the land around me, and over less than a minute of time---and these were the only shooting stars I saw the whole time I was on the hill--3 nights---which deep in the mountains----is unusual in itself. And a bird told me, not physically--but told me just the same---to expect that to happen that night.

(I hope to sometime gain permission from spirit to use mind altering substances----I have some mushroom tucked away, I have a San Pedro cactus, I have a small stash of weed (which is probably no good---because it is years old----but I have a source of good weed if I am allowed to do it). But most likely when I am allowed, it will be through a peyote ceremony. Many of my friends are part of the Native American Church. They have invited me to ceremonies, but I have been unable to go---they know it is up to spirit, and my pipe, when the situation is right for me to go).

Anyway-----thank you for sharing that Tastyweat----that is very incredible!!!

 

Yes, once you become familiar with the landscape, it's much easier to get back there. It takes me very little of a substance to get completely back into the psychedelic realm. As you say, the visual/sensory aspects are what diminish, but the mental aspects can be had readily on small doses.

I will say though, 300-500ugs is still a fucking good sized dose.

Maybe take a break and then start low, 50-75ugs and explore LSD in those dose ranges, can be VERY interesting and educational.
Don't need to blow the top of your skull off each time, ya know.

Seriously though, by exploring low dose experiences it gave me tremendous insight into the how's and why's of different effects and afforded me better tools with which to decipher/understand what was going on and be better able to separate the wheat from the chaff so to speak on higher dose experiences.

 

I respect your beliefs, but the message I got is that it's entirely your choice - so I don't know if you will ever get direct permission from the spirits... although you might get a hint, I suppose.

It's your show, so it's up to you how you choose to live it - if you feel you need or would like an experience like that, I'm sure the spirits would support your journey.

I feel the choice is yours, not outside of you... perhaps you have to realise that before you can have such an experience and that's what they're guiding you towards?

I think you mentioned that you are guided by a wolf (singular) in your journeys... I have a feeling it may be multiple wolves...?

 

I started low and worked my way up

Trip frequency will decrease now, albeit I have another one planned next week with Sproggy...

I'm a visual learner, so I feel the more visual trips are more beneficial to me... I don't see the point in going for too low a dose.

There are many who've taken lots of higher doses than me, more frequently than me... so I'm not too worried, although I'll always be checking myself.

I'd love to continue their work... that's one of the possibilities I've been thinking about to bring more fulfilment.

 

I actually agree with you that at one level it is up to me. Certainly if I did not have the Chanunpa (pipe), I would be taking advantage of the mushroom, or the San Pedro, and so forth. It is also an issue of how these powerful medicines are used---they are given to us for a purpose. Recreational use does not seem to be that purpose (for example, there is a famous medicine man, I will not name names because he is respected and many do not know this about him, but his children used to smoke weed in his house--for recreational use, not in a medicinal or spiritual way---and this is even around his pipe---so there was a lot of trouble and misfortune within the family).

But I would use these things for spiritual purposes, and have used weed in that manner too with good results. I think that is why you are having such good results too----you obviously use LSD in a serious manner. Even the clincal use of LSD---is so constructive and useful, because it is not being used like a game or a toy.

With the Indians there are different levels and things are different at the different levels. On the surface, you are either chosen to follow the chanunpa road, or the peyote road, but then at a deeper level, you find that the chanunpa is used in the peyote ceremony, and those who were supposedly on the chanunpa path, attend the peyote ceremony too.

I think though that I was meant to have those experiences the way I did--sober. For one thing I was too much of a disbeliever and questioned too much and the experience could have been rationalized away, as I would always do, if it was drug induced, if not then, perhaps later. On top of that, I can write and share about them as sober experiences, which to some people may be more significant----not to take away from your experiences---I think those are fantastic and are the reason these are given to us!

But if I got overly impatient, I could wrap up my chanunpa and bury it in a closet for a few days---but for now, it is good enough for me to know that I have the stuff here when I want to use it, or that I do have someone to take me to a peyote ceremony when the time is right. In the meantime, I do have a relationship with my San Pedro (which like peyote contains mescalline), it communicates with me as I drum into spirit journeys or in my dreams. And I have had experiences that started out like a peyote trip----in particular lucid dreams, when sleeping near my San Pedro, that after climbing this tall green geometrically intricate organic structure with glowing gem stones and vivid colors---that upon reaching the top, I am shown things, which answer questions I have had----and that is without ingesting any of the San Pedro.

But I guess it really boils down to the fact that I am still learning to listen to my chanunpa. A chanunpa, after being blessed, is a living thing, and I need to be able to comunicate with it in a sober state----something that is much harder for a Westerner--raised in the inflated ego world of modern rationalistic objectivism----to do. When I pray with it, prayers are answered, some amazing things have happened----but I am still fighting that ego, and the opening up of my perceptions to the chanunpa. When I have it in our bedroom at night, it communicates to my wife in her dreams, better than it does to me (and my wife hates when that happens----she is actually descended from Filipino healers, and the spirits want to work with her---she let them at one point but I think a part of her knows the serious commitment and obligations and responsibilities that entails for her----and that scares her, and she has backed off).

You could be right on the wolf---and there are times where I deal with more than one wolf, and my wife also had a wolf spirit which she now ignores, so I have tended to that one too. But usually there is a specific wolf I meet on my spirit journeys. The Red Tailed Hawk also came into my life several years ago, and has actually got me to working more seriously on my books and so forth. Then there is the turtle---through the turtle maiden, who was introduced to me to help me out with a financial problem years ago. She helped me with some amazing results (which I rationalized as a strange coincidence---that was before the tail). Anyway---these things sound very weird or New Age---so I generally do not talk about them.